Heislegend Being a glutton for punishment (apparently) I still find myself sitting down to watch Asylum movies from time to time. I know it's a mistake. I know it won't be good. I guess I just have to see if it's at least not as bad as the last one. The problem is that it's usually just as bad or worse. Such is the case with Death Valley (and yes, I'm not going for the full title...this movie doesn't deserve it).A big reason I popped this in my DVD player is that on the back of the box it proudly proclaims the movie to be "One of the best zombie movies in the last 10 years!" and I had to know exactly how wrong that was. It's so wrong, in fact, that it would be hilarious if it weren't so bad. The quote isn't even attributed to anyone if that gives you any idea what a load of BS it is.The movie itself has decent production values for a modern zombie movie (which is actually a bit surprising) but it's the same old pseudo-western-meets-zombies-in-a-possibly-parallel-dimension story. Wait...have we seen that before? Even if the answer is no, you'll feel like you've seen this a thousand times before. I particularly enjoyed the fact that whenever someone talks more about the legend of Bloody Bill the whole tone of the dialog changes and they start using words and phrases normal people don't use in everyday conversation to make it sound more dramatic.I guess you could watch this as an alternative to a root canal...but that's even a bit of a toss up. There's a lot of much more capable zombie movies out there that do way more for way less. Save yourself the time and the desire to pour rubbing alcohol into your eyes.

Tom Willett (yonhope) The music was done with a jackhammer and a chainsaw. I think the chorus was on strike so they used leaf blowers. Turn the sound way down and muddle through. If you miss any dialog you will not be missing anything. Terrible background music.The movie has a decent plot. The actors are attractive and they are able to act well enough. The direction and editing are poopy. There are too many shots that try to be artsy like the hilltop sunset scene from Gone With The Wind. There are a few good scenes from time to time.There are some good plot turns. Not many. You can count them on the fingers that get chewed off along the way. this is not a good Western and not a good Zombie Movie. It also fails as a Musical, big time.This one does not have a "Kill da wabbitt" moment. It bounces here and there in a way that suggests the script blew away in the wind and someone forgot to number the pages so they picked up each page and filmed it and stuck it together.It is not horrible. It is watchable. The actors are good and should have been given a better film to work with. This could have been a grade A film in the right hands with a different director and editor and some OK mood music here and there.

slayrrr666 "Death Valley: The Revenge of Bloody Bill" isn't all that bad of a zombie film, with a few flaws.**SPOILERS**Taking a trip to the desert, Gwen, (Chelsea Jean) Buck, (Steven Glinn) Sondra, (Kandis Erickson) Avery, (Scott Carson) Mandy, (Denise Boutte) and Coach Jerry, (Matt Marraccini) to win a National Debate tournament. Picking up stranded hitchhiker Earl, (Gregory Bastien) who ends up kidnapping the group and drags them to the deserted Wild West town of Sunset Valley. Knowing the legend of Bloody Bill, (Jeremy Bouvet) originates from the town, they become weary of entering but are forced to due to their quest for help. Recalling his story as a Union soldier who left the town in fear and panic, the residents of the town soon emerge as bloodthirsty zombies and set upon the gang. Realizing the true reason why they were brought to the town, they learn to trust each other in order to escape the blood-thirsty mob and it's villainous leader.The Good News: This is a pretty above-average zombie film. This here manages to do the one good thing of managing to give the zombies a lot of screen-time here. There's hardly any let-up once they show up for the first time and are at the very least the topic of discussion whenever not on-screen. This here makes the film incredibly fast-paced, always moving forward from one confrontation to another. This one manages to get a large amount of action in, including assaults in the saloon, the main square, and the entire sequence inside the hotel. That's filled with several big scenes that are quite action-packed and really manage to get new moves into it. The relentlessness also manages to give it a really healthy body count here as well. That allows plenty of over-the-top deaths. There's a brutal flesh-ripped-off-cheek, an ax in the back of the head, facial skin ripped clean off, a series of stabbings with a variety of objects, a couple of graphic dismemberments and a huge gaggle of bites and rips throughout that result in huge amounts of blood-loss. There's much more as well, including the non-lethal wounds and all the injuries inflicted on the zombies. There's too much to count, as there's plenty of zombies that bite the dust. The zombies themselves look great, freshly bloody and full of wounds and scars that cover their entire body. With their appearance being quite freaky, they get a lot out of their shock show-ups more-so than others, and these make for great ones at that. The last big positive is that there's actually a main zombie involved in the action throughout that controls the others rather than facing the army. Quite innovative and really helps to put the film over more than it should.The Bad News: There are only few things wrong with this one. The biggest flaw is the running zombies in the film. These aren't scary in the slightest way possible, inspire fear in no one and are such a travesty to the genre that it needs to be driven away as quickly as possible. A zombie isn't scary because it can catch you, it's scary because there's a huge swarming mass that can get you when you least expect it. The fact that this one even has them going so far as to speak is an even bigger flaw than the running factor, which will be the real reason why this one falters. Combined, they're enough to knock the film down some. The only other flaw is that there's a couple of really big stretches in here that are hard to believe. The reanimation of a family member, the curse of the town for no reason and several other incredibly familiar plot-devices show up in here that have now become cliché, and their being trotted out may strike some as nothing new.The Final Verdict: Packed with action and gore but containing some of the most un-scary creatures around, this one is a tough call to zombie purists. The action factor may win over some, so give it a fair shot for completists, and for those that can't overlook the main flaws with the creatures, then seek caution with it.Rated R: Graphic Language and Graphic Violence

BA_Harrison A group of teens (on their way to a debating competition) are taken hostage by a drug dealer who is looking for his partner in crime. They are forced to drive to the dilapidated ghost-town of Sunset Valley. Here they are attacked by a load of zombies, led by the evil Bloody Bill, a Confederate soldier seeking revenge for the deaths of himself and his sister.Byron Werner, the 'director' of this crap-fest, has definitely got ideas above his station. Instead of accepting that he's helming a low budget horror film, he goes all 'Tony Scott' on us and uses annoying directorial and editing techniques to excess: bleached out film stock, staccato editing, wobbly camera-work, coloured filters. This isn't art, Byron... neither is it a music video... it's schlock horror, so cut out the pretentious film-making and start off by learning how to tell a story!The plot is a weak derivative mixture of elements from H.G. Lewis' 2000 Maniacs and Romero's Night of the Living Dead, without an ounce of the charm of either of these classics. The annoying teens are portrayed by a talentless bunch of nobodies and they deliver their lines as though reading off a board. The awful script is clichéd drivel, with dreadful dialogue and absolutely no logic. Hell, it even has the teens debating with each other whilst under attack from the living dead!The 'special effects' are also lousy; the zombie makeup is extremely amateurish and the gore content is fairly low. Even the zombie extras are bad: they shuffle in a variety of unconvincing manners—some fast, some slow, and, I'm convinced, some with grins on their faces.I'm a great fan of zombie films and usually cut even the worst efforts some slack if they deliver ample blood 'n' guts, but Death Valley: The Revenge of Bloody Bill fails even with this simple task and receives the lowest possible rating from me.