sevenlilxenos When rating a movie the first thing I always do is check out what year it was made and released and then try to keep things in perspective of similar films of that general time period. (I.O.T.) Star Creatures is a comedy first and a sci-fi flick second which may be disappointing to some who don't believe the two genres should be mixed, which as a general rule includes myself. However, if you are a big Stooges fan, you will notice many gags and some dialog lifted straight out of Moe, Larry and Curly's playbook. This movie basically warns the viewer up front that it is not to be taken seriously so with that it mind most fans of the 50s-60s sci-fi era should be able to sit through the entire film.Again if your a Stooges/Marx Brothers fan you will be on an Easter egg hunt from start to finish. Some nice out of this world eye candy helps to get things past the slow parts. Be forewarned that the low budget cheap and cheesy costumes and a rather silly plot make the film best served with beer.2 stars would be generous. Enjoy!

MartinHafer "Invasion of the Star Creatures" is simply one of the dumbest films I have ever seen. Despite the star creatures looking completely ridiculous and about as scary as a bowl of tapioca, the film is NOT dumb because of this but due to the two lame stars of this travesty, Robert Ball and Frankie Ray. They are among the worst comedy teams in film history--even edging out Allen and Rossi (from "Last of the Secret Agents?"). To put it bluntly, they are the perfect comedy duo for anyone who finds the Three Stooges or Ritz Brothers too mentally taxing. Perhaps the only comedian(??) who could equal the badness of Ball and Ray is Cash Flagg (from such classics as "The Incredibly Strange Creatures Who Stopped Living and Became Mixed Up Zombies"). Yes, they are THAT bad! The film's plot is a lot like a traditional space monster invasion film combined with "Abbott and Costello Go To Mars". Ball and Ray stumble upon an alien invasion (though there are only two actual aliens--two very tall and hot space ladies). The ladies use star creatures (you have to see them to believe them) to do their bidding and it's up to the boys to escape and get help. Unfortunately, being subhuman idiots, they have a hard time convincing anyone that the planet is about to become enslaved. Fortunately, their commanding office has the intelligence of a gopher--so perhaps they stand a chance! To sum it up, the film is horribly written, acted and is just plain stupid and cheap. However, it's so bad and makes no pretense about it and never takes itself seriously. So, while I'd normally give such an annoying and stupid film a 1, I give it 2 for at least realizing it was a bad film as they made it! Because of this, it could be a good party film--one for you and your friends to watch and make cracks at--sort of like your very own episode of "Mystery Science Theater". You've gotta see this one to see just how bad it could be.

scorseseisgod-1 The hilarious trailer for this amateurish, ultra-low budget blend of comedy and Sci-fi became a cornerstone of my VHS library since USA Network's "Night Flight" first aired it back in the early 80's. "Look at these great big beautiful babes," says the, drooling, over-modulating 60's narrator. A revulsive Leo Gorcey wannabe puts the moves on a cute "galaxy gal" at least a foot taller than he is so his head is always at breast-level. All this and a hand-painted long shot of Cape Canaveral to boot! After ninety-seconds I was sold and had to track down a copy; this looked worse than as bad as they get. Rule of order - whenever a preview narrator feels the need to tell us that, "the laughs come fast and free," bet the opposite.The script was written by Roger Corman regular Jonathan Haze. It's original title, "Monsters from Nicholson Mesa," was aimed at poking fun at American International honcho James H. Nicholson. Haze, best remembered as Seymour Krelboyne in "Little Shop of Horrors," intended the script as a showcase for he and fellow Corman stalwart Dick Miller. Instead, we get two comics that make Ted Danson and Howie Mandel look like Laurel and Hardy. Frankie Ray (Penn) is all eyebrows, macho Brooklynese and lame one-liners. No one ads an extra syllable to the word "bay-be-ee" quite like Frankie does! His partner Robert Ball (Philbrick) is a nasal, infantile pansy. Get the potential for comedic contrast? Some stock footage and the trailer's narrator set the place at Fort Nicholson, the World's center for atomic research. We hear talk of "the world's greatest scientists working together" and "Our first line of defense" only to cute-cut to a couple of "hand-picked" expert yardbirds that can't even handle a garden hose. If you didn't already take a hint from the (Wow!) placed next to two bimbo's names in the credits, this is the level of humor you can anticipate over the next hour.The staging is mortifying. Stop the camera, move it 45-degrees to the right and restart the actors from where they left off. You want laughs? Stuck a guy in a garbage can, make sure the "No Smoking" sign blinds the audience, light up a cigar, toss it in the trash after you spot an officer coming and wait for the howls. A pacifist soldier weeps over killing a rattlesnake. Stupefying impressions of Warner Bros.' gangsters. Toy rayguns with dime store funnels jammed in the barrels. Not one original joke or concept and even worse, the filmmakers still can't figure out an acceptable way to present them.While the duo goldbricks, their platoon explores a cave containing a race of extra-terrestrial tree people; stiff, burlap-clad, button-eyed extras acting scary with outstretched arms. They direct the boys to a spaceship commanded by two Amazon playmates, Prof. Tanga (Gloria Victor, Wow!) and her assistant Dr. Puna (Dolores Reed Wow! Wow!). They hail from the non-existent but real sounding planet Chalar in the Belfar star system. For ten years the galaxy gals have been on earth perfecting a race of Vegemen that they grow in soil brought from their planet. The boys treat their abduction as if it were a first date. These Naugahyde-bikini cuties are out of this world! The looming Dr. Puna begs to be taught the language of love Philbrick-style. (Instead of re- recording Cyrano Penn's romantic play-by-play, you can hear him echoing just off-camera.) His kiss Wows! the Wow!Wow! and, using a cigarette lighter as a compass (don't ask), they make their escape. Borrowing from a cowboy film, they start a paper-mache boulder avalanche that fails to stop the oncoming "Spacetro Nuts." The "broads" call them off and Capt. Awol, a character I had hoped we were done with, is brought back into play. I suppose the filmmakers thought were playing around with genre when all of a sudden a group of Indians arrive on horseback. This allows room for plenty of "kemosabe" and "peace pipe" jokes to pad the scant running time.After catching a buzz, the boys return to the ship. Philbrick saves the world by accidentally launching the spaceship. Puna's (Poon?) hots for the earth-man convinces Tanga to, "in the interest of science," kiss Penn. "Stand by for a charge, Bay-bee-ee!" Equating love with slavery, the dames return to earth, become suburban housefraus and wave at stock footage while their beaus are honored. A gypsy violin plays as the foursome drive off in a '57 Thuderbird with "The End" written on the spare.A couple of short retardates cracking wise with busty babes. This sub-Neanderthal material doesn't even have the makings of a funny Playboy cartoon. It was released a few month's prior to the Kennedy assassination. Oswald not only killed JFK, his timing forever punctured the Rat Pack ethos and put a dent in Hefner's swingin' sixties philosophy. The compositions are even more offensive than the blatant sexism. Even letterboxed there's enough room to park another feature at the top of the frame. At best, a relic from another era.

EyeAskance Even at age 10 I felt like the Mayor of Moronville for actually staying up late and sitting through this gonzo flick. Something of a sci-fi genre parody, it has the usual bumbling male leads falling all over themselves trying to gain the adoration of some comely moon-cuties. On the prowl in this schlock are a couple of lumbering fellows in Danskin tights with potato sacks on their heads(the so-called "Star Creatures" of the title)For even aspiring to be as little as lowbrow camp, this is actually a pretty rough ride. If I had seen this at a drive-in in 1963, I surely would have driven my vehicle full-speed through the movie screen in a fit of consternation(or at least demanded my eighty cents back). Perhaps today, as an adult, I'd have a better time with "Invasion of the Star Creatures"(Bacardi 151 in hand, of course...)**UPDATE, May 2010** I did indeed revisit this sub-B movie, and as I suspected, it actually IS a more worthy watch today as a cultural artifact. One particular line of dialog is exemplary of this -"...wow...that's the first time a salad's ever tossed *ME*!". That one probably brought forth a few weak chuckles in '63...presently, some folks might fall on the floor in hysterics...3.5/10