Michael_Elliott Skyscraper (1996) * 1/2 (out of 4)Anna Nicole Smith plays Carrie Wish, a helicopter pilot who ends up in a skyscraper with a group of terrorists. Thankfully Carrie's husband, a detective, taught her how to handle herself with a gun and soon she's going head-to-head with the males.This here is basically DIE HARD with boobs. This film has gained a pretty big cult following over the years because of how bad it is and you know why people were renting this back in 1996. Smith got a fairly big paycheck to appear in this movie and obviously her male fans were wanting to see her naked. What else do guys like? Why bloody violence and action of course so the producers just threw everything together but the end result isn't that good.For starters, this here was a direct-to-VHS film so one really shouldn't expect too much. Thankfully it's stupid enough to where it's at least watchable and a lot of the credit has to go to Smith and her awful performance. Her line reading is among the worst you'll ever hear and there's no question that more times than not you'll be laughing at it. She's not very believable as an action star either but this too brings some laughs. With that said, she wasn't hired for her acting. It was her chest that got her the part and fans will be happy to know that there are three sex/nude scenes.In all honesty, this film is extremely ambitious for a direct-to-VHS title because the budget was obviously higher than normal. The action scenes are pretty good when you consider this was meant to be on video. There are plenty of shoot outs and explosions throughout. SKYSCRAPER has all the elements of a cult movie and on that level it works. Just don't be expecting the quality of DIE HARD.

Comeuppance Reviews In the pantheon of action stars that perhaps should not have become action stars, a few names come to mind. Judge Reinhold. Steve Guttenberg. Jay Leno. Steven Seagal. Now we can proudly add to that storied list Anna Nicole Smith, who was the obvious choice to stand in for Bruce Willis in a classic 90's Die Hard knockoff (or "DieHardInA" movie - see our review for Sudden Death to see a comprehensive list). Of course, usually a DieHardInA movie takes the Die Hard template and moves it to a certain location, like a water treatment plant or a hockey game. Here, it's Die Hard in a...building. How they ever got the idea to put this plot line in a skyscraper, we'll never be able to figure out. But that's the issue: this is really just standard fare, with only the novelty of the Anna Nicole stunt casting to set it apart. So it really doesn't matter that the action was moved from a skyscraper to a skyscraper (as if we, as viewers, were having trouble understanding that, they felt the need to call the movie Skyscraper). It wasn't the location that needed to be changed, it's the star. Instead of a water treatment plant, they got Anna Nicole.Anyone who is familiar with PM will recognize their hallmarks here: well-done blow-ups, plenty of gun-shooting, rocket launchers (this time with "rocket vision"), an exploding helicopter, and a familiar cast and crew of regulars such as Raymond Martino and fan-favorite Malibu (AKA Deron McBee). McBee looks so feminine here, when he fights Anna Nicole, it's kind of hard to tell who's who. Perhaps that's why they made his long, flowing mane brown instead of its usual blonde, as one of the sole means of differentiation. He and his other main terrorist partner certainly dress for success: rather than wearing fatigues or something like that, they wear leather pants and man-blouses.Seagal and Anna Nicole do have many things in common: they both struggle with their acting, they both struggle with their action scenes, and they're both pleasantly plump. If they ever had a baby, the results might be along the lines of Beverly Hills Ninja. But without the talent of Chris Farley. To be fair, though, these were the pre-Trimspa days. While we do have to wait a while for it, we do get some Anna Nicole-Fu. Before that, we get some Skinemax-style nudity/sex scenes (mentally take yourself back to 1996. If you rented Skyscraper and the nudity factor wasn't there, you would feel wicked cheated. However, "look not through a knothole, lest ye be vexed" as what nudity there is is more freakish/odd than hot), and plenty of inane dialogue such as "I got a bad feeling about this!" - though, to be fair once again, someone does say the time-honored classic "We got company!", which we always notice.So while it was the 90's - the era of pagers - computer graphics in the movie really do resemble Pong. We know it was low-budget, but come on. We think the Zitex Corporation (is this where they create zits?) can probably do better. But the bottom line is, we all know why we're here. For the freakish novelty of Anna Nicole Smith in a PM action movie. If that's something you think you can handle, by all means, take a ride on Heliscort (who comes up with these names?) and have some fun with the so-bad-it's-goodness.

jimel98 In the bad department, this film doesn't measure up to the classics like "Plan 9 From Outer Space", but it tries very hard. Security Guard Dudley Wright is the best thing about this movie, but his Tim Kazarinski (Tim, if I spelled that wrong, I'm sorry) impression seals the deal.If you really want to ogle Anna Nicole Smith's nude bod, better to dig up an old Playboy. She's really not shown that often. Three scenes only one totally nude.On a scale of 1-10 for believability, I'd have to go into the negative numbers, but it does give plenty of laughs if you're willing to suspend any and all credibility.I sincerely feel very bad for the actual GOOD actors in this (there ARE some), but I'm sure they didn't mind the extra job to fill in time between honest work.

Sambo02 This film has some of the worst acting I have ever seen, though I found it amusing just listening to anna nicole smith. She should do comedy and not action, Like in Naked gun.Is it just me or are all the male actors just pumped up on steroids and are like robots.The only good thing about the film is anna nicole smith flashing her body around, that she does so often. I recommend any guy that wants to see anna nicole smith strip, that they should download the clips from the internet and not buy it on DVD, unless you can pick it up for 50 pence.