Wrong Side of Town

2010 "Who Wants To Die First?"
Wrong Side of Town
3.8| 1h28m| R| en| More Info
Released: 23 February 2010 Released
Producted By: Films In Motion
Country: United States of America
Budget: 0
Revenue: 0
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Synopsis

Ex-Navy Seal Bobby Kalinowski lives a quiet, peaceful life as a landscape architect in an LA suburb with his wife Dawn and 16 year old daughter Brianna. Tonight they are invited out for an evening on the town by new neighbors clay and Elise Freeman to a happening club downtown. Little did they know that this would be the start of a life or death ordeal for the group.

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adonis98-743-186503 In order to save his kidnapped daughter, an ex-Marine is forced to take on a gang of killers when an accident leaves the brother of a malicious criminal dead. Wrong Side of Town is not the film that you expected it was going to be or even a memorable plus Stormy Daniels is even in it for some reason. Rob Van Damme tries a bit too hard and Bautista was hardly in it so don't really waste your good money and time with this one. If you wanna see a good film with Bautista in it go and watch him as Drax in GOTG Vol. 1 and 2 but also in Infinity War. (0/10)
David MacAffer ...what? WHAT IS THIS? I was completely engrossed by how amazing this movie was. Amazingly terribad. Like the other reviews say, if you are looking for a comedy then look no further, this is beyond bad in every way imaginable. Much has been written about Rob Van Dam's wooden acting but give him some credit, every single person involved in this film could have been recruited from the crowd at a UFC or Nascar event.The plot is hilarious, the entire thing is set up within what feels like seconds of the start of the film: 'oh hi you're our new neighbours don't even unpack just come to this club with us, oh no within minutes you have accidentally killed the generic crime lord's brother, a 19 year old played by a 40 year old who later confusingly turns out to be the crime lord's son after all'. There's a fence sitting 'corrupt cop' who is twice greeted by the same piece of dialogue; either someone didn't read the script or they thought it was particularly meaningful (it was not). The neighbour character is set up as a cowardly, sycophantic wine dealer (yes really) whose wife is clearly knocking boots with the antagonist, something which is never elaborated on as both characters are written out of the film two thirds of the way through. It would be nice to think whoever casted this giant turd was trying to defy the Hollywood convention of beauty over substance by choosing a gristly middle aged woman to play RVD's wife, but by the end of the film you can literally smell the regret at casting Lara Grice (presumably a budget-saving measure), and she is gleefully replaced as the love interest by RVD's on screen daughter who is much easier on the eye and the worst actor out of the lot. It can only be assumed that as the credits roll they are in the dumpster where he hid her earlier feverishly making incestuous love; I'm not even sure he bothered to untie his piggish wife before he left the house.Throughout the film Van Dam is either driving or hobbling around the city at night when gangs of camp, 80's style street hoodlums appear swinging chains, chewing gum, wearing leather vests and headbands, carrying boomboxes, driving motorbikes and standing in front of flaming oil drums. You often expect them to challenge him to a dance off. What happens next on these occasions must rank amongst the most poorly choreographed screen violence ever committed to celluloid. It's not even choreographed. No more than one punch, kick, gunshot, knife swing, throw, cuddle or obligatory pro-wrestling armbar is stringed together at a time. Rob Van Dam moves like a wheel chair ridden, diabetic man who weighs half a ton. He throws an unconvincing elbow in his glittery t-shirt and we cut sloppily to an unconvincing tackle, then an unconvincing punch. In fact, not only the fight scenes suffer from this seemingly random editing. The entire picture gives off the impression that they only took 15 minutes of footage and spent six months trying to fill in the blanks with extras and recuts.The acting is woeful; it is almost as if they decided professional wrestlers have enough acting experience to improvise the dialogue at times. The script couldn't even manage to be good enough to be generic; it's full of holes, inconsistencies, pointless deviations, dud characters and dialogue so unrelatable it could have been written by an autistic dog. The production is shoddier than almost anything I've ever seen; there are youtube videos directed better than this stinker, there are twelve year olds with a mobile phone camera and a movie editing package who display more technical proficiency and vision than David DeFalco.This is literally one of the worst things I've ever seen. There is a scene where two wrestlers are 'grappling' with their awful dialogue over a table, and there is a woman sat there with her tits hanging out of her bra. Why are they out? Why doesn't she put them away? Why wouldn't she just take her bra off? Why didn't I turn this movie off? Just like her chest, this film was a car crash I couldn't keep my eyes off.
matymil The plot is predictable and the acting is grade school but honestly what do you expect from a straight to DVD staring RVD? RVD's acting is not nearly as bad as I thought it would be and Batista's character is freakin awesome. "Who wants to die first?" Whoever the actress is that plays RVD's daughter is the worst by far. The main bad guy seriously looks like he is being played by Howie Mandel's brother. Also the cameo by King Mable is pretty funny. One thing that I did like about this movie is that is stays fairly realistic. There's no over the top action scenes or backflip kicks (Karate Kid). This movie is what is it; a low budget action flick but at least its watchable. I hope you weren't expecting Scarface.
Dante This movie appeals mainly to macho meat head types, but is actually quite funny and entertaining in a B-movie way. If you're a B-move fan like me, you'll probably like it. Otherwise you probably won't. The dialog reminded me of an 80's or early 90's cheesy action movie. It felt like watching something along the lines of kick boxer 2. It's too bad Ja Rule wasn't in the movie longer, because he's actually a pretty talented actor. The fight scenes could have been better, but some of the stunts and the showdown on the bridge were pretty good. They throw some random jokes in here and there which are actually pretty funny and remind the viewer not to take the movie all that seriously. RVD's acting wasn't that great, but it was tolerable. Batista's acting was convincing, and i liked RVD's foxy daughter. overall, the movie is predictable and simple, but entertaining in it's own special way - plenty of cursing, fighting, cheesy action, girls, and boobs. Watch it with a group of friends, some munchies, and a case of beer.