Leofwine_draca ABRAXAS, GUARDIAN OF THE UNIVERSE is a completely cheesy B-movie version of THE TERMINATOR, made with a tongue so far in cheek that it's at risk of being swallowed. It's poorly shot and stupidly made on a tiny budget, shot in darkness for the most part to hide the paucity of it all. A cameo from James Belushi is about as mainstream as it gets. Don't expect much in the way of action or effects as the budget doesn't really stretch that far. Man-mountain Sven-Ole Thorsen does his best Schwarzenegger impression as a renegade alien who arrives on Earth and impregnates a woman, setting a path of destruction in order. He's the least imposing bad guy ever. Jesse Ventura, complete with awful bald hair cut, is the ultra-wooden hero. It's really not worth your time.

Rainey Dawn Most of the time action films are overrun with way too much action for my tastes but this film doesn't have a lot of action - it's more or less a lot of talk. I tried watching this movie - about the first 10 minutes of it then hit the fast-forward button to watch it that way... and all I really saw was a bunch of talk that looked as boring as what I did see. I'm sorry but the beginning of the film bored me to tears that's why I hit the fast-forward button. This is another film I got from the Sci-Fi Invasion 50-Pack and another I'll add to my Garbage Film List. I'm not big on action films, there are a handful of them I like just fine, but the bulk of action films I'm not overly fond of - this film is one of them.1/10

bensonmum2 There are a lot of bad movies, but there's only one Abraxas, Guardian of the Universe. If you want poor acting, a nonsensical plot, unbelievably low quality sound recording/editing, a pointless Jim Belushi cameo, and inappropriate soft jazz, Abraxas is the movie you've been looking for.Abraxas stars Jesse Ventura in the title role. While I enjoyed his work in movies like The Predator, he seems wholly incapable of carrying a movie on his own. He's joined by Sven-Ole Thorsen - Arnold Schwarzenegger's old buddy. A large chunk of the movie is devoted to these two guys chasing each other through the woods and mindlessly beating on each other. The third main member of the cast is Marjorie Bransfield. I'll be incredibly nice and call her performance bland.The plot is so ridiculous, it's barely worth mentioning. Abraxas is some sort of space cop called a finder who is chasing his former partner, Secundus. Secundus has come to Earth to find a suitable mate to bear his child. His offspring will be the Comater and have knowledge of the Anti-Life Equation. Secundus finds a female, impregnates her with a hand to the belly, and the baby (or Comater) is born within a few minutes. Abraxas catches up with Secundus and sends him to a penal planet. Five years later, Secundus escapes prison and heads back to Earth (with Abraxas hot on his heels) to retrieve the Comater so he might gain the power derived from the Anti-Life Equation. I'll stop there. This is all so pointless.I've always said that I rate movies based on entertainment. Abraxas is a test of that statement. It's a bad movie based on anyone's definition. It's totally ridiculous, stupid, and incompetently made - but it's fun. Despite the many obvious flaws, I was entertained. A qualified 7/10 from me.

Comeuppance Reviews Jesse Ventura, at a point in his career when his nickname was transitioning from "The Body" to "The Mind" and he had yet to go off the rails as a batty conspiracy theorist, plays Abraxas, an 11, 862 year old Finder. What's a Finder you ask? Well, they are the "cops of the universe" - alien beings sent around the galaxy to police things. When the evil Secundas impregnates Sonia Murray (Bransfield) with a child, Tommy (Mitchell), with the goal of obtaining the "anti-life equation", Abraxas' superiors tell him to eliminate them. But Abraxas develops feelings for the woman and boy so he decides to battle Secundas instead. This all occurs in a small "New York" town , Thornbury (actually in Ontario, Canada) patrolled by two cops, one of which has an inexplicable Uzi. Will Abraxas prevail? Or will the world be destroyed? The plot is lifted wholesale from The Terminator (1984), and the bleak direction by director Lee and reminders of American Cyborg: Steel Warrior (1993) are the least of this movie's problems. Abraxas is a really funny movie, as the two meatheads battle it out for the "Komader" (?) and there are many nonsensical moments and hilarious line readings. The most memorable occurs when Abraxas intones "Run Tommy RUUUUUNNN!" and the disturbing moment when Tommy enters his bedroom only to find, with zero setup, a shirtless Ventura in his bed saying "Want me to read you a story?" All this is overseen by what we called "The Exposition Brothers" - Abraxas' commanders Hite (Levitan) and Dar (Lee) who stand in one position and explain plot points.Interestingly, James Belushi REPRISES his role as Principal Latimer from The Principal! According to IMDb, he did this cameo as a favor to his then-wife Bransfield. Wait. He's supposed to be the same guy? That's just odd. Despite his brief screen time, his face is featured prominently on the back of the Prism VHS box.Tommy and his fellow kid actors are amusing, Ventura looks ridiculous wearing ill-fitting sweatshirts and World Gym attire as he talks into his bracelet, and the role of Secundas should have been played by Schwarzenegger, but perhaps that would be a bit too on the nose. But did they have to remind viewers of the similarities by hiring a man with a similar accent? Still, this is Thorsen's crowning achievement, much better than as Darcona in Lee's Fatal Combat (1997). Add to the fact that the whole movie is like a sci-fi version of Maury ("you ARE the father!!!") and the fact that Abraxas is not, technically, the "guardian of the universe" as is claimed, and top it all off with some truly cheesy FX, and you have an entertaining night of VHS fun.Silly in every way imaginable, it's hard to imagine the filmmakers not realizing how funny this was as they were making it. Luckily it's out there for the world to see so we advise you to check it out.for more insanity, please visit: comeuppancereviews.com