Michael_Elliott The Toy Box (1971)** 1/2 (out of 4)Donna (Ann Myers) and Ralph (Sean Kenney) attend another one of Uncle's parties where he has people perform weird sex acts in exchange for getting to pick out a prize from "the toy box." At this party however it's quite different because Uncle is dead and the sex acts are going on around his body. Soon party members start to turn up dead.THE TOY BOX was originally released by Harry Novak and it eventually founds itself on DVD thanks to those great folks at Something Weird Video. I'm not going to sit here and call this a must-see or a masterpiece but if you're a fan of the bizarre then you'll certainly want to check it out. The film has an ultra low-budget but at the same time there's no question that it has a weird atmosphere as well as an early mix of sex, nudity, drugs and various horror elements.As far as the sexploitation goes, there's plenty of naked people messing around here as well as some really beautiful women. There's a mass orgy going on so you've got a lot of people running around naked and there are some nicely erotic moments throughout. One of the highlights happens early on when the virgin Donna pleases herself with a dildo. As far as the horror elements go, they're not the greatest in the world but we've got that low-budget atmosphere, a meat clever murder as well as plenty of fog to go around.THE TOY BOX has one major sin and that's the fact that it clocks in at 89-minutes, which is way too long for this type of film. There's really not much of a story so the film drags very badly at spots. Still, the bizarre atmosphere makes it worth sitting through.

Dries Vermeulen Acquired for distribution rather than produced by Harry Novak's sexploitation outlet Box Office International, THE TOY BOX stands out from his catalog through sheer weirdness. An unholy hybrid of horror 'n' hooters, it was both written and directed with remarkable disregard for either common sense or continuity by Ron Garcia, who would foist the sleazy slasher SWINGERS MASSACRE onto unsuspecting Times Square audiences before garnering mainstream credibility and respectability as DoP for both cinema (David Lynch's unfairly lambasted TWIN PEAKS : FIRE WALK WITH ME) and TV (GILMORE GIRLS, of all things). For fans of the unwrapped female form, it also happens to contain one of the more impressive line-ups of soft-core starlets the era had to offer.Honorary members of the swingin' set, big-haired boozy blonde Donna (Ann Myers, from the Don Davis flicks SWAMP GIRL and THE GOLDEN BOX) and her mustachioed man Ralph (Sean Kenney, who was in Bill Levey's endearing SLUMBER PARTY '57, rarely referenced beyond being the skeleton in Debra Winger's closet) are rehearsing the little psycho drama they will perform for the benefit of portly middle-aged peeper "Uncle" at his next gathering of money-grabbing sleaze balls, who receive monetary compensation in accordance to the excellence of their dirty display. Having possibly faked his own death, "Uncle" sits propped up in a chair and still talks in some weird disembodied voice without moving his lips, providing the ultimate thankless role for scuzzy character actor Jack King, who appeared in the man-eating carpet from outer space classic THE CREEPING TERROR as well as Joe Robertson's oddity MRS. STONE'S THING, best remembered for co-starring the incomparable Ed Wood as a decidedly frumpy cross-dresser. Most of the movie consists of little groups of people coming in, performing their brain-fried party piece and getting paid. Swedish sex starlet supreme Uschi Digard takes top honors for the indescribably strange spectacle of being pawed by an overly amorous bed. Yep, you read that right ! The preposterously tasteless necrophilia production number that has a butcher taking liberties with corpse Maria Arnold (a lovely brunette who made the occasional foray into fornication film territory with Lowell Picket's COZY COOL and Mike Weldon's GETTING OFF) surely ranks as a runner-up in the "I can't believe I just saw that" sweepstakes.And so it goes, with little rhyme or reason. Ostensibly taking place in a locked-up mansion, one sequence occurs in the great outdoors even though characters have already been getting antsy about being trapped inside ! People die inexplicably, sometimes to be "magically" resurrected late in the proceedings, with parts of them (heads, usually) popping up at various places in the house for cheap shock value. Eventually, all is explained in a final revelation so jaw-dropping, pushing the film headlong into science fiction territory, you will find yourself wondering just what substance Garcia was on while concocting this mess, at its most magnificent when it makes no sense whatsoever, and where you might get ahold of some ! He seems to have literally thrown in anything he could think of to make an impression on what was clearly a shoestring budget, whether it made sense or not, well, usually not, as you have surely understood by now. It's exactly that "anything goes" motto that kept me watching, completely at a loss as to what to expect next. This doesn't necessarily make for what's traditionally considered a "good" movie as it's positively riddled with amateur acting and production shortcomings, neither of which should seriously detract from audience enjoyment by the way. Sex scenes are long and reasonably graphic though still on the safe side of simulation with a formidable female cast that further includes such true fan favorites as ravishing redhead Debbie Osborne (from Corey Allen's comparably twisted EROTIC ADVENTURES OF PINOCCHIO), curvaceous Kathy Hilton (among A.C. Stephen's COCKTAIL HOSTESSES), blond beauty Casey Lorrain (who went all the way in Richard Robinson's ADULTERY FOR FUN AND PROFIT) and a sadly under-employed Marsha Jordan, uncrowned queen of the nudies, making up in acres of skin what the movie lacks in artistry or coherence.

john22900 It's the presence of Uschi Digard and Malta that make this film seeing at all. I wonder if this was the first erotic simulated sex combination horror scifi film. One thing is for sure, it's one of the weirdest wildest erotic films ever made. It plays like an x-rated twilight zone or outer limits episode. The actresses have great bodies especially Uschi and Malta. Marsha Jordan also makes a brief appearance in the orgy scene but don't blink or you'll miss her. It even borrows part of its film score from (are you ready for this) the original INVADERS FROM MARS (the classic scifi movie of the 50's!) The orgy scene is done pretty well. I'm not really giving anything away here because in every erotic film of this period there were orgy scenes and in some movies there were even two or three such scenes. Uschi has a great body and her two scenes are very erotic. The first one she basically is masturbating on top of a bed with (we assume) a guy under the sheets to make us believe the bed she is on is possessed. The second scene she is in is the orgy scene where she is having simulated sex, riding on top of a guy.

lazarillo In "Boogie Nights" Burt Reynold's porno director character has this hilarious monologue where he talks about his "dream" of making a porno film that people will sit and watch to the end even after they have. . . (well, see "Boogie Nights" if you haven't). Anyway, this is one of those rare movies. In fact, I'm sure most of the porn addicts out there would probably hate it because it's too flat-out weird to really be very erotic. But I actually admire sex movies that have the guts NOT to be the same old boring "erotic" crap. If you have seen and enjoyed "Cafe Flesh", "The Devil in Miss Jones",and "Let My Puppets Come" (the first and, to my knowledge, only hardcore porno puppet movie) you'll probably appreciate this film . On the other hand, if you're the type that eagerly lines up every week for the latest Jenna Jameson shot-on-video sex opus, don't bother.First, about the plot--there is no plot. And that's good. There is nothing more annoying than when a movie like this tries to have plot. Imagine you have an hour and half or so to kill, but every five or ten minutes you have to have sex for five or ten minutes, you probably wouldn't get much done in that time, and you certainly wouldn't develop much as a character (especially if you were being played by your average porn star who couldn't act his or her way out of a crisp paper sack). This movie is ineptly made in some ways. Obviously, the dubbing is terrible (porno movies are dubbed?--who knew). But the best you can hope for in a movie like this is a lot of interesting scenes, and this movie has them in spades. What I enjoyed most about this movie was the cinematography (not surprisingly the director worked mainly as a cinematographer), and the truly unique dream-like atmosphere it creates. This isn't a pedestrian sex fantasy--it's a cross between a warped wet dream and a really, really strange nightmare. It's basically a surrealist soft-core porno movie.