Gladiatress

2004 "Does my gluteus maximus look big in this?"
Gladiatress
4.2| 1h29m| en| More Info
Released: 19 August 2004 Released
Producted By: Mission Pictures
Country: United Kingdom
Budget: 0
Revenue: 0
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Synopsis

Three unlikely heroines set out to thwart a Roman invasion and save Celtic Britain in their own unique and outrageous style.

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Reviews

unbrokenmetal The idiotic cover almost stopped me from watching the movie, because it seemed to indicate this could be moronic rubbish like "Meet the Spartans" again, but fortunately it's something completely different. First, they really got their historical background right. The explanation how the Romans could conquer Gallia and Britannia - not simply by brute force, but let proxies fight their wars for them and fight tribes separately which were enemies of each other - is given better than in most serious movies about that period. Asking the question "were some slaves actually satisfied with their primitive life without any rights"? like Worthaboutapig is probably more realistic than the heroic rebels of Spartacus movies, since Spartacus was the exception not the rule when it comes to self-sacrifice, but it's all quite politically incorrect to ask, I bet.This is one of the funniest movies I've watched in the last couple of years. It's dominated by three women who fight against all odds ("I must warn you, I'm a Celtic warrior princess. I can kill a man in 17 different ways. 18, if you include cooking") which is of course unusual in the genre but works extremely well since their characters are so extremely different. Hide the DVD from your girlfriend, though, it may give her ideas...
chatfan This is a very funny movie. Just finished watching it and can only say I was pleasantly surprised. It is full of little jokes, but unlike the moronic "meet the Spartans", these jokes are clever. Typical English wordplay and silly modern day parallels and plays on pretty much every cultural stereotype. It seems like this movie is full of strong fun roles for women and the guys just don't really count. Italians speaka lika da pizzamanna.. its actually funny to see in a movie like this and Celtic warrior women looking for love in a very "special" way.Considering the crap thats been coming out of Hollywood and labeled "comedy" its hard to imagine this one got overlooked.
Martin (imbd-114) This movie is awful, don't waist a perfectly good disc and the time to watch this please ! OK, so I got misled by the cover, featuring one of the three sisters, in a Gladiatress outfit... Which she never wares, not even a second! So don't fall for that one. Then there's a very thin story about three sisters. The oldest one is the most normal (and 'cute') one and about to become queen of some country in the UK. (We're talking Caesar-era here). Then there is the stupid blond sister, and the savage, abandoned sister. The about-to-become-queen gets kidnapped by the Romans, so the stupid one is sent out to save her. Se gets the savage sister to come with her and... that's about it. There are a few minutes of 'gladiatress' action, that isn't funny, exciting or sexy at all. So this movie totally missed it if you ask me..
gargoylejah At this this film was TRYING to be funny! OK, OK so it isn't a masterpiece of comedic cinematography...but, as an archaeologist, there were some rather chucklicious moments! The warrior-sister's moral conundrum (how can she go back to slaughtering people and chopping off their heads after she's had children?!) was brilliant...especially with the advice from the Pictish couple (complete with tattoos and severed heads around their necks!).The film actually surpassed the great, lumbering fiasco Gladiator and Troy in its accuracy of the costume, settlements, etc. Heck, they even got the British Iron Age Tribal names right! It helped that most of the Celtic scenes were filmed at Butser Ancient Farm. The only really serious faux pas in that arena were the Roman legionaries' equipment...jeeez, if they really borrowed props from Gladiator, you would have thought they could have scored a few accurate suits of armour! That said, I thought the depiction of the smarmy, effeminate Romans was excellent! You could almost HEAR Eddie Izzard lilting "Helloooo.....we are the Romans! Yes, we are!" Bottom line...don't go into this film expecting to laugh your arse off...but it is worthy of a few grins and snickers.