Wuchak I guess I'm the only person here who enjoyed "Carnivorous," also titled "Lockjaw: The Curse of the Kulev Serpent." Not that it was great or even really good but it delivered pretty well as an entertaining Grade-B creature-on-the-loose flick in the "Friday the 13th" mold (Jason was definitely an infernal creature btw or he at least became one as the series progressed).THE PLOT: A serpent-with-an-alligator-head is released in rural Louisianna via a Voodoo pen that's formed into a serpent/alligator with red glowing eyes. This is unique, but the main plot is the same as most creature features based on "Friday the 13th": A group of youths go out to the boonies to party while the creature takes 'em out one by one. The kids who have sex die, the ones who don't live. So, although the way the monster is released is original (and nigh incomprehensible), the main story is standard.I should also point out that rapper DMX appears as a black Rambo-type, but it's not a significant role until the 3rd act.You'll note that everyone else here only gives the film a very low rating so they all obviously think it's a total piece of excrement. However, despite this being a low-budget monster flick it delivered quite well in a handful of requisite areas: The film was shot in the cane fields of rural Louisianna; any time you get a modern flick of this ilk shot anywhere other than B.C. Canada it's a plus.Most here comment on how unlikable the youths are, but they act precisely as youths would act on vacation at a party cabin in the sticks. Most of us acted this way when we were that age, at parties anyway. Regardless, at least two or three of them aren't obnoxious in any way that I can detect.The heroine of the tale, Lauren fain who plays Sam, is good. She's not ultra-sexy or anything but she's likable with a uniquely pretty face.Victoria Vodar, who plays Ashley, is the sexpot in requisite skimpy attire. She has a dance sequence that's worth the price of admission. One reviewer referred to this sequence as "exceptionally poor;" all I can say is he has no eye for exceptionally gorgeous women or tantalizing dance sequences.The first half of the film highlights a married couple (Louis Herthum & Debra Arnott) who genuinely love each other and clearly show it. This is so rare today, particularly in these types of films, that when you observe it it's not only pleasant, it's actually shocking.The CGI creature isn't seen too often but it's serviceable, if not remarkable.WHAT DOESN'T WORK: As noted above, some aspects of the plot concerning the voodoo creature are nigh incomprehensible, but you'll get the gist of it. (What I was wondering is: What if the person with the occultic pen drew something other than a big serpent-creature killing the people? Would the curse still work or does s/he HAVE to draw a serpent-like creature? If so, how did the little boy at the beginning acquire this knowledge?).The film's not all that compelling; the storytelling could have been better.The absolute worst part of this picture is the hit-and-run scene where the kids hit a woman in their vehicle IN BROAD DAYLIGHT and NOT ONE OF THEM EVEN NOTICES! They dismiss it as possibly hitting an animal or something. Why sure! This sequence is so bad that there's no way I could possibly give the film anything above 5/10 Stars (for what it is) in good conscience.The film runs a short-but-sweet 76 minutes.BOTTOM LINE: With the exception of the lame hit-and-run sequence the film delivers pretty well as a fun low-budget creature-on-the-loose flick, nicely shot in the cane fields of Louisianna. Lauren Fain is a solid heroine with a uniquely attractive face and Victoria Vodar's awe-inducing scenes are worth the price of admission.GRADE: C+

SnakesOnAnAfricanPlain I don't keep my ear close to the hippity hop rap circuit. But wasn't DMX once respected and respectable? Hard to imagine when appearing in crap like this. Obviously I enjoyed it, it had a poor CGI monster, some terrible acting and some of the worst lines I've ever heard. However, even bad has been done better. Unlike Komodo, Carnosaur 3 or Mega Shark vs. Giant Octopus, I wont even bother rewatching this one. At least, not for a while. If you love your monster movies, and have gone through the regular SyFy channel schlock, you may consider giving this a view."I'm sorry about your wife but that was an accident. You drew us to death, that sucks."

Paul Andrews Lockjaw: Rise of the Kulev Serpent starts as a young boy named Alan (Brendan Aguillard) & his friend Becky (Abby Rao) steal the 'Kulev Stick', a powerful ancient Voodoo relic from a house nearby. Back home & Alan uses the stick which is actually a pencil to draw a giant Kulev Serent which comes to life & kills his abusive drunk father (Tony Senzamici). Jump forward a couple of decades later & Alan (Louis Herthum) & Becky (Lisa Arnold), now all grown up, are married. While collecting the post Becky is hit & killed by a huge 4x4 driven by five out of town teens who are on their way to a camp, incandescent with rage Aan uses the Kulev Stick once more to draw the Kulev Serpent who once more comes to life to wreck revenge on those who has wronged him. As the Kulev Serpent sets out to kill the teens only rocket launcher wielding local Voodoo guy Nick (executive producer DMX) can save them & stop the Serpent for good...According to the IMDb this had a working title of The Corn Patch even though character's mention that the setting is in fact a Cane field on several occasions, directed by Amir Valinia I was going to describe Lockjaw: Rise of the Kulev Serpent as the sort of 'Creature Feature' that even the Sci-Fi Channel would be embarrassed to show but then I realised that the Sci-Fi Channel will show anything without any embarrassment but I will say it's pretty much right down there with the worst 'Creature Features' the Sci-Fi Channel has screened. The script is a bit of a mess really, for a start I don't care what anyone says I do not believe that you could hit a woman with a car & not one of the five people inside notice. How did Alan know what to draw? At the start he seemingly stole this Kulev Stick which is in fact a pencil & drew the Kulev Serpent in intricate detail with his father in it's mouth which actually happens in reality but how did Alan know this would happen? A lucky guess or just bad plain dumb plotting? You decide. Then there's this 'camp' that the teens apparently drive to, it doesn't look anything like a camp at all, it's a farmhouse in the middle of a Cane field! Then there's the DMX character who is a bad-ass Voodoo dude with a rocket launcher, I can see an Oscar nomination coming his way... The pace isn't too bad & at least it's short lasting not much more than 80 minutes but as a whole the silly plot, the clichéd & often annoying character's, the lack of horror or gore, a poor climax (what it that lamp with forks stuck on the end all about that Sam carries about?) & a lack of originality means you can skip this one.At least the director keeps the camera still & steady as well as not using any annoying colour filters or bleaches so it looks alright if a little cheap. The CGI effects are quite poor by they are used sparingly & don't linger on screen for too long which does help. I think this is the only film I have ever seen where the first credit on screen is the 'directed by' one, even before the title of the film & the cast the 'directed by' credit comes up which is odd because it's almost always the last. It really doesn't make any sort of difference but it's so unusual I thought I would mention it. There's next to no gore, a brief impalement & a decapitation but nothing else. There's no nudity or scares either but then you probably guessed that already.According to the IMDb this had a budget of about $4,000,000 which I find impossible to believe, this is not a $4,000,000 film & if it is where did all the money go? It looks cheap, there are few effects, no big name actors & no set-pieces either. Apparently shot in Port Allen in Louisiana. Despite DMX getting top billing he barely features & only really appears at the end while Wes Brown is not the same as the current Manchester United & England international footballer Wes Brown.Lockjaw: Rise of the Kulev Serpent is a pretty rock bottom 'Creature Feature' with the usual poor CGI, an even sillier than usual plot, lack of proper blood, gore or action & a highly annoying teen cast who you pray will all get killed off by the twenty minute mark. This is just poor all round really & is right down there with the rubbish the Sci-Fi Channel usually put on.

Newsense I don't know why I do it to myself with these crummy low budget horror flicks. I could say that this is the worst low budget horror movie in 2008 but the year is not over yet.Spoiler: Here is the whole movie in a nutshell: Paul Cade as a child steals a voodoo pen from a voodoo priest and drew a picture of a snake eating his father and the magical pen brings the snake to life and it does what it was drawn to do. Years later Paul grows up and is married and his wife is killed by hit and run accident caused by brainless suburbanites that make those horny teens in all those Friday The 13th flicks look like geniuses. Paul draws the snake again and it comes to life trying to kill all those kids and everybody in their path. Paul calls on the help of Nick(played by rapper DMX), the son of the voodoo priest whose pen Paul stole. to stop what he started.Opinion: This movie is such a wannabe of Anaconda its pathetic. Think about it. Anaconda is about a killer snake, this "movie" is about a killer snake and they both star rappers in them. The only difference is that Anaconda had some form of suspense and Jon Voight to steal the show. The acting here is atrocious. Everybody is so wooden that you want to slice them open and count the rings. Even DMX gives a wooden performance here and I didn't even think that that was possible! I cant blame him though. The script must have been written by overzealous tween-agers because it sure sounds like it and the special effects are terrible as well. The CGI snake looks like dog droppings molded and shaped to look like a snake. every aspect of this movie fails. If you like watching bad movies try something else. This is not even so bad its good camp. Its so bad its shameful camp and is bad enough to make you question your own existence. Don't waste 76 minutes of your life like I did. Learn from my mistake and try something else!