realityinmind
A bunch of fat cats sat at a long table with their hands clinched together like Mr. Burns... Person #1: "Ladies and gents, there is a huge population of Mexicans in the US that aren't going to the movies because our movies suck! They have money and we want it! What can we do??"
Person #2: "Don't forget that we are in the age of female empowerment... people will pay good money to see a good superhero movie with a female lead!"
Person #3: "We aren't talking about making another superhero movie right now (but we will in just a few minutes). We are talking about making a movie that we can market to Mexicans and to people enamored with female empowerment"
Person #4: "People also love the 80's... because... well, because they were alive during the 80's!"
Person #1: "So we need to make a new movie that Mexicans will like, showcasing female empowerment that appeals to people from the 80's".
Person #3: "Why do we need to make a new movie? This is the Age of Remakes! We have plenty of movies from the 80's that were decent and people love, that we can stretch out like putty and remake that people will go to the theaters and watch simply because they remember watching the original when they were younger!".
Person #5: "Well dang, that's a good idea... why didn't we think of that before, since it is exactly what we are doing with every other movie from the 80's??"
Person #6: "What about a rom-com from the 80's with actors that are no longer relevant?".
Person #2: "ooooh, when I was younger I liked that movie Overboard with Kurt Russell and Gol.."
Person #1: "What? Kurt Russell is definitely relevant! He is a brilliant actor what are you talking about??"
Person #3: "Yeah, but you know what... I don't like Kurt Russell. How has he rocked the same hairdo for so long and increased his fan base? He is a libertarian, which is basically a conservative. And you know how much liberal Hollywood hates conservatives. How dare he have the gall to talk about being a libertarian and not supporting liberalism in Hollywood. Who does he think he is, Kurt Russell!?!"
Person #1: "Exactly. He had a chance to have our backs at the Academy Awards when Meryl Streep went off on Trump! And instead he chooses to stay out of politics and be a conservative in libertarian sheepskin. He's DONE!"
Person #4: "Well I always hear Hollywood talking about how much conservatives hate Mexicans anyways. So this is the perfect chance to get one over on Kurt Russell. Let's take Overboard and remake it with Mexicans! Then Kurt Russell will learn his lesson!"
Person #2: "Oh man, I loved Kurt Russell in tha..."
Person #3: "Shush, it is settled! We are remaking Overboard. But we can't fill it with Mexicans, that is too obvious. How about we make Kurt Russell's character into a Mexican? That'll show him!"
Person #2: "Ummm, I don't think Kurt Russell hates Mexicans. What would that show him?"
Person #5: "I have a better idea. How about we turn his wife into a Mexican? And we make him into a woman!!"
Person #1: "WOW. You just hit the proverbial nail on the head!"
Person #4: "This will make so much money. We take Overboard, a movie everyone loves and no one wants remade, then we replace Kurt Russell's real life wife with a Mexican, and then replace Kurt Russell with a woman!! No one will know that we are secretly out to hurt Kurt Russell's feelings!! This will not only cater to all the Mexicans in the US, but it will also cater to all the people who love female empowerment stuff and also all the people who love the 80's!! BRILLIANT!!!"
Person #1: "So it is settled. Kurt Russell's career will go OVERBOARD! Mwahahaha"Everyone rubs their hands together like Mr. Burns.Before the movie is released in theaters---Person #1: "Everyone hates it! No one wanted the movie remade. Everyone still loves Kurt Russell!! How could this happen??? He is in more movies than ever! What have we done?? We need to hurry up and sell the old Overboard and the new Overboard to Netflix before this all goes down the toilet!!
Person #2: "Well, to be honest, no one actually cares about Anna Farris anymore since Scary Movie 4. And no one knows who this Eugenio Derbez guy is either"
Person #3: "Look, Anna Farris was married to Chris Pratt, but then they got divorced when he publicly announced that he supports Trump. So CLEARLY Anna Farris hates Trump. And Eugenio Derbez has already publicly stated he hates Trump as well. So our cast is full of Trump haters and Mexicans.... how can we lose at the box office?? Anna Farris is a woman... people can't dislike women or they will be racists! There is no way anyone can say anything bad about this movie or they will be racist and homophobic!"
Person #4: "Rotten Tomatoes has given the movie a 23% rating before it even came out! We are ruined!!"
Person #1: "Ok, that's actually not a problem. Rotten Tomatoes can easily be bought out because they support liberal Hollywood and always give bad ratings to movies about conservatism and movies with popular Hollywood Republicans. We simply push the narrative that the movie is filled with Trump haters, Mexicans, female empowerment... all wrapped up in a bubbly rom-com from the 80's that everyone loves! It'll be just like Ghostbusters, but better!"After the movie is released---Person #1: "See!! I told you so! We made over $100 million on the Overboard remake and barely had to pay Anna Farris any money, and Eugenio Derbez produced the movie so he did all the work and every Mexican loves it!!
Person #3: "Rotten Tomatoes fell in line and gave the movie a great rating... almost the same as the original! I knew they would... how bad would they look giving a low rating to an 80's remake filled with Mexicans and female empowerment?!?"
Person #2: "But everyone still loves Kurt Russell...?"
Person #4: "Oh, just wait. JUST WAIT! There are plenty of Kurt Russell movies we can ruin! The Thing..."
Person #5: "Already been done."
Person #2: "Poseidon??"
Person #3: "Shut up, that was the remake and it was horrible."
Person #1: "Do not worry. Kurt Russell will be destroyed. I have here a list of great Kurt Russell movies that we will remake. And it will put an end to Kurt Russell once and for all!
Person #2: "oooh, what movies??"
Person #1: "Escape From New York!"
Person #2: "No way! I love that movie"
Person #1: "Big Trouble in Little China!"
Person #3: "With The Rock?? That will make SO.MUCH.MONEY!"
Person #2: "Oh man I love The Rock!"
Person #1: "Backdraft!"
Person #4: "Wow, we are remaking Backdraft? You sure we want to do that?"
Person #1: "It will be directed by a Mexican!"
Person #5: "BRILLIANT!"
Person #1: "Tango & Cash!"
Person #4: "Ok, that is not going to happen. Stallone wanted Kurt in his Expendables movie and Kurt turned him down because he didn't want to do ensemble acting"
Person #7: "Yeah, but he was in Guardians of the Galaxy, and that's an ensemble if I've ever heard of one"
Person #2: "Who are you dude? You haven't had anything to say all this time."
Person #7: "True, but I am still making money off all of these horrible movies, and I too share a hatred for Kurt Russell!"
ALL PEOPLE: "Aye Aye! Here Here!"
Person #1: "Remember when Walt Disney laid on his death bed, and our fathers stood over him and leaned in closely to his face to try and hear what words he would utter through his last dying breath?"
Person #2: "Oh my God..."
Person #1: "Yes. His last words were..."
Person #4: "Kurt"
Person #5: "Russell"
Person #1: "We will have our vengeance on the man who killed Walt Disney. We will destroy Kurt Rusell!"
emmajanusz
I must admit I was a bit apprehensive after reading some of the reviews here, but now having seen this and the original, I realise when rereading the reviews here that many of them come off as "anti-liberalist" and racist, by which I mean they have no more complaint about the movie than how "PC" it is and how many "mexicans" there are. So if that sounds like something you'd say, this might not be the film for you.However, if the (relative) lack of female objectification and sexual harrassment sounds like something you'd enjoy, this film might be for you! The film feels much less like a film having a laugh at torturing a (rich) woman by making her do woman things she doesn't know how to do, and instead like having a laugh at rich people who don't know how to do ordinary things. The film is a lot less questionable in terms of its content than the original, and honestly, feels more wholesome and family oriented. I can genuinely believe that the main guy learns to love these kids and become a part of their family, and that they love him for that. (I don't buy it so much in the original). The characters all feel real and their goals and desires tangible. The film works best (in my opinion) as a romance-based film, not so much a comedy though. In particular, one of the last few scenes ruined the ending a little as it tried to make a joke that for me fell totally flat *and* ruined some of the romance element.In short, I honestly can't see why people prefer the original over this, this film has so much more heart and love inside it.
