HotToastyRag If I Had a Million was the granddaddy of later films that strung together little vignettes and drew all-star casts for box office appeal. This one has a pretty clever impetus in the plot: A dying millionaire doesn't want to leave his money to his family, so he picks out eight random people out of a telephone book and gives a million dollars to each of them. Each of the eight handles their check differently, most with tragic consequences but some with smart decisions. The overall lesson is that money changes people and most people don't know what to do with it. In the midst of the Great Depression, it was a very smart lesson to espouse. People in the audience could go home and dream about what they'd do with their million dollars, and then when they remembered they weren't getting a check from a mysterious benefactor they could relax and say, "The folks in the movie weren't any better off with the money."George Raft, Gary Cooper, W.C. Fields, Charles Ruggles, Richard Bennet, Mary Boland, Jack Oakie, Charles Laughton, May Robson, and Alison Skipworth make up the cast, but this collection of short stories isn't very good. Mostly it's depressing and cynical, so unless you're in the mood to watch something like that, you're better off renting O. Henry's Full House.

JohnHowardReid Copyright 18 November 1932 by Paramount Publix Corp. New York opening at the Rivoli: 2 December 1932. U.K. release: 10 June 1933. 83 minutes.COMMENT: On the whole, the film suffers from the lack of background music, though very occasionally "natural" music does provide a welcome break from the oppressive soundtrack silence. One thing that's not silent, however, are the actors; and, unfortunately, our players here do tend to be over-heavily theatrical — with a few notable exceptions, including Wynne Gibson, Charles Laughton, Joyce Compton and, to a lesser extent, George Raft. Frances Dee has a tiny part, as has Berton Churchill in "The Condemned Man" sequence in which James Cruze (definitely NOT Bruce Humberstone who denies he directed this sequence) makes effective use of Negro singing for background music. Production values are excellent. After a slow start — the Prologue seems to take forever to get to the point which we already know (thanks to all the film's publicity) — we move (in the current television print) to "The China Shop" episode, which is very enjoyable; then on to "The Streetwalker" which, with its wonderful evocation of mood and atmosphere, is one of the film's three high-points. "The Forger" is also an enjoyable episode, as is "The Auto" (though slightly below the usually brilliantly comic standard of W.C. Fields). "The Condemned Man" is a so-so entry. Gene Raymond is miscast, the dialogue is repetitious and we can spot the conclusion right from the start. Fortunately, it's short. With "The Clerk", we have another high-point, thanks both to Lubitsch's masterfully inventive (all the sweeping tracking shots through myriad corridors and up the stairs) yet thoroughly detailed (Laughton making last-minute adjustments to his dress, before the deferential knock on the door of Brown's office) direction and the comic genius of Charles Laughton. "The Three Marines", alas, is the film's really big disappointment. It runs far too long, and neither players nor director are able to do a great deal with a one-line joke that basically misfires. "The Old Ladies' Home" provides a final high point, before a somewhat anticlimactic Epilogue. Another of the film's delights should be mentioned, and that of course is the splendid gallery of support cameos, a list that includes Jack Pennick as the ungainly sailor who even the prostitute rejects in "The Streetwalker", Willard Robertson as a doctor in the Prologue, Samuel S. Hinds as a relative in closing, Tom Kennedy as Tough Joe in "The Three Marines", Fred Kelsey as a prison warder, and Robert Homans as an identification policeman in "The Forger".All told, this is grand entertainment. P.S. A big star in 1932 and 1933, Wynne Gibson overshadows everyone else on Paramount's re-issue posters – even though her name is hilariously misspelled as Wynne Bigson!

csteidler Mr. Glidden, millionaire, is dying. Everyone wonders who will get his money. His relatives hang around the mansion but he keeps changing his will. "I'm dying," he complains, "and I don't know of one man in all the thousands that I employ that's fit to leave in charge of a peanut stand." So he comes up with a great idea: picking people out of the phone book and giving them $1,000,000 each—thus introducing an entertaining series of episodes showing various recipients and how their lives are affected.The episodes vary in tone as well as length; overall it's a mostly lighthearted picture that doesn't overwhelm in any way but does offer a chance to see a number of Hollywood stars and character actors in unique roles:W.C. Fields and Alison Skipworth have trouble with a road hog; Charlie Ruggles has a ball smashing up a china shop; Charles Laughton gives his boss the raspberry. Wynne Gibson is memorable in one poignant story as a rescued dance hall girl who climbs into a fancy hotel bed and tosses the second pillow into a closet. The final story features May Robson trapped in a home for elderly ladies. They won't let her make biscuits, won't allow card playing…they won't even let her have a kitten because cats are disease carriers. ("Disease carriers, then why ain't I dead?" Robson retorts. "I've had cats all my life.") It's all pretty melodramatic but made worthwhile by the joyous transformation brought about by Mr. Glidden's gift. Robson is excellent.Richard Bennett is energetic (especially for someone allegedly on death's door) and really quite appealing as the old Mr. Glidden. Also featured in separate stories are Gary Cooper as a Marine and George Raft as a counterfeiter. While it's no masterpiece, it's certainly worth a look, particularly for fans of Fields and Robson.

ROCKY-19 Thank heavens for fans of W.C. Fields, because it is they who have kept this diamond in the public forum after all these years. The film certainly does not belong to Fields, as his Road Hog routine is just one of eight stories of varying lengths. But fortunately, his fans discovered this film so the rest of us can truly enjoy everything else it has to offer, as well. A collection of writers presented eight stories of people who get an unexpected windfall from a steel tycoon. Some are funny, some are touching, some are brilliant in their brevity, some just make you think. Just desserts is the main theme. The Eddie Jackson (George Raft) segment is twistedly ironic enough to be a "Twilight Zone" episode. And EVERYBODY wants to be Phineas Lambert (Charles Laughton). Great writing, great cast - a good time.