Woodyanders Michael Evans (likable William Bumiller) runs a health spa that's beset by a series of gruesome and mysterious deaths. Director Michael Fischa, working from a gleefully ridiculous script by James Bartruff and Mitch Paradise, keeps the enjoyably inane story moving along at a brisk pace, treats the silly premise with gut-busting misguided seriousness, delivers a satisfying smattering of leering gratuitous female nudity, goes delightfully overboard with the excessive explicit splatter, neatly captures the Day-Glo cheesiness of the 80's fitness craze (hot chicks in leotards, leg warmers, strenuous aerobics, and so on), and pulls out the crazy stops at the wild climax in which a Mardi Gras party gets nightmarishly out of hand. Merritt Butrick as arrogant security expert David Avery, Ken Foree as easygoing trainer Marvin, and Rosalind Cash as the no-nonsense Sgt. Stone all do sturdy work in their roles. Moreover, this film further benefits from the smoldering presences of several beautiful babes: Brenda Bakke as Michael's sweet girlfriend Laura Danvers, Alexa Hamilton as conniving backstabbing manager Priscilla Wayne, Shari Shattuck as the vengeful Catherine, and Chelsea Field as perky diver Darla. Peter D. Kaye's shivery synthesizer score hits the shuddery spot. Arledge Armenaki's slick cinematography provides a smooth glossy sheen. A hugely entertaining piece of absolute tosh.

Scott LeBrun Things are starting to go seriously awry at the Starbody Health Spa. When patron Laura Danvers (Brenda Bakke) is blinded in a sauna accident, that's merely a sign of things to come. Soon people are perishing in bizarre ways. What's the cause of all this? Could it be the computer system running things, or the weirdo, David Avery (Merritt Butrick, in his final film) who designed this damn system? Or maybe a year old suicide by self-immolation has something to do with it.The script is really rather poor, but if one is a fan of the silly cheeseball horror of the 1980s, that shouldn't matter too much. The movie itself is clumsy and crude, with less than slick direction by Michael Fischa. But there's plenty to be amused with, nevertheless, as the fairly lean 88 minute run time contains a smattering of bare breasts and entertainingly tacky mechanical and makeup effects. The acting is mostly underwhelming, to put it charitably. William Bumiller as spa owner Michael Evans is a hunky but stiff lead. Actresses such as Bakke, Alexa Hamilton, and Shari Shattuck provide delectable eye candy. The cast is full of familiar faces: Ken Foree, Rosalind Cash, Francis X. McCarthy, Chelsea Field, Joseph Whipp, Tane McClure, Vanessa Bell Calloway, and Karyn Parsons. Peter D. Kaye contributes a passable music score. The movie features what has to be one of the worst closing credits tunes ever heard by this viewer. The pacing is so-so; the proceedings get particularly goofy when the parapsychologist played by Whipp is brought into the plot. At least "Death Spa" delivers a respectably wild finale and reasonably high body count. The routine ending is pretty much par for the course.Worth a gander for completists of '80s horror.Six out of 10.

callanvass (Credit IMDb) Michael's health club is besieged with a series of terrible murders involving killer saunas and other grisly devices. Michael's wife killed herself a while before and her brother holds Michael responsible. Michael needs to stop the bloodshed before he loses all of his clients. I loved this movie. It's horrendously bad, but incredibly enjoyable. The 80's were the golden age when it comes to horror movies. There were so many delightfully cheesy horror movies coming out all the time. This movie is eerily similar to another "Gym" related slasher, called Killer Workout. I enjoyed that one as well, but this one is much better. You get what you expect when it comes to this stuff. Hot women in aerobics gear, nonsensical plotting, stupid characters, amateurish acting, cheesy 80's music; this movie has a little bit of everything, possession, exorcism, slashing, and dream sequences. We also get some amazing nudity. The shower sequence is unforgettable. It even throws in flying bathroom tiles right after the shower scene. Brenda Bakke is the typical "clueless" blonde heroine. Shari Shattruck is wonderfully delicious and OTT as the bewitched Catherine. Horror favorite Ken Foree (Dawn of The Dead) also has a bit part as a gym caretaker. The gore is very creative. Someone's head explodes by shattering glass, a hand is mangled in a blender, we get a nasty death involving weights, a face is boiled in graphic detail, a spike is impaled in someone's neck, and more. This one is heavy on the red sauce. My only real complaint about this movie is that everybody acts so complacent when they learn Catherine is at large. A dead woman is causing havoc, why are you acting like it's an everyday thing? That sort of thing is to be expected from a low budget horror film like this one, but that did bug me a bit. Overall, if you love cheesy movies like I do, this one will be right up your alley. It's highly entertaining, especially if invite a few friends over. If you can find it, it's worth it7/10

Dagon With a name like "Death Spa" one can't be too surprised what this 80's schlock-house feature will bring to the table – but that's not where my confusion was based. I was under the impression that Death Spa fell under the category of other boredom-inducing Slashers from the era, chalking it up to be another entry filled with dumb jocks, air-headed bimbos, and a gym setting…and while this film does encompass some of those elements, the direction it headed offered me a different approach to the usual kill-or-be-killed set up; a product made possible by relatively unknown Austrian director Michael Fischa – so devoid of any form of recognition that he's gone blind from residing so deep underground. A director's popularity is by no means a sure-fire way of distinguishing their movie-making talents but if I'm to be honest with my readers, there's no mistaking that Fischa should stay far, far away from the industry with a pitiful whopper like this embarrassing entry. Allow me to entertain you with a brief synopsis.Michael Evans is a recent widower and owner of Star Body Health Spa (quite possibly the dumbest name imaginable); a state-of-the-art training facility that's run entirely by a computer. Michael's former brother-in-law David is the lead programmer and mastermind behind this sophisticated machine; his relationship with Michael remains strained after his sister's suicide. The film opens with a young woman by the name of Laura Danders. After a brief conversation with one of her trainers she finds herself alone in the building and before locking up for the night, ventures into the shower room. A freak mishap occurs when the shower head spouts forth a toxic chemical, causing Laura to receive severe burns in addition to a temporary loss of vision. The police are quick to investigate while several suspects appear suspicious: David, the brother-in-law, who remains in charge of the computer system and Priscilla, the general manager who was placed at the scene of the accident later that night. Who is behind these bizarre happenings? Is someone targeting Michael? Can there be saboteurs on the prowl?If Death Spa's premise alone doesn't sound laughable enough to your liking, the story takes a turn for the worse about half-way in. Themes of the supernatural, sabotage, and demonic possession are all thrown into the melting pot and result in a convoluted telling. The only instance I can see this film gaining any notoriety for being a cult 80's hit is if it was voted into such a state by the same supporters who lobbied a release for Ghoulies IV on DVD…because surely no sane individual would promote such a waste of shelf space; even dust has a more important role than Death Spa does in our universe.Far off into the future, when we eventually destroy ourselves, an alien race will travel forth to our solar system and subsequently land on our planet. Their mission: to delve deep into our sophisticated relics. A foreign and other-worldly hand would sift through all of the clutter and retrieve a pristine-looking copy of Death Spa on VHS; an item of unknown worth to the distant travelers. In the attempt to access our supposed "archives", their advanced research will procure a device to view the 7 3/8 x 4 1/6 plastic encasement. What ensues is unspeakable - these strange beings will be faced with an hour and 28 minutes of poorly written dialog, stupid-looking special effects, and an inconclusive screenplay that any grade-schooler could have been commissioned to write via Now & Laters. Top it off with an 80's hokey soundtrack that goes nowhere in a hurry. The extraterrestrials will surmise that our race was a rather forgettable one – all thanks to the pangs of curiosity and wonderful that Michael Fischer felt when he embarked on producing this terrible film, going a step further to shamelessly employ a well-known horror icon to boost the market value. Thanks for singlehandedly bringing our civilization to its knees, Mike! I really appreciate it!Some horror fans might slide down the banister when they learn that Ken Foree plays the role of Marvin – a trainer who works at the fitness center. Foree is most certainly a horror icon as far as acting goes. His most famous role is from George A. Romero's Pennsylvania-based zombie classic, Dawn of the Dead from 1978 as "Peter". Foree also received another prominent role in 1986's From Beyond; an H.P Lovecraft short story, directed by Stuart Gordon and featured alongside fellow veteran Jeffrey Combs (Dr. Herbert West from '85's Re-Animator…another Stuart Gordon classic). For those of you unfamiliar with Ken's work from the past, you may even remember him as Charlie Altamont in The Devil's Rejects. I'll be the first to admit that I love the idolization of horror actors and actresses…I feel that these individuals are in a league of their own. Unfortunately it's people like this that are slapped on a movie cover regardless of how big their part is in a film. I'm trying desperately not to derail the point I'm making here – Foree's part in Death Spa is a small one, and even if it was more significant, the movie is too pathetic for it to matter.What would be the proper way to conclude a review for this heap of a film? Are there are any specific plot twists or incredible endings to speak of? No. The finale might strike some people as appealing but only for a split second; almost like catching a glimpse of something interesting and colorful out of the corner of your eye, only to learn that it's a beat-up cardboard box that a gaggle of vermin have been living in.