doctorsmoothlove Several of my friends and I have set out to discover good little-known horror films using DVD rental services. This long, mostly fruitless task has resulted in many nights of tedium but occasionally we'll discover something worthwhile, which, for us, is euphoria not unlike that experienced by treasure hunters. We've made great discoveries like Alucarda, The Legacy, and Blue Sunshine after enduring substantial mediocrity. I personally find it revelatory when I find a film I can enjoy in some capacity even if it isn't a fully satisfying experience.The Sister of Ursula is such a movie. While it is intended to be a giallo, there are only obligatory inclusions of genre tropes. The film's unique focal points aren't on plot or artful deaths, but we see plenty of the victims and their surroundings before they die. Director Enzo Milioni knows he had no story, so he uses the running time as an excuse to photograph Italy's beautiful Amalfi Coast and its nubile inhabitants.There's enough nudity categorize the film as soft-core pornography, though most of it isn't exploitative. Ursula's sister Dagmar, for example, is seen wearing a golden necklace to impress a young man at the hotel where the two are staying. After she goes back to her room, we see her masturbating with the necklace, which he complemented. This scene would normally have no relevance, but in the absence of plot, it works nicely as a piece of erotic art. There's a refreshing frankness to much of the movie's nudity that even the classic giallos usually lack. Unfortunately, some plot is needed to tie up the more tasteful sexy parts. It's a boring cycle that repeats too frequently. As follows: a woman is shown to be naked for whatever reason (if a man is with her, he is stabbed), a masked marauder knocks her out and we see he is holding a phallic object, and then the slain woman is seen bleeding from her vagina. The amusement in these scenes wears off quickly, and they are hardly innovative. Another film from 1978 called Red Rings of Fear or Virgin Killer has the same death-by-sex toy gimmick.We easily realize Ursula is probably the killer before we're told she is, and we are given an explanation that adds a layer of intrigue to the film. Apparently Ursula's and Dagmar's father disappeared before we met them and Ursula is convinced his spirit tells her to kill sexually active women. So, the film could exist in a hyper-masculine alternative reality where male domination is so severe as to interfere with women's self-identities. Ursula is integrated entirely into this world, and sees its continuation as endearing to the memory of her father. That's why she kills her victims with her phallic sex toy; it's the ultimate expression of male superiority. Father would be proud.Plenty of contemporary directors should consider remaking this film, and I think Catherine Breillat would be ideally suited to its sensibilities. Then the story could drop the giallo disguise the original is forced to wear.Recommended

Witchfinder General 666 LA SORELLA DI URSULA (aka. "The Sister of Ursula" / "Curse of Ursula") of 1978 is an incredibly sleazy Giallo that is primarily recommendable for its perverted sleaze, beautiful settings and beautiful female cast members. Directed by the rather un-known Enzo Milioni, the film is certainly not a particularly memorable, suspenseful or convoluted example for Suspense-cinema's most intriguing genre, but, overall, the genre-typical combination of sleaze and elegance (the focus is on the sleaze-part in this case) makes it interesting enough for my fellow Giallo-enthusiasts to track down.The beautiful Austrian sisters Ursula (Barbara Magnolfi) and Dagmar Beyne (Stefania D'Amario) come to Amalfi in Southern Italy in search of their mother, who left their late father a long time ago. Upon their arrival, a prostitute is murdered in a highly perverted and gruesome manner. Ursula, who has been traumatized by the death of her beloved father, seems hostile towards others and is sure that somebody is out to kill her as well...The film is incredibly sleazy, though not particularly brutal for Giallo-standards. It starts out well, but gets a bit repetitive after a while. In its sleaziness, is sometimes compared to GIALLO A VENEZIA (1979), another incredibly sleazy Giallo made after the genre's heyday (which I would call the years 1970-1975), though that film was arguably the most graphically sadistic Giallo of all. LA SORELLA DI URSULA is far more elegant, however. The coastal small-town Amalfi in Campania, Italy is incredibly beautiful, and a wonderful location for any film, especially a Giallo. The hotel in which most of the film takes place is full of incredibly cool set-pieces. The genre-typical score featuring a mysterious female singing voice is beautiful and supports the film's elegance and eerie atmosphere. The murders are nasty, but not particularly brutal, since the killings as such are not that graphic. There are tons of sleaze and gratuitous female nudity, which is very graphic even for softcore-pornography standards. This is very welcome, since the female cast consists entirely of stunning beauties. The most ravishing woman in the film is Barbara Magnolfi, who will be recognized by any fan of Italian Horror for her supporting role in Dario Argento's masterpiece SUSPIRIA (1977), most likely the most famous of all Italian Horror films. She's also a fine actress, and delivers the most convincing performance here. Stefania D'Amorio, who plays her eponymous sister, is also very beautiful, as are the other female cast members. The male cast includes Cult-cinema regular Marc Porel in a shady role.Overall, LA SORELLA DI URSULA isn't a must-see, and there are numerous Gialli that should be seen before this one. However, it provides sleazy and elegant entertainment, and while it isn't the most suspenseful specimen of the genre, my fellow Giallo-fans should have a good time watching it. Just don't expect anything on a par with Sergio Martino or Dario Argento.

happyendingrocks Locked away in the vaults of every film studio are negatives from some truly quality horror and cult films that have yet to see a proper DVD release. Serious aficionados are forced to track down bootleg copies that are merely transfers from semi-grainy VHS tapes, which do little to preserve the quality or augment these films with supplemental material, or at least a decent digital remaster. With so many gems left undiscovered by a discerning digital audience, it thoroughly amazes me that something like The Sister Of Ursula was deemed worthy of a DVD makeover.Though billed as a hybrid giallo/erotic thriller, there are few thrills to be had in this plodding mess of a whodunnit, and with only a few unimpressive scenes that feature any sort of horror element, the spaghetti splatter here is closer to Stauffer's lasagna (although such a comparison is actually insulting to Stauffer's, since their lasagna is loaded with taste, while this film has none).When you strip away any mystery or horror, what this film does offer is loads of soft-core sex scenes that are graphic enough to skirt the boundaries of even the X rating. So, was there no pornography available in Italy in the '70s? I consider this merely because the only audience this film seems aimed at are fans of graphically displayed and unabashedly lewd sex acts, yet since this film doesn't quite go the XXX distance, it seems silly that anyone in that demographic would seek this out instead of opting for a purely pornographic offering.As far as smut goes, this is certainly well-made smut, we have to give it that. The cinematography and locations are attractive to look at, as are most of the female actresses, who spend the majority of the film in various couplings and states of undress. However, this also works against Ursula, because since this is a relatively polished piece of film making, it doesn't even have the unintentional humor of ineptness that gives many trashy movies such as this cult following appeal. One definite piece of comedic interest, however, is that the main "steamy" music theme that accompanies each of the sex scenes borrows heavily from "Jingle Bells."Even the murderer's choice of a giant phallus as a weapon isn't too novel, since while reading up on Ursula I learned that there was another Italian film made before this with a killer that employed the same noteworthy instrument of death. It doesn't help that the unit is carved in the shape of a bearded gnome, either. When all is said and done, and the killer is revealed, the particulars of the murders become puzzling: So, apparently the victims just laid there and allowed themselves to be wooden phallused to death? Nearly all of the on-screen carnage is displayed through after-reveals, none of which reveal much of anything, so this can't really be recommended to fans of the classic '70s Italian slasher movement. And since we've already established that there's no suspense (the killer practically has the word "psychotic" carved on their forehead), fans of classic thrillers won't find a winner here. (It's worth noting that the trailer advertises this piece as an adult character study of sorts, with only one hint of murders taking place in the film, so the giallo aspects in Ursula were apparently considered irrelevant even to the film-makers). Which leaves a question far more disturbing than this film: why would anyone pay twenty bucks to preserve The Sister Of Ursula in their DVD library? That one, I can't answer. Besides, I got my copy for around seven bucks, and I'm fairly confident I can get at least that much when I sell this piece of crap back.

lazarillo The Italian giallo eventually suffered a lingering, painful death, merging with the inferior American slasher movies in the 1980's and the vastly inferior American "erotic thrillers" in the 1990's (with which today it is virtually indistinguishable). It was clear though that the rot had set in as early as the late 70's with films like "Play Motel" or this one where the sex and nudity that had always been used to season the genre seemed to become its very reason for being. The only thing that separates a film like this from crappy American softcore porn is its almost cheerful political incorrectness, appalling lapses of taste, and a general paucity of silicone breast implants.Two sisters with a disturbed past check into a seaside hotel where the guests are suddenly being offed by a killer wielding a most unusual murder weapon, a giant dildo! (Amazingly, this was the second Italian film of 1978, after "Red Rings of Fear", to feature the "death-by-dildo" device). I won't spoil the ending by giving away the identity of the killer, but it pretty much spoils itself within the first ten minutes. This one fails utterly as a giallo (or a real movie for that matter), but I guess it kind of succeeds on the level of softcore pornography--the photography is good, the scenery is pretty, and the score is decent. The actresses are also all pretty attractive, especially the one who plays the lounge singer "Stella Shining" (although I don't know that most guys would want to bury their entire face in her backside like one Italian lothario very graphically does here).I'd recommend this perhaps for giallo completists (and maybe serious porn addicts), but for everyone else. . .uh, probably not.