Leofwine_draca MONSTER is very much a terrible picture, an extremely low rent monster movie from 1980. I love the genre and I love the era, but this indie was shot out in the desert in New Mexico and is of such a poor quality in every respect that it's difficult to sit through. A bunch of stale and ageing cast members do battle with a barely-seen creature that rises from the depth to take victims, but this sub-CREATURE FROM THE BLACK LAGOON has absolutely nothing to recommend it, even for B-movie lovers. John Carradine pops up as a priest, James Mitchum is the wooden, square-jawed hero, and Anthony Eisley must be wondering why his career never progressed beyond Z-grade features.

Woodyanders Industrial pollution from a cement plant awakens a vicious predatory prehistoric monster that proceeds to terrorize a small Columbian village. Man, does this lousy bilge strike out something fierce in practically every possible way: hopelessly all-thumbs (non)direction by Kenneth Hartford and Herbert L. Strock (who both also co-wrote the horrendously dull, talky, and uneventful script), a painfully plodding pace, infrequent and flatly staged monster attack set pieces, zero tension or momentum, mild gore, bland and murky cinematography, a laughably hokey and unconvincing googly-eyed rubbery beast with a silly Fu Mancho mustache (!), a generic hum'm'shiver score, a limp and markedly less-than-thrilling climax in which the creature blows up real good after eating a lamp stuffed with dynamite, and, worst of all, a simply pathetic "it ain't over yet!" sequel set-up ending. The slumming cast strictly go through the motions: James Mitchum projects all the charisma of a loaf of stale moldy bread as macho no-nonsense troubleshooter Travis, Anthony Eisley likewise contributes a seriously underwhelming performance as the drippy Pete, John Carradine scowls a lot and mostly just stands around as a stern priest, and Aldo Sambrell is wasted in a minor nothing part as a local police officer. Hartford's real-life son Glen and daughter Andrea are both supremely annoying as a couple of irritating teenagers. Only Philip Carey as a foul-mouthed CEO brings some much-needed fire-breathing life to this otherwise dreary wash-out. A total stinker.

kempever Hey HULU.com is playing the Elvira late night horror show on their site and this movie is their under the Name Monsteroid, good fun to watch Elvira comment on this Crappy movie ....Have Fun with bad movies. Anyways this movie really has very little value other than to see how bad the 70's were for horror flicks Bad Effects, Bad Dialog, just bad movie making. Avoid this unless you want to laugh at it. While you are at HULU check out the other movies that are their right now there is 10 episodes and some are pretty decent movies with good plots and production and you can watch a lot of them in 480p as long as you have a decent speed connection.

PhilosophicZombi Where can we begin... This film starts off in Colombia with a young couple dancing to festive music in the night. As is natural in this situation, their frolicking is interrupted as the man is attacked and killed by a shadowy fish/lizard creature. Que loud scream and..."MONSTER". While the begining is far from unique, the camera work gave me some nostalgic vibes from similar 70's films and I thought that maybe, just maybe there was hope for this diamond in the rough. Alas...I suppose when you buy a 30 year old video tape for a dollar at an antique store, you get what you pay for. After a brief intro telling us how this is all based on a "true" story, we are introduced to a group of business men discussing the state of their mine in Colombia. Apparently talk of lake monsters and witchcraft have disrupted the flow of cash and the board 'ain't' happy about it. SO add in some environmental issues, religious views and an annoying nerdy kid who believes in the lake monster and you've got yourself...well... a mess. "The monster manages to "get in touch" with three or four individuals. These scenes aren't too bad, but they are few and far between the hour of talking. Even a witch burning doesn't do much to speed this film up. First problem. If you're going to have a movie called "monster", please make said monster not laughable. It's early scenes were brief, actually managing to keep the tension up, but believe me, the big reveal is sort of a let down. Imagine the Lock Ness monster mixed with a lizard and a catfish and you'll have some idea. Now once the creature is revealed, certainly our "hero's" will face off with it personally right...RIGHT!!! Nope, the best way is to pump a lamb full of dynamite and go fishing. I do have a slight problem with this. Obviously, if a creature has been surviving for thousands of years without having been discovered, and it is capable of going for a little stroll on land, it must be somewhat intelligent. So why does the creature decide to go out for a bite to eat and reveal itself when it is surrounded and being followed by a helicopter? Perhaps he was a media whore... Of course our hero manages to accidentally drop detonator in the water, causing him to brave a swim. Personally this was just stupidity on his part, and I was rooting for the Monster. Alas this occasionally clever beast decides to play around with a guy in a boat rather than take care of the real threat. SO the beast goes Kaboom. There is much rejoicing...unfortunately they don't realize that Monsters like to lay hundreds of eggs in a clearly visible and poorly protected area which can hatch spontaneously releasing offspring which are actually too large to fit in the supposed eggs they came from. Everybody up to speed? Don't worry about it. Personally I didn't hate this film as much as I have others. In this case the makers were simply over enthusiastic with their budget constraints. The plot could have worked and the film could have been a little scary with more money and better casting. One little factoid I noticed, is that women have progressed considerably since the 70's. In this movie, secretaries are called darlin' and honey, and have their posteriors fondled in ways that would see a modern man carried off for a chat with a grand jury.