dallon this movie rules more than buttheads will like to admit. It starts out being incredibly confusing, then you kind of figure out whats going on, then figure out you were toad-ally wrong. the highlight of the film was a man standing in a closet, falling on a box of spilled marbles. THIS IS AN AWESOME MOVIE! even though lame-os will whine about the name not making any sense, that's part of why it's so awesome. The name kind of makes sense anyway, i'll bet that half the people who hate this movie didn't make it through the first hour. They said, "THIS MOVIE SUCKS" and then turned it off long before it was over, and started to make any sense. besides, there's a picture of a girl with a huge butt on the cover, what more could you want?!?!?!?

reptilicus Gadzooks, I wasted 97 minutes of my life watching this? For the first half hour you get drawn into what you think is a remake of the 1969 movie GAMES, but then it switches tracks and becomes a murder plot by an unhappily married wife against her rich and eccentric to the point of completely weird husband (he imitates Beethoven, Hamlet, and Toulouse-Lautrec to name only three). Sadly the murder for profit part is, to say the least, predictable.I can see why the people at Trauma Films . . .er . . .excuse me, I mean Troma Films picked it up. Personally I would rather watch anything done by Harry Novak (yes and I am including AXE and THE CHILD in that group) or even Bill Rebane (give me THE GIANT SPIDER INVASION or even RANA, LEGEND OF SHADOW LAKE any day).

Access Sanctuary What a day. Paul is knocked out by two ugly guards in trench coats. He wakes to find himself in the parlor of a strange house/mansion. As he searches the house, he stumbles upon a bland, clueless blonde who knows more about him than he's comfortable with. Then he's summoned to dinner by what is obviously a man in drag. At dinner, Roberta proposes Paul make love to Stephanie while she watches. This is just too much and Paul tries to make an escape. When he returns to the table, he is spooked to see Roberta has vanished (reason enough to be spooked in any TROMA film). Paul and Stephanie formulate a plan and try to escape from Roberta's evil clutches. Just as they think they've gotten away, they both become equally interested in each other and unknowingly Roberta's watching them. They are taken captive once again by Roberta but as it turns out Roberta just wants Paul to make love to her. Paul is not about to 'do' such an ugly 'chick' but as Roberta commands for the murder of Stephanie, she persuades Paul to see things her way. Now that Roberta finally gets what she wants, what happens but she calls out, "I don't have to go through with this do I? You said it would stop here?"And in response: the panicked Stephanie who is cramped in a maiden (the torture device used in Scotland) suddenly cocks her head back and with a devilish grin replies, "So I did. You can stop now Roberta, darling." Robert takes off his wig and all goes back to normal. So, what is normal you ask? Stephanie is Casey and Paul is Jared. A married, rich couple who engage in eccentric historical 'games' with a kinky and deadly twist, as Casey rehashes in confrontation with her husband. But normal for Casey is not waking in the night to find Robert lurking around in her house, hoping to find some more filthy money. The two come up with their own plan to kill Jared, hide his body, and split his money once he can be declared legally dead. But somebody's playing for keeps, and in this game, everyone loses. Intriguing and imaginatively written. But, unfortunately the production is poor and the cast is collectively less than motivated. Though I would have to say M. R. Murphy did turn in a stunningly captivating performance as the drag-queen, Roberta. Best scene in the movie (got me and my friends cracking up so hard): the close-up shot of Roberta at the table as he says, "Yes, my pet. I like to watch," in a very squeaky and creepy tone. I recommend this movie because it's very much unlike TROMA's gross-out flicks and because it's pretty good in it's so-bad kind of way. The '80's doesn't get any cheesier than this! 'Gag me with a spoon'.

Doug Galecawitz This movie is so bad it makes Police Academy 6 look like Citizen Kane. There isn't one single good thing about it. Bad dialogue, deathly bad acting, horrendous camera work, terrible writing, a lame and pointless plot, not so special effects, unbearably bad pacing, shoddy directing, etc.... The title makes no sense with the movie but I guess you can't name a movie "Piece Of S**t" That is exactly what this movie is. > It's long and very boring. It doesn't even fit any category of movie: Action? What action? It's slow and meandering. Drama? I personally see more drama in a Hagar The Horrible comic strip. SciFi? Not with these lousy effects. Horror? I've coughed up scarier crap. Suspense? Romance? No it's just bad. This movie is so bad it gives me new insight into the depths of human depravity and makes me lose all hope for the human species all together. Who put this movie together? Who paid for it? Who thought it sounded good? Why did people actually waste the time of day making it? Why are they not ritualistically beheaded for the benefit of all mankind? If this is what people find entertaining then we are surely doomed to a bleak existence. If there truly was a GOd he would never have allowed it to go this far. I guess what I'm trying to say is that I feel cheated out of the 50 cents I paid to rent this. This is my flag to warn all of humanity to stay away from a movie so bad it escapes any term the English language has to describe it. It took me seven tries to watch it all the way through because I continually fell asleep throughout it. Each part I watched I hoped would redeem it and each time I was let down by subpar performance. They couldn't even get a decent looking female lead to make up for the movies numerous gaping inadequacies. I'm currently now enrolled in a 12 step program to help recover from the paralyzing effects of this the worst of all movies. With patience maybe one day I can rent movies without fear again.