davidlmarks Kika -- part machine, part woman-- all zombie slayer!We've seen zombie slayers with Samurai swords, we've seen zombie slayers with chainsaws! But we've never seen a cyborg zombie slayer with a Samurai chainsaw-sword and pole dancing skills!In this version of dystopia, the "infected" are people afflicted by a virus that causes antlers to sprout from their brain (much like the real-life Ophiocordyceps unilateralis fungus which invades ants' brains, to eventually erupt from their heads to release spores that will infect other ants).These antlers cause the afflicted to resemble Japanese melons. The origin of this affliction is extraterrestrial as well as familial-- Mother Dearest is a psycho-bitch from hell (with Kika's heart, literally) and Kika's uncle has a Swastika burned into his forehead (ala Charles Manson).And kids being kids, can't leave well enough alone, are grinding up the zombie antlers to experience a new form of high.To keep the infected at bay, a great wall has been erected to separate them from the population. But other nefarious forces are at work, and the wall is breached.Now on Death Row, Kika and cohorts are presented with a choice: face what will ultimately be an unfair trial, or volunteer to take out the "Zombie Queen"-- Mother Dearest.What ensues is sheer mayhem, as our group battles its way through the zombie horde. But not just any zombie horde! We see:Zombie women hurtling zombie babies attached to them with umbilical cords (like Medieval flails)!The Zombie Bar - A Female zombie boxer - Zombie people-wranglers - Zombies doing Michael Jackson's Thriller - Samurai Pin-cushion zombie (looking more like a grotesque porcupine than, say, Hellraiser's Pinhead) who duals (wait for it) with a truck! - A flailing mutant zombie thing with small baby arms (holding a knife and fork) growing out of it's face (words alone can not adequately describe this creature) that ultimately (d)evolves into a "General Grievous" (Star Wars)-like fighting machine - A Zombie car made out of zombie partsBe warned, the gore is very graphic at times. But if you've read this far, I'm sure you aren't taking anything here as a warning. Dismemberment and fire-hose gushers from every body part and orifice are spaced out about every minute or two."Hell Driver" has a tremendous amount of style and fountains of blood, guts and brains... lots of corny prosthetics and absolutely zero logic. It is silly to the extreme-- but that is the point. A screwed up cartoon for adults (that are stoned). Full marks for creativity here!

BA_Harrison Nikkatsu subsidiary Sushi Typhoon, the company that brought us outrageous splatterfests Alien vs Ninja and Deadball, clearly believe that nothing succeeds quite like excess: comic/horror Helldriver, directed by Yoshihiro Nishimura (Tokyo Gore Police), is quite possibly their most manic, insane and relentlessly gory effort thus far.The film stars Yumiko Hara as chainsaw wielding Kika, who is charged with leading a group on a mission into the zombie infested northern half of Japan to find and kill the 'zombie queen' (played by Eihi Shiina, of Audition fame), a former mass murderer who just happens to be Kika's mother Rikka. During their perilous journey, Kika and pals face such absurd threats as a hail of decapitated zombie heads, a multi-limbed creature with swords and machine guns at the end of each appendage and tiny arms in its face, and a zombie driving a car made from dismembered body parts.Other madness on display includes a battle between a car and Rikka's zombie husband, a zombie baby on an absurdly long umbilical cord, and lots and lots of inventive gore, including a young woman (Mizuki Kusumi?) having both her nipples bitten off, the result being fountains of blood erupting from her breasts.Obviously, to realistically bring such craziness to life would cost an awful lot of yen—clearly more than Sushi Typhoon have to spare—which is why the majority of the effects in this film (particularly the ones achieved though the use of CGI) look rather cheap and cartoon-like. Fortunately, with the action being so bonkers, this lack of realism is actually quite fitting and does little to reduce the film's overall enjoyment factor.What does drag the film down, however, is the rather overlong running time—at almost two hours long, such relentless mayhem does become a little tedious—and the fact that lead actress Hara, with her lack of curves and over-sized mouth, isn't as attractive as I would have liked: Asami would have made for a much better heroine (and by better, I mean sexier, of course).

Paul Magne Haakonsen I was so excited when I found out about this movie on Amazon, and I ordered it immediately as it was available, so I managed to acquire a 2-disc DVD version of it. Why was I excited you might ask? Well because it is a zombie movie, a Japanese movie and it has Eihi Shiina in it; three good things put together.As with the recent releases of gore movies from Japan, you know what you are in for with this movie as well. And true enough, "Helldriver" is in the likes of "Tokyo Gore Police", "Meatball Machine", etc. There is an excessive amount of blood and gore from the very start till end here (so now you are warned). And also there is a lot of questionable effects, but you bear over with it because of the gore and absurdity of the whole movie. This is what Japanese gore movies is all about after all.The story told in "Helldriver" is just as weird as the rest of the movie. Kika (played by Yumiko Hara) is abused by her mother, watching her father killed before her very eyes, and she have her heart ripped out by her mother. Then things take a turn for the extreme, yeah as if this wasn't absurd enough. Something from space strikes down the mother, and half of Japan is covered by a strange cloud, turning people into ravenous zombies. Kika is recovered by the Japanese government, "improved" and put back out to deal with the zombie invasion in the north and put the Zombie Queen to rest."Helldriver" has questionable acting at times, but the overall acting performance was adequate for this particular type of movie. So you come to accept the odd acting and over-dramatized situations from time to time.I found "Helldriver" to be good enough entertainment, as I knew what to expect and had braced myself beforehand. Take this for what it is, gory entertainment that is almost as far from being realistic as it can get. This is a movie after all, meant to entertain, not meant to mirror our daily lives.If you don't like gore movies, the extreme splatter movies that Japan have spawned in the recent years, then stay well clear of "Helldriver", because it will not be in your liking. If you are a gorehound and enjoy these over-the-top Japanese splatterfests, then sink your teeth into "Helldriver", because it is as gore-drenched as many of the previous movies of the same genre.The only thing that was a disappointment for me was that Eihi Shiina didn't have as much time on the screen as I would have liked. But that is a matter of personal preference. And also being a huge fan of the zombie genre, I did found this whole antler-thing on the heads of the zombies to be a bit weird. But I accepted it as part of the movie, and also because it did fit well enough into the absurdity of this particular movie and genre.

Mark Vessey The new entry into the "J-sploitation" genre, or what I've lovingly dubbed it "the purposefully hilarious, batshit crazy Asian B-movie" genre, this time from renowned splatter director Yoshihiro Nishimura, the genius behind "Tokyo Gore Police". We're treated to people lap dancing on spinal columns, alien starfish, a scene straight out of Power Rangers featuring zombies using their newborn (umbilical cord an all) as projectiles, an eight armed zombie that sounds like the putty patrol, a zombie seemingly made of weapons fighting an armored car, a car made of zombies, a fight sequence on top of a rocket propelled airplane made of zombies, zombies playing the accordion, zombies getting anally jousted with a chainsaw sword, the title sequence appearing after the hour mark, overall hilarious dialog and much, much more. It may not be as brilliant as its contemporaries but "Helldriver, RoboGeisha, Machine Girl", etc. all prove that nobody makes B-movies like the Asians, not even The Asylum. Also, it's still very strange seeing Eihi Shiina in this crazy villain role after seeing her in "Audition" but she's still amazing.