Wuchak RELEASED IN 2015 and written & directed by DeShon Hardy, "The Lake on Clinton Road" chronicles events at the titular lake in remote New Jersey when three college couples go to a vacation home to celebrate. Things go horrible awry when they discover that the rumors of the lake being haunted are real. The low ratings & reviews are inaccurate because this is a cogent cabin-in-the-woods flick. While it may be a low-budget indie with a no-name cast, the acting is convincing and the creepiness & scares are genuine. Moreover, the score is effective (with the soundtrack throwing in some rap sheet). The six youths travel to their isolated destination in typical celebration mode, but their frivolity palpably changes by the second half. People complain that they're an obnoxious bunch, but that's not true. They're just young adults out celebrating. So what? We've all done it. The two football guys (Richard Ryker & Anthony Grant) are great masculine role models, disregarding the customary cussing. They have good camaraderie, treat their women well, and don't abuse the chubby white guy, their amusing pal. Ryker is particularly a strong masculine protagonist. Speaking of the women, the director has a good eye for depicting feminine beauty without getting too tasteless. Leah Jones is mind-blowingly voluptuous while petite brunette Stephanie Marrone ain't no slouch; nor is the black girl for that matter (India Autry). The bottom line is: The movie works well for what it is. It contains all the requisite staples and works them expertly into an entertaining brew. I'd watch this any day over the cartoonish "The Evil Dead" (1981), the over-the-top comical "Evil Dead II" (1987), the trashy "Cabin Fever" (2002), the lame "Zombeavers" (2014) or the too-creative-for-its-own-good "Cabin in the Woods" (2012).There's a curiously overlong epilogue tacked-on after the end credits that's at least three times as long as it needed to be. I think the director just wanted to give some screen time to the two 12 year-old girls in the back seat, who are probably related to him. In any case, it shows a fresh group of giddy youths just before they're humbled big time; humbled or dead, whatever. THE MOVIE RUNS 1 hour, 20 minutes and was shot in Marlton, New Jersey & Bellefonte, Pennsylvania. GRADE: B+

Nigel P The term exploitation has been used to lump together softcore horror films, mainly from Europe during the 1960s and 1970s, although Hammer also became bitten by the bug in its latter years. Now, we feel we have progressed so smoothly that the term isn't used any more. And that's because such a titillating way of teasing the audience with choreographed sexuality has become the norm. Here, we have the dreaded 'group of friends', one celebrating a birthday, who go looking for a beach house and instead discover The Lake House. As one character, superficially hard-to-please Stacey (India Autry) says, "A beach house needs to have a beach." The reply, "Yeah, I got that memo." The friends here are the usual stylised, buff bodied, greased back, laconic, horny collection torpidly passed off as 'normal'. Teens of indiscriminate age whose idea of a really good put-down is to say accusingly "You let me work out on my own today." To break the perfect collective, there is a moderately over-weight guy who 'gets by' by constantly making apologetic weight jokes to justify his inclusion.The story: years ago, a young boy was drowned in the lake on Clinton Road and may be haunting the Lake House. As nothing in particular happens, these forever wholesomely tattooed 24-hour party people fill the running time by having cosmetic arguments, only to later reward each other with themselves. When one of their number – Jillian (Leah Jones) - threatens to tarnish the perfect party bubble by not feeling well, a lethargy sweeps across the ensemble. After a while, they no longer even have the energy to twerk (dance to popular music in a sexually provocative manner involving thrusting hip movements and a low, squatting stance).Away from the sporty birthday revellers, the location is, as is often the case, a blessed relief. Scenic, expansive and remote-looking enough to convince of sinister goings-on far away enough from society to be, in theory, moderately effective. You'd hope. Still, the mood slithers from high-spirited party action to posture and ponder-meant now things aren't quite excellent anymore. When one sleek bodied seductress disappears – you know, the one who wasn't feeling well – the reaction from the others is minimal. A manly hand-slap and they continue as before. Camaraderie for those left behind, whilst the birthday boy laments his suddenly imperfect celebrations."I ain't scared of s**t. That's white people's s**t. Coloured people don't do ghosts." Pure poetry.Without listing further non-eventful contrivances, 'Lake House' proves to be an excruciating and anaemic haunting effort with a little scary music interrupting the rap beats and lead-ups to sex scenes that don't happen. A little high-speed body-distortion (owing a lot to various exorcism films) and that's your lot as far as 'scares' are concerned. Suddenly, the inclusion of some uplifting music alerts us to the fact the film is ending. But wait! A post-credits sequence features desperately overlong web-cam footage of another car full (of what appear to be four twelve-year olds driving to Clinton Road, mocking the existence of any haunting. This scene seems to go on forever. For a lead-up to any threatened sequel, it spends its entire duration overstaying its welcome). It's difficult to know how an audience is supposed to react to this film, if at all, but who cares? Horrifying, for all the wrong reasons.

dragoneye1890 It asked if I was gonna give spoilers but there is nothing to spoil. I got this movie because I thought it was gonna be at least a D+ from the trailer, turned out to be an F. No plot, no character development; I don't know hat was worse: the acting or the writing; even the scares were non existent. Was this wanna be porno turned into a movie? at least the characters were hot!!!! This movie might have gotten a 3 if all of the girls were topless for at least half of the movie. We left this movie on b/c it was so bad that it was good bad....actually to think about it; was being bad the intent of this movie? If you watch this movie, know its going to be bad and run with it. If you don't keep it on great! I'm from NJ, actually 20 minutes away, Clinton road is way scarier!!

areadingwoman Simply terrible. NO other way to describe it. I tend to enjoy B horror movies so I had higher expectations of this movie while knowing what to expect from a low-budget film. This movie was simply awful. All of the actors suffered from varying degrees of amnesia when it came to knowing how to actually act. Despite every character being a part of a couple, when their girlfriend/boyfriends would disappear (as inevitably happens in a horror flick), no one seemed to care. At all. Which was difficult to get past. The "haunting" was never really explained or, honestly, developed. The sound was so poorly done that with my TV at full sound it was still hard to hear. And the plot? Well, instead of genuine scares and plot development, we see a variety of sex, drinking, and gratuitous twerking in the first half of the film when things are fine (at least it saves us from dialogue, but it's still not entertaining). in the second half, when things aren't so great, we see a variety of people working out. Seriously, these people are so fit that they somehow work out the morning after heavy drinking and whenever they get stressed. So basically, you get to watch a sizable chunk of a "horror" flick but it's really more like watching a film on exercise voyeurism.