Wizard-8 It was perhaps inevitable that the Hammer studio, after the great international success of "One Million Years B.C.", would dip into the prehistoric well again five years later. Unfortunately, things this time around aren't that much fun. If you are expecting a lot of special effect dinosaurs or other creatures - especially since the title of the movie suggests that there will be this spectacle - you will be very disappointed. Aside from a few live animals, the only creature on display is a prehistoric bear, which is accomplished by a human actor in a really bad bear costume. As cheap as the movie gets at times, that isn't the real problem. The big problem with the movie is that it's alternately boring and confusing. With no English dialogue (or even voice over narration), it's hard at times to figure out what's going on, and it's directed in a manner that more often than not feels sluggish. The only real merit to be found in the movie are some fairly impressive locations here and there.

Leofwine_draca Hammer's third foray into prehistoric adventure (following ONE MILLION YEARS BC and WHEN DINOSAURS RULE THE EARTH) is a dismal, low-rent affair, lacking in any artistic flair and any imagination. This time, the budget excluded any Harryhausen-produced dinosaurs (come to think of it, even the papier mache perils of THE LAND THAT TIME FORGOT might have come in handy), instead concentrating on the exploitation features of nudity and barbarism.Much of the fun to be had watching this film is the novelty value (although the film isn't original) of watching a bunch of hairy men and women running around, grunting and fighting indiscriminately. Not a single word is spoken during the course of the film, so events are depicted entirely through visual means of communication. This soon becomes tiring and boring to watch, as it takes about half an hour of set-up for the plot to really begin.It's a muddled affair, concerning a pair of twin brothers who are caught up in destiny and other mumbo-jumbo courtesy of an annoyingly camp shaman who hangs around for the entire length of the film (all other characters from the beginning of the film have either died or moved on by this point), waving a bloody whip and making me wish I was there to beat the living daylights out of him. Not much of the film makes sense, and the plot is minimalistic to say the least. Mostly, it's concerned with people running around and hitting each other with sticks. Like an early version of TV game show GLADIATORS, if you will.The acting is sub-par all round, with not even a name star making a guest appearance. The best they can do with is Julie Ege (THE MUTATIONS), left to supply the glamour interest, although she doesn't have a big role and pervy viewers will be disappointed that she doesn't shed her fur bikini either (although lots of other girls do, their faces conveniently obscured by hair - I wonder why?). All of the men in the film look exactly the same, with long brown hair and bushy brown beards, with the exception of the aforementioned shaman and the hero, a guy with blond hair (dyed) for a change. He is played by a young-looking Richard Branson.The special effects are used sparingly, something which we ought to count ourselves lucky for, as what brief back projection work there is, is simply appallingly bad. There is some gore (controversial for the time, tame for today's standards), mostly consisting of blood-covered people, although a standout scene involves a man's nose being bitten off by another man. To make up for the effects, there is some nice scenery work (it was filmed on location in South Africa, so expect miles of desert and sand), although it has to be said, that by the end we're sick of it.The perils in this film are hilariously bad. One bear is blatantly a man in a suit, and makes no attempt to be anything else. A tribe of squat, scary, Neanderthal men look more like they need a bath than being terrifying, while the climax involves a group of grey-painted guys with giant stone masks encircling their heads. Scary? No way. Absurd? Definitely. The fright value is somewhat diminished when one of the polystyrene masks slips forward and you see the flash of blond hair underneath. So did I like this film? Not really. It's so bad it's just, well...bad. However I will award it an extra mark because at least Hammer were trying something different instead of their usual Gothic horrors. Also, it might be worth watching for novelty value alone, but I wouldn't bank on it.

fedor8 There is a reason why the world forgot these creatures: they are dull. This is a Hammer Production which means that whoever made this movie should be struck with a hammer, several times if possible - and where it most hurts. Most people put more thought into taking a dump than these idiots have put into making this movie.Seriously now… The movie begins with some cavemen hunting an antelope-thing. Now, antelopes must have evolved a lot from those pre-historic times because they actually attack and kill people here. After that, it's time to meet the rest of the tribe: more bearded men, some fashion-models, and even a couple of very old, grey-haired grannies and grandpas. These old geezers obviously never heard about cave people not surpassing the age of 30; they refused to bow to the will of both logic and pre-historical records, so they remain alive. One of the cavemen isn't bearded; he is clean-shaven. Not quite as clean-shaven as Tarzan, The Lord of the Humanoid Clean-Shaven Ones Roaming the Jungle Since Childhood And Without a Razor, but thereabouts.What follows is the obligatory earthquake/molten-lava destruction sequence which causes a lot of our not-so-hairy friends to meet their doom. It is interesting to note that before the earthquake the fashion-models showed their breasts more. After it, they must have gotten shy or something, because they covered their chests for a while (maybe they were covered by ash so I mistakenly thought they were covered). More action follows in the form of two fashion-models wrestling in the sand; the next-best thing to female mud-wrestling, I suppose. After a good deal of the desert has been crossed, our black-haired tribe meets - how else could it be - a blond tribe. Yawn.More spellbinding stuff follows. There is that redhead fashion-model who is bothered by seeing a cave-teen kill a hedge-hog-thing. There is also the scene of a woman dying at birth: those cave-fashion-models are so frail. Eventually we get to meet an even darker -haired and -skinned tribe, i.e. an evil tribe. One of them becomes a WWF champion after he actually beats(!) a huge bear-thing in a wrestling bout. 1,2,3... and it's done: the bear is the loser. We also witness a jealous caveman miraculously recover from two major injuries: first he gets stabbed with a big spear into the thigh, yet he walks away from that as if it were but a scratch. Then he gets thrown off a cliff - onto a big rock - by the blond goodie-two-shoes caveman, yet he walks away from it as if he were thrown onto a giant sofa. It's unclear in the end whether he dies from falling off an even higher cliff or from that voodoo doll being crushed. Oh yes, voodoo was used in pre-historic times by white tribes that live in the desert and whose females were fashion-models. It's always important to learn from movies.The message of the movie is as insightful as it is educational: cave people liked to fight for local power and they loved their fashion-models, too. As if any self-respecting caveman would fight to be leader of such a sorry bunch.

kellybranson This is a great little film, Shot in Africa 32 years ago it brings back great memories for its star and my personal friend Tony Bonner........ who cares if they don't speak! Do they really have to?????????? Looking like that!!!!!