blood-machine-official Where to begin with this one. Not much to add, all reviews have covered the 5th grade story line, the slander of a great President, and some of the finest "bad acting" you've ever seen. The sad thing was, I got it, but there just wasn't anything to get. I wanted to like it when reading about it before I viewed it, and the Movie art (poster/avatar) looks cool, but that ended up being the only cool thing about it. Even if you're a big horror fan, even if you like movies like "Monster Dog" I still advise you to not waste your time on this one, you won't get it back. Go watch paint dry, you'll be more entertained. I gave it two stars instead of one just for the unintentional comedy.

TheSnarkiestBreeze Alright, this had the potential to be a really scary concept and true horror film. While it failed in that respect it succeeded by leaps and bounds at being incredibly hilarious and terribly campy. I was literally shaking with glee at the funny premises of this movie. Specifically, there is a phone-call scene between Mr. Franks and the Professor that is so perfectly timed and completely far-fetched that I spent the next week repeating it to everyone I met. Would I suggest watching this if you want a good scare? No. Not in a million years. But it does make a wonderful comedy on par with Santa's Slay and other ultra-campy "horror-esque" films.

PhillipJarodNelson If I hadn't known better, I'd swear this was penned by a fifth-grader. The plot isn't just stupid, it's just plain absurd. The acting is atrocious, every moment is dull, and what seems to be intended as gore is just a bore. I think I'd have personally green-lighted my kid sister's elementary school script for "Scream 3: The Craft" (clearly a combination of the Scream films and The Craft) before giving the "go ahead" to this steamy turd.I want my 58 minutes back.And who in God's name has been giving decent ratings to this garbage? Were they high when they watched this or have they not actually seen it at all?

Coventry The value of Peter Medak's master degree in horror is debatable, since he only just directed one terrific classic in the genre ("The Changeling") and one inferior but fun & gory sequel ("Species II"), but he nevertheless delivered a worthwhile addition to the series' second season. "The Washingtonians" has an original premise and a fairly large amount of suspenseful sequences, particularly during the first half hour when the outcome is still somewhat of a mystery. And unlike most other installments of this show, the concept has the courage to mildly provoke. The story revolves on George Washington being a bloodthirsty cannibal – even with a preference for the flesh of young children and virgins – and a small group of Virginian disciples are still practicing his murderous habits. Considering the first President of the United States is still (and always) seen as a genuine hero and founding father of the nation, "The Washingtonians" just might upset a handful of old-fashioned people here and there. Not too much, however, as the overall tone of the episode is as much blackly comical as it is creepy. In the basement of his recently deceased grandmother's house in Virginia, Mike Franks finds a note written by no other than George Washington himself. This could be a great historical discovery, wouldn't it be that the message is hugely disturbing and talks about the dismemberment & devouring of little children. When they hear about the note, the friendly old people in town promptly turn into hostile and menacing aggressors that won't hesitate to kill and eat Mike and his family in order to recover the note. "The Washingtonians" is adequately fast-paced and well directed. Highlight of the short film is unquestionably the scene in the local restaurant, where the elderly townsfolk outrageously & primitively munch large portions of red meat. Still, in a story revolving on cannibalism, I expected a bit more gore and slaughter. Johnathon Schaech is decent in the lead role, but the woman who played his wife Pam (the largely unknown Venus Terzo) impressed me a lot more. She's a talented beauty with a gorgeous rack. That might be an infantile and tasteless thing to say, but it's the truth.