werewolfgal13 To prove there is a film worse than anything by Ed Wood, more horrendous than Tha' Hip Hop Witch or Manos one need only watch this abomination. The aforementioned films can at least be enjoyed with copious alcohol or MST3k episodes, Ankle Biters is beyond saving with either method. I've seen many many bad films in my time but most have some sort of saving grace: maybe the script is actually okay or the director has one or two neat things or there is one semi-talented actor or even the "so bad it's funny" factor comes into play. Even when films don't have any of those factors they at least have heart. Again not so with Ankle Biters. I was promised midget vampires and schlocky fun. As soon as my friend said midget vampires I was there ready for a rollicking good time I mean dwarfs and vampires together at last AWESOME!!! little did I know how wrong I was. Avoid at all costs unless you are an aspiring film maker who just needs a "if he can do it and get it on DVD so can I" kick in the pants.

trashgang I really couldn't believe what I just saw. They say that Beasties, Things and Winterbeast are the worst movies to see but hey, they contain nudity and blood. This flick only contains a parade of tuned cars and at the end, special bikes, but eh, was this movie not about vampires. Oh yeah, a special kind of vampires, dwarfs. The only thing that surprised me was the fact that they found that amount of dwarfs. And what about the vampires, well, being a shorty they aren't able to bite you in the neck so they bite your ankle. But when they bite almost no blood flows and no gore is shown. It reminded me a bit of Blade, the storyline but this is the worst kind of movie you will ever see. It's a must see just to believe it, southern rednecks as vampires, man, how many times I touched that fast forward button.

Ax-London I would love to say this was the worst movie I've ever seen but I love 'Worst movie' movies, this is just rubbish. There should have been plenty of scope for something good to come out of a dwarf Southern vampire biker flick even if it was only made for $500... but there really isn't anything redeeming about the film. I can only imagine the $500 was due to the 'Sword' containing the blood of the last tall vampire (or whatever they were on about in that Southern dwarf droll). Not that the sword cost $500, but the guy must have lost $500 out of his back pocket on the way back from the toy shop where he bought the 'Sword'.... either that or the particularly gay looking African American Dwarf Biker Homie vampire borrowed the cash to go and get himself a slightly more hetro looking Dwarf Biker vampire outfit to replace his white vest and pants! The film is just dull from start to finish, boring, poorly shot, immensely poor acting, script..erm..was there one? If you live in the town that gave up a weekend to film this rot then it might be fun to see but then you'd probably already be a member of the HMD trike and Rod Riders of Belton and have seen the premiere during a club meet! OK so I wouldn't normally insult a biker gang but really... they couldn't even be bothered to turn up wearing a 25c pair of plastic fangs each.. and if that's them looking menacing then I'll worry more about the local church coming round for donations!To sum it up this isn't the worst film ever made as candidates for that have some kudos by being so rubbish. This will just make you tired, I've given it three to try and keep the thing out of site of true bottom of the pile hunters!

mlw-worthington Well, what can I say! I'd seen a trailer of this film on another low budget release that my Brother owned, and once I'd seen a Midget Vampire shot at point blank range with a twelve bore, I then knew my true purpose in life. I HAD to own a copy of this film.And so my quest began.........Finally after endless minutes of searching Amazon came up with the goods. At five pounds Sterling, a copy was duly obtained.After what seemed like an endless wait my copy landed on the door mat. I ripped open the packaging, put the disc in the player, cracked open a tin, and sat back to enjoy.For eighty painful minutes I sat aghast at the horror that unfurled before me. Everything about this film is awful, but it's so awful it's hilarious! It reduced me to a tearful mess by the end. This film is crammed full of bad camera work, awful acting and terrible sound, but don't let this put you off. There's plenty of gems in there including some fantastic quotes........"I'm off to the Waffle Shack, to get me a burger" quips the Motorbike Mechanic "Man those burgers taste like pi*s" replies his boss "Yep, that's because Jimmy pi**es in em!" An absolute gem!The films main players are Drexell Vennis, who's a poor copy of Blade! His midget sidekick T Bone, who struggles to deliver the most basic dialogue! John Marcus, Vampire Slayer and Turps Nudger, who shakes like a constipated Jack Russell, and a whole host of vertically challenged half wits and Redneck Bikers.My only gripe is the quote by John Marcus, when he says he's received a tip off about some Vampires down south. He claims that there's "About thirty of em in a nest" Well I only saw six in total, and one of them wasn't a Vampire till about halfway through the film. So I can't help but feel I've been cheated out of twenty four Redneck Dwarf Vampires.The best fiver I've ever spent!