Horst in Translation ([email protected])
This is a recurring joke in "Hardware Wars", a "Star Wars" fan film made shortly after the original over 35 years ago. It was written and directed by Ernie Fosselius, a fairly successful sound artist, who made parodies on other films as well, such as "Apocalype Now". This 13-minute movie did not appeal to me much, then again I am not the biggest "Star Wars" fan, which may very well be the reason. The humour is action-based and dialogue-based, but rarely funny. There are references on "The Wizard of Oz" and "Sesame Street" in here too. All in all, I was not impressed by this little movie. Actually surprised to see it so appreciated and famous. I myself have no intention to watch it ever again. Thumbs down.
Woodyanders
Done on a spare change budget of twenty bucks tops, this cheapie thirteen minute short cheerfully parodies George Lucas' legendary '77 sci-fi blockbuster "Star Wars" in the most infectiously dumb way imaginable. Writer/director Ernie Fosselius delivers a winning and often gut-busting blend of ludicrous sound effects, ineptly staged action scenes, cruddy (far from) special effects (you just gotta love the cheesy scratched-on-film lasers, tinfoil asteroids, and household appliances ... eer, I mean spaceships being swung around on obvious wires), badly dubbed in dialogue, shamelessly hammy acting, and Richard Wagner's rousing piece of classical music "Ride of the Valkyries." The characters are presented in suitably broad strokes; my favorites are whiny wimp Fluke Starbucker, venerable Jedi knight Auggie "Ben" Doggie, and hateful arch villain Darph Nader (who spouts nothing but incomprehensible gibberish). Moreover, 4-Q-3 is clearly based on the Tin Man from "The Wizard of Oz" while Artie Deco is definitely a cheap vacuum cleaner. This film's true masterstroke is casting legendary voice actor supreme Paul Frees as the narrator; Frees' deliciously rich and plummy histrionic tones add immensely to the considerable silly, yet sidesplitting tongue-in-cheek merriment (choice lines: "You'll laugh! You'll cry! You'll kiss three bucks goodbye!"). A total hoot.
preppy-3
I caught this little gem totally by accident back in 1980 or '81. I was at a revival theatre to see two old silly sci-fi movies. The theatre was packed full and (with no warning) they showed a bunch of sci-fi short spoofs (to get us in the mood). Most were somewhat amusing but THIS came on and, within seconds, the audience was in hysterics! The biggest laugh came when they showed "Princess Laia" having huge cinnamon buns instead of hair on her head. She looks at the camera, gives a grim smile and nods. That made it even funnier! You gotta see "Chewabacca" played by what looks like a Muppet! It was extremely silly and stupid...but I couldn't stop laughing. Most of the dialogue was drowned out because of all the laughter. Also if you know "Star Wars" pretty well it's even funnier--they deliberately poke fun at some of the dialogue. This REALLY works with an audience! A definite 10!
zardoz12
The latter part of the 1970's seemed to breed spoofs (many of them cheap) and "Hardware Wars" was the best, despite being 15 minutes long and having a budget of $1.98. Presented as a movie trailer, "Hardware Wars" recounts about 80% of Lucas' film using cardboard sets, the director's garage, and every concievable household appliance as ray guns, spaceships, light sabres, the nameless "Death Star" waffle iron, even the Imperial stormtroopers and sand people! It's obvious that this film influenced the set design of "Mystery Science Theater 3000", down to the visible wires holding up the spaceships. A great short, and one that needs to be seen by every film student.
