I'm Not Jesus Mommy

2011 "Come back soon..."
I'm Not Jesus Mommy
2.7| 1h29m| R| en| More Info
Released: 06 May 2011 Released
Producted By: Fortaleza Filmworks
Country: United States of America
Budget: 0
Revenue: 0
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Synopsis

Kimberly will stop at nothing to have a child of her own. Recovering from cancer her possibilities seemed slim. However, the world's first successful human cloning project brings an opportunity and a son named David. Seven years after David's birth, Roger, the head researcher of the cloning project returns to reveal that David was cloned from DNA taken from the Shroud of Turin... from blood of Christ.

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Michael Ledo When I read about the film in the Redbox, it reveals information that is not revealed in the film until the last 5-10 minutes. I won't do that per se, but the film is so bad, spoilers won't matter.Full figured Dr. Kimmy Gabriel (Bridget McGrath) can not have a child, but keeps on trying. She is very pro-life and reluctantly accepts a position at a human clone project under Dr. Roger Gibson (Charles Hubbell). She steals a cloned embryo and implants it in herself. The film jumps to seven years later as the world is thrust into a post apocalyptic nightmare as Kimmy and her son David (Rocko Hale) live in a run down tenement living off government MRE handouts.The film has heavy religious messages as both lesion faced Kim and Roger are very religious and frequently read from the Bible and listen to radio preachers. This appears to be a "come to Jesus film" except the "good guys" do nothing heroic to save the day or themselves. Indeed, if anything they appear to be part of the problem which is to make a statement about the condition of human existence.This film is very low budget. The sets are meager. The acting is bad and dialouge has a religious corniness to it. It fails to get interesting until 10 minutes before the final credits and by then you pray for the end.Knowing the "secret" of the film by reading the by-line I couldn't help but think during the film..."Funny. He doesn't look Jewish."Parental Guide: No f-bombs, sex, or nudity. Bridget McGrath cleavage.
revbighig Several male reviewers were quite upset about the lead actress being over-weight and unattractive. These knuckle-dragging sexists would have preferred Lindsey Lohan, no doubt. I don't recall any female comments being concerned with how skinny Charles Hubbell was – kudos to them all. Hubbell though, was noted frequently as an unknown actor of little skill, despite a long list of credits on IMDb itself. He is a fine actor in this movie and elsewhere. Then we have the "scientists" out there upset over the lack of scientific logic in a fantasy/horror movie about the Apocalypse.Now I'll admit I was having some troubles with this movie at the beginning. I almost gave up on it. The major research facility looked like a walk-in-clinic in a strip mall. But that "Seven Years Later" CONELRAD deal woke me up and piqued my interest, along with some later twists and surprises. (And Hubbell's amazing descent into evangelical madness.) I think I know who that was at the very end: the Slender Man? Christopher Walken? The Tall Man from Phantasm? Oral Roberts? You decide; that's what makes vague endings fun and a source of discussion. The movie was weird, interesting, and different. I liked it.
mdiv2000 If it were only the mangled science and the poorly crafted ending, I would rate this movie higher. I found it on Hulu listed as Horror, but that doesn't do it justice. The movie is a horror on so many levels. Other reviewers have noted the scientific issues, along with the less-than-stellar production values, so I won't repeat those criticisms here. My primary concern is the bad theology on which the film is based. Theologically, the film fails. The early scenes in the military compound/lab are obviously anti-abortion, and the idea that women could be forced to participate in the experiment because they are undocumented immigrants reeks of a cross between Nazism and Margaret Atwood's The Handmaid's Tale. There is also a strong tendency toward the judgmental, punishing God of Pat Robertson and his ilk, and very little by way of the God who loved the world so much as to send Jesus to save it.
Race Dowling (racedowling) So rife with scientific errors, but since apparently the film was written for entertaining homeschooled Christian wingnuts, they probably didn't feel scientific accuracy was important.First, you cannot clone from red blood cells because they contain no DNA. But assuming that you got some white blood cells, you couldn't clone from them since there has been 2000 years of degradation; the information is completely lost. That aside, assuming you could clone Christ and as they say make an exact duplicate (which you cannot BTW), why would he have no Semitic features whatsoever? The kid is the whitest white boy on the block. Finally, and I hate to break it to you if you don't know, but the Shroud of Turin was identified as a complete fraud by carbon dating it to the 13-14th century, so it would be like cloning someone from 1000 years after the alleged existence of Jesus of Nazareth (which again, you couldn't do anyway).This is billed as a science fiction, but more properly it is just a Christian religious film regarding an interpretation of the end-times. I rated it a 3 rather than a 1 because you cam have it on as background when working on your computer. I only give ones to films that are so bad you have to watch the trainwreck.