lupis_noctum We have many terms for people who are crazy enough to claim an impossible or ridiculously improbable relationship with someone else. If the "relationship" is with a person indisputably fictional i.e. Captain Kirk or Spider-man, we simply call them delusional. If it's with a celebrity or other public figure we call them obsessed fans or stalkers when the obsession gets dangerous. When the imagined relationship is with a god or demigod, we call it religion.Anyone remember 80s mallrat-turned-one-hit-wonder Tiffany? Jeff and Kelly surely do. They're the subjects of "I Think We're Alone Now," a portrait of two torn-up-from-the-neck-up wingnuts who've picked Tiffany as the target of their obsession. Jeff is a 50 year old virgin with Asperger's, Kelly is a thirty-something transwoman whose gender dysphoria is quite obviously the least of her problems. These two are a documentary maker's dream. Let the camera roll and you've pretty much got a movie just by letting them be themselves.While intending to simply make a movie about these two incredibly deluded individuals, the filmmakers have inadvertently delivered a rarely-so-intimate treatise on religion-based delusion. By substituting the words "Jesus" or "god" in place of "Tiffany" in the pair's fantasies and soliloquies, one starts to notice that it's the exact same language used by fevered Jesus junkies when describing their "relationship" with their imaginary friend(s).The parallels between Jesus enthusiast and obsessed stalker abound in this film. The imagined relationships and rampant cognitive dissonance are the most glaring examples, but there's so much more. For example, they both pray. Jeff uses his psychotronic helmet (I'm not making this up) to mentally commune with Tiffany from his basement, Kelly has imaginary text sessions with the singer. Collections of holy iconography and texts are everywhere in their apartments. There's even the hint of a holy war brewing during the ill-conceived meeting between these self-appointed popes of two different sects of the Church of Tiffany.Jeff is an evangelist who'll proudly announce to anyone who will listen that he's Tiffany's bestest friend and quotes chapter and verse about her life and his imagined role in it at the drop of a hat. Kelly's version of the religion is of a more deeply personal nature. Kelly knows that she and Tiffany will one day have a romantic relationship and seems to be growing increasingly upset that it hasn't quite happened yet. Unfortunately, this romance will not take place in a fantasy afterlife making Kelly the far more potentially dangerous of the pair. In fact, by the end of the film Jeff has headed down the path of apostasy. While allowing that he and Tiffany will always be dear friends, he's switching his affections to another large breasted 80s celebrity.I've barely scratched the surface of this film's exploration of delusion, religion, cognitive dissonance, and just plain old everyday lunacy. It's really got to be seen to be believed. For atheists, antitheists, and other right-thinking individuals it's a not-so-gentle reminder of the dangers of socially acceptable and government-enabled insanity. For the Jesus junkies, it provides a mirror in which they can hopefully see themselves as more stable people see them and gain a better understanding of just what all the concern is about.There's one issue that the film doesn't really touch on. While Jeff and Kelly might be creepier than a French kiss from Grandma, the mere fact that Tiffany is still performing is in itself quite troubling...

Cat "Biggest fans" can often be innocuous, but many times they cross the threshold from adoring to creepy. The latter is how I would best describe the two fans in this film.The documentary outlines the quest of both these fans to meet Tiffany and attend one of her concerts. The film itself is quite fair in their portrayal of the fans, allowing themselves to share details of their lives and not setting the stage to brand them as stalkers. Through the fans' own words and actions, they set that stage for themselves. Jeff is the seemingly more harmless of the two, in that he is on the autism spectrum, and seems more to be living in his own dream world than present a safety risk to Tiffany. Kelly, however, shows signs of possible mental illness, referenced by jealously exhibited towards Jeff, and several things said during the course of the film which most people would consider at least slightly unnerving. I would be worried for Tiffany's safety in the lone company of Kelly.I came away from this film with a feeling of uneasiness and a new understanding for stars who have to endure stalkers.

carljessieson I Think We're Alone Now is a documentary by Sean Donnelly about two mentally-disturbed individuals obsessed with '80s pop star Tiffany. This is one of the most interesting documentaries I have ever heard of. I almost bought it at Salzer's as soon as I read it because I was so intrigued, but it was like $28 for some weird reason and I only had $6. :( I finally got to see it and I was not let down. It was just as interesting as I thought it would be, possibly even more, in fact. I thought I was just going to witness the infatuation of one middle aged man, but I actually got to meet a 31 year-old hermaphrodite who saw Tiffany in a vision she had during a coma and now believes she's "the one." Damn. I could not look away from this movie. I was exhausted, but I never turned it off. It is completely fascinating. It's funny, but you feel bad for laughing because it's most likely at something weird that one of the stalkers says. I don't like laughing at them but their thoughts are so unbelievable. I never got the impression that Donnelly was making this film so that we could laugh at these people, it was never like that. I think the purpose of the film is more to show people who these stalkers are, to see their reasoning and understand their disease. I don't think they're sick monsters, they're just lonely.My problem with it was that it didn't flow smoothly. It was a pretty choppy film. You'd be watching, and then randomly it would switch to the middle-aged man, then randomly back to Kelly, the hermaphrodite. It was all over the place bouncy, staccato. It was still enjoyable though.It's a very emotional film. It's tragic to see these people, outcasts of average society, believe wholeheartedly that they can capture the heart of a celebrity. They have no doubt that if Tiffany just had a conversation with them, that they could convince her to marry them and live together. It's bizarre. It's so crazy to see these mental illnesses in action. I was flabbergasted by almost everything they said. They really live in a delusion, and it's really amazing to witness. Tiffany is actually in the film a lot too, and it's interesting to see how she handles them. She's very sweet.I do recommend this film. It's a great watch, incredibly difficult to put your attention elsewhere as it plays on your screen. I may buy it someday, for an occasional re-watch to make me laugh and feel thankful for my sanity, but it's not a priority. It's only about an hour long so even if you don't like it, you won't feel too bad about the time spent with it. It was thoroughly enjoyable.

dhawes2002 This documentary does an honorable job of giving dignity to two Tiffany fans (read "stalkers") that society would be eager to dismiss. The filmmakers allow us to enter Jeff Turner's and Kelly McCormick's inner worlds, and see the humanity of both. Kelly McCormick in the documentary claims that a beautiful woman appeared to her in a coma, thus saving her life - - following a near fatal bike crash. She later recognized this woman to be Tiffany. Jeff, on the other hand, says that Tiffany is an interdimensional time traveler, and a mystic Sufi master, able to intervene on a supernatural level. So there is a strange convergence of the two "stalkers"' worlds, in their granting to Tiffany of supernatural and saintly gifts.I have known Jeff for 20 years, and actually made an appearance at the second of the two showings at Slamdance in Park City, where I shared my thoughts following the screening. I am one of the few individuals who is willing to talk who can confirm any of the details of Jeff's remarkable claims. There is substance to his story - - although for years I have attempted to talk him out of the fixed idea that he and Tiffany are meant to be together. (Jeff now is quite happy with Tiffany's union with Englishman Ben - - Kelly's views are not necessarily so amiable.) In the closing scene, the viewer is relieved to find out that Jeff has overcome his fixation on Tiffany - - only to discover that he has now transferred his romantic interest toward celebrity Alyssa Milano.I must admit that I am the only one who accepts Jeff's assertion that he has a connection to Alyssa and her family - - dating back to his days in New York City in the eighties when he hung out with various Italian families. But believe me, I have tried to talk Jeff out of the idea that he has a romantic possibility with Alyssa. Nonetheless, I believe his assertions that Alyssa in 1996 dropped by for a visit to his apartment during the shooting of "Glory Daze" in Santa Cruz - - Jeff's current place of residence.Jeff, in my estimation, is a celebrity in his own right. In the documentary, he displays a positive and redeeming side that sees good and light in all situations. It seems that it is Jeff that give Kelly a positive approach and attitude to her first encounter with Tiffany, during the remarkable meeting of the two "obsessed stalkers" with each other, and with the object of their desire, at the Krave Gay Nightclub in Las Vegas - - a meeting which was orchestrated by the filmmakers themselves.