Michael_Elliott Beauties and the Beast, The (1974) ** (out of 4) What's better than nudity and a Yeti? This soft core romp has plenty of both as a lonely Yeti stalks the woods kidnapping beautiful women and taking them back to his cage. He's in luck as some hippies and a couple other ladies (one played by Swedish bombshell Uschi Digard) come to stay for the weekend so he has plenty to pick from. I love Yeti movies but this here is one of the wackiest out there even though it contains absolutely no plot. I'm still not quite sure why the Yeti here was taking the women to begin with as he never does anything with them except throw them in his cave and we never find out what happens to any of them. The main reason this film was made was to show off countless nude women and especially the 44-26-35 Digard who many will remember from Russ Meyer's CHERRY, HARRY & RACHEL!. As far as soft core flicks go this one here is pretty good but at only 66-minutes there's not too much going on and that includes everything with our hairy friend Mr. Yeti. I'm still not sure what the point of throwing him in here was for because we really don't get enough of him and when we do see him he's usually just carrying the women around. The idea of a horny Yeti wasn't started here as BIGFOOT beat this one by a few years and it had the added bonus of John Carradine. The main reason to watch this film is just for the nudity and some really bad sex scenes including one of the most hilarious "make out" sessions I've seen from any movie. This here takes place inside a car and you certainly won't forget it due to how stupid it is.

Coventry I love how this movie opens with an sincere on screen narration about scientific facts, examples of newspaper clippings and alleged factual sightings of an American Sasquatch monster, and then stupidly continues by saying "the story you're about to see COULD be true…". Well of course it could be true! Stuff like this happens all the time! Not a week goes by or I read something in the papers about lewd and nakedly parading around wenches getting abducted in the woods by Sasquatch himself! "Beauties and the Beast", like the title implies, is a rancid and utterly nonsensical sexploitation product of the early 70's; simultaneously cashing in on the Bigfoot hype in horror cinema at that time as well as benefiting from the always popular concept of voluptuous girls practicing the Free Love principles. It's Big-foot meeting Big-boobs, as Russ Meyer regular Uschi Digard (with her lovely Scandinavian accent and her even lovelier triple-D balcony) and her friend drive up to a remote cabin in the woods where a big and perverted guy in an ape suit resides. In earlier sequences we already witnessed how he collects scarcely dressed girls and stores them in a cave without even sexually harassing them. Now, that is weird! I personally expected at least one repulsive monstrous rape-sequence, to be honest. Anyway, the girls encounter a bunch of hippies (who have been there since 8 months but never spotted the Yeti…) and subsequently some thugs in search of golden coins, so the monster never really has a proper chance to demonstrate to Uschi what a hot date he is. "Beauties and the Beast" is a pretty lousy but undeniably entertaining piece of trash, with a large amount of unintentionally hilarious sequences (for example the guy running away naked upon spotting the Sasquatch; leaving his girlfriend behind) and harmlessly tame sexual footage. The last fifteen minutes are quite strange. It feels as if, after a whole movie of redundant sex images and pointless padding, the story suddenly becomes ambitious and eventful. There's violence and rape, new characters and the titular beast actually becomes the day-saving hero! In the end, they all live happily ever after in harmony, and nobody even bothers anymore about the Yeti's first victims, who are mostly likely still entrapped in the cave.

Woodyanders This spectacularly silly'n'slapdash soft-core Sasquatch smut really needs to be seen in order to be believed. Gaynor MacLaren's patchy script offers more of a snazzy idea than an actual story: A lonely peeping tom Bigfoot abducts sexy'n'shapely sensuous young hippie honeys from a nearby commune and takes them back to his cave to keep him company. Fortunately, director Roy Naneau inexhaustibly milks the skimpy premise for every last sensationally shameless, leering, voyeuristic girl-watching cheap sleazy thrill he can derive from the laughably ludicrous story, with the picture hitting its jaw-dropping surreal apex during a wacky nightmare sequence showing two luscious stark naked gals having an Old West-style gunslinger showdown! And frankly who needs an it-would-only-get-in-the-way hokey plot when you got busty'n'lusty Irish redhead hottie supreme Sharon Kelly, the impossibly voluptuous Uschi Digard and the deliciously lissome Sandra Carey peeling off their cloths and happily displaying their delectable unclad bodies with pleasing regularity? I sure don't. The uproariously inappropriate hip, mellow, finger-snapping cocktail lounge score takes the viewer straight to aural groovesville while the ratty, scratchy photography further spices up the film's fantastically lurid'n'loopy sense of blithely unapologetic degeneracy and the maladroitly jumping back and forth fragmented narrative eschews continuity in favor of a peculiarly becoming "what the hell's going on here?"-type disjointedness. And the Bigfoot itself is a splendidly sickly, shabby, shambling gasser to behold: With its fat, putty-nosed face, mangy black coat, large white teeth, and gigantic, muscular behemoth build, the hirsute Polish Mongoloid lecher resembles a last place loser participant from a tenth-rate kindergarten Halloween costume party contest. A so-terrible-it's-quite-tasty cinecheese hoot.

EyeAskance The legendary Bigfoot monster does his usual...erm...Bigfooting around some woods where a couple of vacationing young lovelies and a communal household of rather irritating hippies(oh Gawd....that folk song...)spend their time in various states of undress. The titular "beast" is a pretty shoddy man-in-a-gorilla-suit mess with what appears to be a cro-magnon head mask. Our Bigfoot carries unsuspecting girlies to a cave, where he keeps them captive for future(implied sexual)activities. This rock-bottom crud has everything trash film mongers crave...it's astoundingly cheap, with more nudity than you might expect of it(full-frontal, both male and female....the Bigfoot, however, is devoid of any obvious genitalia....perhaps the monster is of the lesbian persuasion?) Pisspoor editing abounds....either the video I bought is badly cut, or several key issues are left entirely unresolved. Who cares, though? You're watching this to see boobs and cheesy monster mayhem, and that's just what you get. Ten filthy little stars....now go buy yourself a copy.