Paul Andrews Bikini Party Massacre starts as six friends, Jeff (writer, producer & director Joseph D. Clark), Jake (Sean Clement), Rick (Phil Jacob who also composed the music), Sandy (Jessica Psaila), Randy (Naomi Vondell) & Mandy (Elizabeth Inns), head off in a people carrier for the isolation & tranquillity of the open country for a weekend away partying in the great outdoors. When they eventually get there they set up some tents & have a great time (even though at this point we, the audience, aren't), well that is until someone or something starts to brutally murder them one-by-one...Written, starring, produced & directed by Joseph D. Clark & also known under the slightly less exploitative than Bikini Party Massacre title of simply Massacre this is a really bad zero budget shot on a digital camcorder Friday the 13th (1980) backwoods type slasher of which there are already loads anyway & quite frankly Bikini Party Massacre is an unwelcome addition to this popular sub-genre. I mean I love a good slasher, I can name lots of slashers which I like which usually get a really bad press including all the Friday th 13th's, The Burning (1980), Scream (1996) & it's sequels, The Dorm that Dripped Blood (1982), There Was a Little Girl (1981) & The Boogeyman (1980) to name but a few off the top of my head & I like to think I'm experienced in the genre & as far as I'm concerned Bikini Party Massacre is an abomination. For a start it's very slow going, it's over an hour before the first victim is killed. Until that that point the entire film seemed of consist of these six highly annoying teenagers driving along a road talking about nothing in particular & one of them having an encounter with a 'witch' for no apparent reason whatsoever & a couple of bizarre dreams that don't seem to have anything to do with anything else. Once the killing starts it's not much better & the entertainment value stays at roughly zero, the kills are lame & despite it's eye-catchingly exploitative title it's actually rather bloodless & far too tame for my liking. The character's are awful, the dialogue is terrible & for the most part doesn't add to or push the story forward at all. Then there's the unbelievable twist ending, now I have to give the filmmakers a bit of credit here because they try to surprise you with an almost good twist, unfortunately it's so ridiculous & so out of place & implausible that I didn't know whether to laugh or cry...Director Clark does nothing to impress, the exploitation levels are low, it looks like it was shot on a digital camcorder, there's lots of annoying film techniques including blurriness, missing frames, slow motion, colour bleed & all the usual annoying MTV stuff. There's no style, no camera tricks, the locations are bland & as a whole the film is poorly made with little regard to continuity. There's no build-up to the kills, there's no tension & no atmosphere either. The gore & violence is disappointing & is far from the 'massacre' promised in it's title, there's the usual amounts of fake blood squirted around but in terms of proper gore effects & bodily mutilation there's next to nothing. There's a fair amount of naked female breasts on show but this doesn't help much.The budget for Bikini Party Massacre must have been low & with that comes certain expectations & I'm as prepared as anyone to cut a low budget film some slack but when it's as bad as this... The acting sucks & I hated the music.Bikini Party Massacre actually had potential to a cool slasher if it hadn't been so boring, if it actually had some proper gore in it & a bit of that 80's slasher film atmosphere because the twist ending if done properly could have been very effective, unfortunately it's none of those things & as it stands it's a load of crap.

Chris Cooper **Contains possible spoilers**OK I love a good B-movie, but this was awful movie all the way around. It is set in present day 3 guys & 3 girls going on a camping getaway weekend. Stupid things in the movie: None of them have cell phones, one jock guy is wearing Daisy Duke cut-offs, none of the movie takes anything they do into consideration for the next scene, i.e. they go swimming one minute then the next it shows them with dry hair, they chug tequila and beers but never seem drunk. It starts out with hardly any dialog. The camera work was just bad from start to finish. The interaction with the 6 people on the trip was just so dumb it was kinda funny. The writing was terrible. Then then a couple of the people have some interesting & creepy dreams, that come to mean nothing. Then as they embark on their camping trip, the van runs out of gas. Then what happens?? The driver (who is also the director) doesn't pull out a cell phone, he pulls out an empty gas can from the back of the van, then instead of walking down the road... he walks through a field into the middle of the woods to find gas without saying anything to anyone in the van!!That's what I would do if I ran out of gas, start walking through the wilderness!! The movie just keeps getting worse and worse. I can only be thankful that I only paid 84 cents to rent this movie.DO NOT WATCH this movie, I have seen thousands of movies & this is in my TOP 3 WORST MOVIES of all time.

admin-148 What did I just watch? This film is definately low budget. However there are some impressive dream sequences and traditional slasher gore scenes. The one liners are hilarious. I walked around campus all weekend using some of the lines to get laughs. This is not an intelligent film. The photography is brutal, but it is more like a movie than the Blair Witch Project. The girls are not that good looking but there are some nudes scenes and the one liners are great. Dont rent this if your looking to be moved. But if you want to get something that is a riot for a bunch of buds, this is great! The chainsaw murder is great. They must of used several hundred gallions of fake blood. And the guys actually get laid for a change. My God! Imagine that! RENT IT! But dont BUY IT!

Katatonia Don't let the name "Bikini Party Massacre" fool you into believing this is a Bikini party movie with a horror edge. This movie has nothing to do with bikinis! This has been released as simply "Massacre" on DVD. The funny thing is that the DVD has several extras including a featurette and commentary...wow, anyone who'd waste their time going through all of that garbage must be nuts.From the look of the box i thought it might be good for a low-budget horror flick. How very, very wrong i was. Now, i like the "so bad they're good" movies (especially horror) but this film is just terrible. I would be surprised if this movie even had a real production budget. I wouldn't even consider this as a "B" movie, more like a "Y" movie.The film barely clocks in at over an hour and it could have been made in much less than 20 minutes as a short film and been mildly entertaining. The sound recording and mix is really pitiful, you can barely understand the dialogue throughout most of it. The picture is decent, but the lighting and camera angles are usually way off. It appears to be shot on digital video...seems like most of the really lame movies these days are no-budget and shot on the cheap format.Very slow and boring, i nearly fell asleep. The first 20 minutes are incredibly slow-paced, so much that you may wish to fast-forward ahead. The plot simply goes nowhere and is quite moronic to begin with. We have one woman who was molested by her father and now sees his ghost, so she has sex with almost any man she sees just to make her father's ghost angry? It is incredibly easy to see what's going to happen next. There are no scares or frights to be found.The gore? I don't know if the director was trying to be funny or what...but the blood in this movie looks like a child was spraying it through a hose onto the victims. Especially the "chainsaw sequence" which seems like pure comedy.Nudity? There is some (both male and female), the few women in the movie aren't all that great looking. So, if you're looking for a "late-night flick" look elsewhere.As for the "Sixth Sense-style" ending (which you have to wait over an hour for the movie to make any true sense of), completely stupid and unbelievable.Avoid this cinematic atrocity by any means necessary!