Coventry With a crazy over-the-top title like "We're Going to Eat You!", you should already know not to expect a cannibal film with nail-biting suspense and/or disturbing shock sequences, but more of a deranged black comedy with absurd situations and a light-headed ambiance. It all depends on your personal sense of humor, of course, but I thought this was a truly relaxing and imaginative Hong Kong cult film! There's not much of a storyline, but the gazillion Kung-Fu fighting sequences are masterfully choreographed and indescribably spectacular. On more than one occasion during these grotesque fights, I wondered how the hell it was possible for certain people to be so ingeniously pliant! The story's hero is Special Agent 999 who, in his quest to arrest the wanted criminal Rolex (I guess he steals watches) travels to an island inhabited by a strange community of cannibalistic weirdos. Agent 999 teams up with an eccentric loner and the only vegetarian girl in town to battle his way off the island again. The script limits itself to showing how 999 & C° get captured by the cannibals and how they subsequently fight their way out of the bubbling cauldrons again, so you really shouldn't consider watching this HK-splatter flick for its intelligent dialogs or slowly oozing suspense. The fights are funny and creative, with the roller-skating sequence as the absolute highlight, and also quite gory, since many of 999's opponents meet their death on sharp cooking objects like meat cleavers and butcher knives. The acting skills of the performers are modest, but they're artists of a different breed! Norman Chu, Eddy Ko and Melvin Wong know copious amounts of exhilarating Kung Fu moves and these definitely compensate for the lack of competent plotting. "We're Going To Eat You" is honestly one of the most entertaining & unpretentious horror-comedy hybrids I ever had the pleasure of seeing. Warmly recommended to watch with a bunch of friends on a lazy Saturday evening.

julian kennedy We're Going to Eat You: 7 out of 10: Monty Python had a wonderful sergeant character that would come out during a skit and claim that the skit was getting to silly. He would have worked overtime on this film.Part Cannibal movie, part Kung-Fu flick and part slapstick comedy We're Going to Eat You has all the makings of a complete disaster. It's actually a fresh fun movie. Oh and it's definitely very silly.It actually starts out with both some serious gore scenes and some very competent kung-fu. But by the time the over-sized transvestite starts threatening our characters with a fate worse than being eaten the film devolves into a rare kind of slapstick. One that is consistently funny.The film breaks all the rules. Film characters with names like Agent 999 and Rolex should appear only in the absolute dumbest of comedies, a dainty woman eating a still beating human heart should be shocking not funny, and neither Abe Lincoln in blackface nor roller derby should ever be used during kung-fu fight scenes.Yet We're Going to Eat you has all these elements and more and still I found myself with a big broad smile on my face. This is one silly cannibalistic, kung-fu, action adventure film. Not that I necessarily want to see a serious one now I think about it.

christopher-underwood I know this film has it's fans and is possible I was just not in the mood, but I don't think so. A great start with fast and gory action that includes all manner of weapons two deaths and a guy cut in half with a saw whilst he is strapped to a table. All within the first five minutes. There is also a gory and well shot ending, but in between…fighting….slapstick comedy…oh and a 'cool' guy with a hat and a cigarette. I am never very good with Chinese humour, just a little broad for me and the endless below par kung-fu fighting…aagh! It looks OK, in fact it looks as if quite a lot was spent on it and there is a very large cast, but oh dear, no not for me.

cornjob-2 Now this is a really fun black comedy. Super secret Agent 999 and an unnamed thief/tourist (we think his name might be Harry, but we also may have misread the subtitle 'Hurry', since the subs were pretty small) stumble upon a village of cannibals in the backwaters of a Chinese jungle. 999 is on the trail of (Violent) Rodent/Rat/Ratface/Rolex (his name seems to change throughout the film), a big-time international criminal of indeterminable evil that is supposedly hiding out in the area.Of course, we find out this township is filled with cannibals long before "Harry" and especially 999 do. Both are treated as major attractions when they walk into town separately (999 got caught in a trap, so "Harry" robbed him) and are assaulted...though in different manners. "Harry" finds himself on the wrong end of some amorous advances by a huge ugly woman (seriously, she's at least a foot taller than anybody else in the film) with syphilis. 999 is attacked by whooping cannibal butchers wearing odd green masks.Anyhow, the film follows a fairly logical progression up until the climactic battle between 999 and the Chief (of police), the dictatorial ruler of the village who refuses to give out fair shares of meat. As another reviewer has mentioned here, there is quiet a bit of communist thought in this movie (critcising its abuses and, SPOILER******showing it going off the best when the system is returned to the people******SPOILER) and some philosophic though ("If you don't eat people, they'll eat you" is symbolic), but you can also just enjoy it. This is a wonderful black comedy, with a lot of physical comedy routines mixed in with the martial arts, as well as some verbal jokes. This is a very enjoyable experience if you can see it. If you enjoyed Dead Alive, Story of Ricky, or Seventh Curse, and don't mind trying to make out the smallest subtitles ever, this movie is for you.This is the second movie that the legendary Tsui Hark directed. You may remember his work from the Zu movies, A Chinese Ghost Story, Once Upon a Time in China, and Time and Tide. There's also Norman Choi (AKA Norman Tsui Siu-Keung) appearing as 999, two years before his role as Hashimoto in the monumental Duel to the Death. Eddy Ko, who was the Chief in this movie, was also in Duel to the Death as Kenji, Rumble in the Bronx, and Lethal Weapon 4 (!) as Hong. This is interesting to see where some of the people ended up. It seems this was the only movie half of the cast/crew was in, but the other half went on to great things. If you're just a completist, this is certainly a must-have curiosity. If you just want some fun with the occaisonal gore, this should also be up your alley.I just wish I knew who did choreography. When watching this movie with friends, they were slack-jawed, though it often wasn't amazing by comparison to other films I've seen. Not to say it was bad--no, the martial arts were at the very least on the level and probably on the upside, though wouldn't distinguish this film from any other myriad kung-fu flicks out there on its own (unless you count the comedy in the fights). If you're a conneseur, it won't be excellent, but it'll be competent. If you're not used to the intricacies of martial art movie fights, you should be impressed.Now to stop ranting. You shall purchase this, now!