jamesraeburn2003 A martian called Wilco Roger (KENNETH CONNOR) is sent to Earth by his people to resolve a feud between communities known as Beatland and Balladisle. The dispute is over musical differences. Beatland ("If you're with it you're in") loves beat music and rhythm and blues whilst Balladisle is into the softer sentimental ballad music. Each year the top groups from both communities take part in "The Golden Guitar Contest" thrown by the reclusive Mr A&R (FRANK THORNTON) and the winner receives the prize of a golden guitar whilst the losers have their musical instruments confiscated until eight months before the next contest. As much as the two communities despise each other, they are not above sneaking into each other's territory to steal each others musical ideas. Wilco and A&R decide to resolve the chaos before it erupts into war ("It'll mean exile to planet Gonk for me" sniffs Connor) by bringing together a boy and girl, one lives in Beatland and the other in Balladisle, who love each other but the feud is keeping them apart. Wilco and A&R use their mystical power to get them to the contest and they perform a duet which incorporates both musical styles. Mr A&R declares them the winners and orders that both communities will now live in harmony and all types of music will be allowed from now on.An unbelievably stupid attempt to combine swinging sixties pop culture with a Romeo And Juliet inspired romance. The romance is bland without an ounce of Shakespearian tragedy and the comedy falls flat. I.e "I was told that there was a famous author from Earth's past" says Wilco Roger to Mr A&R. "William Shakespeare?" he asks. "Well yes he shook something or other" Wilco replies. That's about as funny as it gets. The sets are cardboard and the tunes are poor. This is a big disappointment as some of the acts that the producers, Peter Newbrook and Robert Hartford-Davis, have assembled for the film are quite impressive. For instance, The Graham Bond Organisation, contained musicians whom were later to become rock legends in their own right such as Ginger Baker with the legendary rock trio, Cream, with Jack Bruce and Eric Clapton. Bond's sax player Dick Heckstall-Smith who can be seen here would go on to join prog rock heroes Colloseum whilst Bond himself (he died in 1974) is now considered to be an important figure of the British R&B boom of that time. They try and make the most of a lackluster number written for them especially for the film, "Harmonica". Even Lulu And The Luvvers and The Nashville Teens are at a loss here too.The story was written by the director Robert Hartford-Davis and cinematographer-producer Peter Newbrook. Both of whom did some interesting work within the British horror wave with the elegant costume horror film, The Black Torment and the Peter Cushing vehicle, Corruption. But both are at a loss here like the beat groups who allowed themselves to be drafted into this rubbish.In summary, if you are thinking of buying the DVD from your local mega store for the music alone, it isn't worth it despite the caliber of some of the musicians on offer. A big disappointment but then again there were so many pop movies made in those days and a lot of them were dire.

shaggydoo1 I still have a copy of this film on VHS video, it came out sometime in the nineties as part of a series of British "musicals" including Tommy Steele and Billy Fury. I have seen it available at boot fairs and second hand record/video shops so i guess others were buying/watching at one time. This is the sort of film that can clear a house of unwanted guests leaving a hardcore of like minded (barking mad) friends to laugh themselves stupid (i know from experience) .it is that bad. like one of the other posters i think the drumming sequence is amazing but the lulu sequence with the "gay looking" backing singer clapping is hysterical "darling do try to look as butch as you can, while clapping your hands in the air, splendid!" as the other posters have noted the songs are not great the acting is awful and the story is virtually non existent so all together a truly awful film right! no! in the right mood and with friends of equal IQ (friday night IQ) its great fun. go and find a copy (somewhere in the UK) and watch. PS when i was at college i even tried persuading the film club to show this, but was turned down in favour of the french film Weekend-from the stupid to the bloody boring...

Oct Connoisseurs of dreadful movies cherish the memory of this British equivalent of "Santa Claus Conquers the Martians", stuffed with acts whose plot opposition reflects the clash between post-Beatles rock and slushy romance in the mid-1960s charts. Yes, folks, for every Amen Corner there was an Engelbert Humperdinck, and for each "Hard Day's Night" there was a pop flick like this, with comedians mugging and strutting about the set to give the mums and dads something to laugh at. It should be explained that a gonk was a round, stuffed toy whose gormless features often gaped from the counterpanes of girls' bedrooms. In the catalogue of forgotten UK musical cash-in movies, this one ranks with "Just for Fun" and "The Cool Mikado".

Joe Stemme Incredibly rare, mid-60's rock and roll sci-fi obscurity. So rare, most film books don't even LIST the title.A recent screening of the sole surviving print at Hollywood's AMERICAN CINEMATEQUE, shows that the film is no great shakes, but worth seeking out for the completists.GONKS tells the story of an Alien who comes to earth to settle a dispute between the two great nations of our future planet. One nation loves rock and roll, the other, ballads. The Alien befriends a bizarre former Record Exec (MR. A & R) who looks suspiciously like Buddy Holly (had he lived to join Elvis in Vegas!). The pair hatch a scheme to set up a Romeo and Juliet-like romance to bring the warring nations together.It works, but not before a bunch of mediocre rock songs and wretched ballads are sung, cheap interior sets are trampled and the audience's patience is worn thin. Meanwhile, on planet Gonk, a bunch of hand puppets runs amok.The biggest highlight is a thrilling 9 Drummer jam session (led by Ginger Baker) held in a prison cell (don't ask).Otherwise, it's fairly dull with only a little schlock value.