tomscammell I shall not waste my time writing anything much further about how every aspect of this film is indescribably bad. That has been done in great detail already, many times over. The 'plot' started out as a very uninspiring cockney wide-boy/gangster-by-numbers bore and very quickly descended into an utter shambles. Anybody who pretends that they can see some hidden masterpiece inside this awful mess is just kidding themselves. It is now 7 or 8 years since I watched it during its 1 week run at the cinema before it was pulled, yet it sticks in my mind for being easily the most terrible film I have ever seen.I am only making these comments, and indeed the only reason I went to see the film, is because of the amusing fact that my brother Eddie appeared in it as the second 'heavy' in the pub scene. It was his hands that thrust a zippo lighter towards Rhys Ifan's face in the bar in 'Russia' (it was actually filmed at the former Butlins holiday camp at Barry Island). My brother has absolutely no acting experience whatsoever - he had recently joined an extras' agency and this was his first part. Having seen the film, it appeared that nobody in it required any acting experience whatsoever.I remember there were about 8 people in the whole cinema - and this was just a couple of days after it had been released. I have never heard of an other film that was so unpopular and disappeared so fast - and rightly so. In case you were thinking of renting this film on DVD, I would advise you instead to put your two pound coins in a fire until they are red-hot, then jam them into your eye sockets. This will probably be a lot less painful than watching the film.

filmfreak-5 Well, this was definately strange! I might have to watch this film again cause I'm pretty sure I missed something. It offered a lot of mild laughs along the way, it's totally dark humoured, very absurd and suurealistic in many ways...I'm still stunned as so what happenend, cause I'm sure I still see a lot of loose ends - either this film is totally horrible or a stroke of geniousity....I truly hope it is the last mentioned, otherwise it looks gleam for the people behind this flick..Pretty funny to see Rhys Ifans in this flick. I knew I had seen him before, but it wasn't until I looked him up at imdb that I noticed that he was actually the only one lighting up "Notting Hill" with his brilliant performance as Hugh Grants' roommate...?/10

HandyBiteSize ...the first film I had to walk out on. And it was the cast and crew pre-screening (Not that I was involved, I hasten to add). I made it through the first hour, so I reckon I'm just qualified to comment, but that was my limit.Like other comments here, how did this get through any kind of QA. An accumulation of the very worst in dialogue, the epitome of wooden acting, awful casting, all wrapped together without a plot.Tara Fitzgerald's casting was bizarre, almost comic. She possesses the worst Russian accent in movie history.As I left the screening, the director and producers were drinking in a bar outside the cinema. They obviously couldn't sit through it again either.

darren_steven I have seen bad films but this took the p***. Made no sense, and all the characters do is swear every couple of seconds, oh and i think one has a low sperm count. Its that good. A welshman plays a sweary cockney. A posh english bloke plays a foul mouthed unlovable rogue of a paddy, and some lesser lights play dim tarts.And there are some Russian gangsters. Oh yes some one has a gun and maybe talks rubbish whilst high on drugs.Avoid this film like the plague.