Kurt Smillie I have to admit that i'm slightly biased when it comes to horror anthologies. Being 9 years old and arguing with my nana at Jumbo Video because I was only allowed to rent 2 VHS movies at a time, Anthologies were always a win/win for me. To a 9 year old me, 4 short stories spread between 2 videos made 8 shorter videos essentially. So it came down to being a good mathematical choice. It also showed me from an early age that 15-30 mins were more than enough time to scare the living daylights out of someone. As well as more than enough time to establish a basic plot and likable characters. Anthologies and horror movies that centered around short stories quickly became my favourite type of movie. With that in mind, I tend to get way too excited when watching/reviewing anykind of the aforementioned movies.This movie was relatively unknown to me when I sat down to start watching it. I found this little gem while doing some research on Udo Kier for another article that I was writing and noticed it in his Acting creds. Upon further research, it seemed to have somewhat of a cult following and a love/hate relationship with people (as do most anthologies however). I found this film to be quite good. With that being said, let me dive right in.The Theatre Bizarre is comprised of 6 stories. 6 highly effective, stomach churning stories. Not your "average" horror stories by any means either. "The Mother Of Toads" sees a travelling couple crossing paths with a witch. "I Love You" deals with a lover pushed to his absolute breaking point. "Wet Dreams" is a warning for all abusive boyfriends ( with an absolutely amazing cameo by the one and only Tom Savini ). "The Accident" has a people witnessing just that. "Vision Stains" has a woman getting her fix in the most unthinkable of ways. "Sweets" is a warning that addiction is not always what it seems. These 6 stories frame the story that takes place in between segments, with Udo Kier playing the "cryptkeeper" if you will and leads into each tale of terror. This isn't an anthology for the faint of heart. Some of the topics include: infanticide, infidelity (with a giant frog no less), addiction and fetishes. The scares start off with Enola Penney (Virginia Newcombe) who seems obsessed with a decrepit old theatre across the street. After seemingly being beckoned inside, she sees a puppet on stage (Udo Kier) who begins to weave his twisted tales of lovecraftian vaginas (yes you read that correctly) and giant witch frogs that want to mate. Although some of the subject matter seems to be quite twisted and doesn't take itself to seriously, I guarantee there is at least 1 story in this movie that will stick with you long after the credits have stopped rolling.A little bit darker than your average tales of horror in the sense it's not good vs. evil, with good always coming out on top. Mostly, if not all, of these tales have an extremely bleak ending or dark sense of justice.This is another one of those movies best enjoyed with friends just for the sheer visuals portrayed in a few of the stories. "Wet Dreams" will definitely have you and your friends laughing out loud and "The mother of toads" is another one that causes either pure revulsion or gales of laughter.All in all a great escape into some horror that doesn't cause you to think too hard or follow a convoluted plot.Stay scared my friends.

loomis78-815-989034 A six part anthology horror film has an effective wrap around segment Directed by Jeremy Kasten. It tells of a young woman (Virginia Newcomb) who is drawn to a rundown Theatre where a marionette-like man (Udo Keir) introduces the stories. The first is "The Mother of Toads" based on a story by H.P. Lovecraft, this bizarre tale tells of a couple in the outskirts of France who meet an old witch (Catriona Maccoll) who entices Martin (Woodward) with a real copy of the Necronomicon. Not all is what it seems and the cursed witch and her evil powers have a surprise waiting. This is the most atmospheric and scary segment of the entire movie. Directed by Richard Stanley mixes bizarre imagery and some gooey F/X into this standout segment. "I Love You" tells of Axel (Hennicke), a paranoid lover who wants one more chance with his wife (Suzan Anbeh) before he goes off and does something bloody to her. Directed by Buddy Giovinazzo this segment keeps your interest and plays it all for the end twist which is decent and bloody. "Wet Dreams' Directed by Tom Savini tells of Donnie (James Gill) who is having dreams he can't control. This dream within a dream segment has some intense gore scenes including limbs being pulled off on a rack and a good cast but isn't very fulfilling story wise. "The Accident" Directed by Douglas Buck is a serious drama piece told through the eyes of a young girl (Melodie Simard) who witnesses an accident on the road and tries to understand death. An art house segment that is thoughtful, but ultimately out of place in this collection of stories. "Vision Stains" Directed by Karim Hussain tells of a woman (Kaniehtiio) obsessed with other people's memories. She stalks them and kills them and drains their eye fluid and injects it into her own to see their memories and tell their stories. Nasty and not very much fun this is an experimental segment with a weak payoff. The final segment is "Sweets" which is an avant-garde piece by David Gregory that truly marches to its own tune. Greg (Guilford Adams) has been sucked into an unusual relationship with candy and dessert obsessed Estelle (Goranson) who has completely changed him. When the segment starts Estelle is leaving him and the blubbering Greg is desperate which leads to him coming to a dinner party where what is on the menu is truly depraved. The blood soaked and gory ending is an eye popper that caps off this truly bizarre story. It gets high marks for originality but may turn off many mainstream horror fans. This is a new form of anthology movie which has different Directors doing each segment. Like "The ABCs of Death", this makes for a rather unbalanced affair overall. The vision, style and type of story are so varied that no wrap-around story can tie them together. You will end up liking some and not others.

Varboro 6 short stories of uneven quality full of gore, violence, sex, drug, nudity, candy, profanity and utterly mad people. never frightening but disturbing and often disgusting. Really, really, really unsuitable for young public.The stories are very different, Too bad the first one makes a bad first impression. It is the only one I found misplaced here, it is a classic horror story with a Lovecraft background and shallow mundane characters. It could be good in a longer better written and more developed version. But all the others are about a lot of madness and twisted love, culminating with the last one, surrealistic and blasphemous, ending with a perverted vision of Da Vinci last supper. I like it. A lot. Of course I wouldn't watch this kind of movies everyday but for a change it is very nice... Well, nice is not exactly the word.

tomfern This movie sat in our cabinet for about 6 months. Tonight, we decided to watch it..my husband, 20 year old son, and I.I swear, there was NOTHING on TV worth watching, so we decided to finally take it out, and give it a try.We watched the entire movie, beginning to end. Nobody in the room said anything. I started thinking about how we COULD have been watching old reruns of Benson, instead. Horror movies are one of my favorite genres...so it's not like I didn't 'get it'.This movie will follow you around for the rest of your life like a very bad smell.When it popped out of the DVD player, my husband removed it from the tray, we all looked at each other, and agreed...we threw it in the garbage.But it's still in the house, because there's no garbage pick-up tomorrow. :( That's the REAL horror.