PeachHamBeach The posters and DVD arts project this to be a sexy crime thriller about a female bank or jewel robber or something. Instead, it's a romantic drama with a touch of crime thriller here and there but nothing like what you'd have expected.I don't mind the film for what it is. Beatrice (Bee-Ah-Trich-E) is a lovely Italian woman who has gone the straight after a career as an armed robber. She still keeps in touch with a few of her old friends from that life, but mainly, she has gone straight. I wasn't sure if this film was going anywhere interesting, then it turned into a romantic drama when Beatrice meets a guy named Alan (Jared Harris) who works at a classical radio station by night and teaches young kids in school by day. If you want to appreciate the European art/sex film elements of this film, such as full frontal nudity and wild sex scenes, then it will entertain you in that way for a while, as Beatrice and her new lover struggle with his impotence, bad oysters and getting to know each other.When a friend of B's, played by the luscious Jonathan Rhys-Meyers comes into the scene, suddenly there's an actual 2 way plot going somewhere, but this is not until at least 1/3 or 2/3 into the movie. A very troubled (downright psychotic) kid at Alan's school stabs another child with a pencil, the whole thing turns ugly and suddenly Alan is faced with losing his teaching job. At the same time, B's friend needs her to come out of retirement to help him get some debts cleared up.Asia Argento is a fun actress to watch, even if she's not the greatest actress ever. Still, this film seems to not be able to make up its mind what it wanted to be. It's entertaining in some ways, but not exciting enough for me to recommend.

bob the moo Alan Furnace is a school teacher who's only joy in life is his late-night slot on hospital radio where he can play the light jazz he loves so much. Seeking more excitement in his life, he takes an interest in a collection of people in a local pub who the barman describes as "criminals". Despite this Alan approaches the woman of the group – the sexy and charming Beatrice, but is surprised when she responds to his advances. As he gets to know her, he uncovers a damaged soul with a murky past and dark present that perhaps he would be keep out of; however, as much as he is put off he is drawn in and soon finds himself involved deeper than he had ever planned.I'll be honest and say that I was only drawn to this film by the strange title; other than that I had no idea what it was about but decided to give it a stab anyway. However the film seems to be aiming for a mood rather than a narrative and, as a result, this film is more about the tone and feel and thus it fails to really engage because the story isn't there. Well, there is a story but it comes second to the mood and it isn't well developed, is full of illogical holes that just don't convince and feels like a mishmash of other films' ideas. It is interesting at points but ultimately it doesn't work. The film tries to be seedy and introspective, using smoky rooms, jazz and crime as motivators and the "normal guy" as our way in, but even this doesn't totally work and elements of it failing make it feel like it has all been forced from the start – certainly the choice of the jazz music is way off.However, as the title suggests, the film is more about Beatrice than the other characters and, as such, it is interesting enough even if she isn't as well developed a character as a "character driven film" would usually require. The performance from Argento is good and she has a real sexy presence that is more than just her taking her clothes off for the cameras – it is an aspect of her character that the film uses well. Harris is every bit as bland as the music he plays and he is the reason why I never bought the main relationship once – OK, she's after a "nice guy" but would she go for someone so very bland? The rest of the cast are colourful enough and do OK work with very basic material; Rhys-Meyers is good, Everett does his usual lazy, bi-sexual performance, Hart has a small role and the rest are just basic "East End thug" sorts.Overall this is a film to watch for the sexy, dark presence of Argento and that alone. Outside of her, the narrative is pretty weak and never really convinced me or involved me; the dramatic fireworks come and go without really doing much and by the end I was pretty bored by the whole affair. Argento and some of the support cast make it worth a go but, like Harris and his type of jazz music, this film is consistently bland and uninteresting.

rosscinema This was Michael Radford's first film since "Il Postino" and it's definitely a letdown because Radford is a terrific director. Story is about a woman named B. Monkey (Asia Argento) who moonlights as an armed robber and she works with a couple of drug addicts named Bruno (Jonathan Rhys-Myers) and their father figure Paul (Rupert Everett) and a local gangster named Frank (Tim Woodward) is the one who sets up the scores. One night Bea meets Alan (Jared Harris) who is a school teacher and he asks her out on a date. She accepts and soon she falls in love with him and wants to leave her sordid past behind. Alan gets another teaching job in the country and Bea goes with him and they start to live the quiet life but one day Bea calls Paul and he traces the call back and finds out where she lives. Paul is in serious trouble with Frank and they follow him to where Bea is. One of the main problems with the story is how much Alan puts up with to be with Bea. Her friends are criminals, she was responsible for him losing his job and she displays a pretty bad temper. Maybe it's time to move on, buddy! But the strong point for the film is Argento's performance. She's a very brave actress and it appears that she would do just about anything on camera. There are several scenes in this film that require total nudity and Argento seems very comfortable doing this. Argento is Italian and grew up in Europe and European actress's seem to have a different attitude towards nudity in films. I first noticed Radford's direction in the highly underrated "1984" and also "Dancing at the Blue Iguana". Both of these films along with "Il Postino" are superbly directed but his talent wasn't evident in this film. It's adequately made but besides Argento this was a pretty tepid viewing experience. I had heard rumors that it was heavily edited but I'm not sure thats the problem. The whole film feels flat and labored and really has nothing special to offer. Argento does make it watchable though.

heywood100 *****SOME SPOILERS (as if you care)*****B. Monkey is half serious drama about how the past can catch up with you, half violent, all-out action flick, and the combination of the two just doesn't come off. Mainly due to the film being really quite ridiculous.Beatrice (aka B. Monkey) is a jewel thief. She inexplicably falls head over heels for an extremely boring school teacher called Alan. She quits the crime game and tries to be nice and normal, but her past comes back to haunt her and she's forced to go on one last job. This doesn't please Alan, who whines for a bit. They make up and go and live in the countryside, before that troublesome past resurfaces once again in a climax that is neither thrilling nor touching.None of this is helped by Jared Harris' awful acting as Alan, or a script that bores incessantly and is full of huge, gaping holes. The only thing that saves the film from being a total disaster is Beatrice herself, or to be more precise, Asia Argento. She has more screen presence than everyone else in the film put together, and steals pretty much every scene she's in. When she leaves the screen (such as in the horrible, tacked-on subplot about a young boy who's being abused by his mother), you're left begging for her return. Overall, definitely not worth the effort.