rachelackersley This movie is awful. Dane Cook sucks. Dane Cook is the least funny "comedian" ever. I put "comedian" in quotes like that because I don't really think he is a comedian at all. Just like I would say Dane Cook is not an actor but an "actor". He is a "comedian" and an "actor". His stand-up comedy is horrible. His acting in this movie is at least as bad as Dennis Rodman's, and that is saying something I am sure you will agree if you have ever seen Dennis Rodman's "acting". Dennis Rodman is probably as good at doing standup comedy as Dane Cook is at "acting". This movie is awful. They couldn't even spell the title right. Simon Says this movie is one of the worst ever.

sgarra2008 John Pinette, although larger than I have ever seen him was entertaining. I love Dane Cook, but if I were him, I would take this movie off my resume. Rodman should stick to basketball and the freak show, because he can not act. I won't say that this is the worst movie I have ever seen, because I have seen BloodSuckers (Michael Ironsides) and DogSoliders. But, like those movies, it is a train wreck, no matter how awful it gets you just can't stop watching it. The wire work was horrible. Rodman can't even pretend he knows martial arts, John Pinette's stunt double was more convincing than Rodman. One of my biggest pet peeves is poor movie editing. For instance, at the end of First Wives Club count how many different pairs of shoes Goldie Hawn is wearing in the last seen. I counted four different pairs. In this movie, can you count how many times Rodman's bike changes in a single scene. We counted four in the the first scene of the movie, an three in the scene where he is escaping the blast in the tunnel. Did anyone else notice that the "dad" in this was trying way to hard to look like Robert Redford? This movie isn't even good enough to become a cult classic.

tonysharp Simon Sez is one of the dumbest movies I've ever seen. Its another one of those monstrosities that you have to force yourself to watch only so you can brag to your friends about how you were able to "watch the whole thing", and to see their shocked expressions after you say that. Other than that, there is no reason to force yourself through the consistent ineptness of this poor excuse for an action adventure.First off... It stars Dennis Rodman. That alone should be enough to turn most people away, but because I'm Mr. "Open To All Movies", I put in the video and watched it anyway.Since my brain has an automated trash filter and defragger (I still run on NTFS), I only remember small pieces of the film. One scene that stood out, and shouted to me like an old woman with a bad hip, was the scene where master martial artist Xin Xin Xiong and some woman (I forgot her name) were engaging in a tightly choreographed fight. But because Rodman was the "star" and didn't want to be upstaged up by his "co-stars", a way had to be found to bring him into this action. But Rodman can't fight. So their solution was to just have Rodman stomp into the scene like Frankenstein and claw, pounce, and push his way through the fight. And this didn't just happen once. It happened many times...Before I start cursing I'll just end my review here.Don't see this movie. Spare yourself the pain.

Torgo_Approves (r#40)TV 3, a "quality" TV channel here in Sweden, recently decided to have a bottom 100-marathon and showed BOTH Gigli and this turkey during the same night. Now, I don't know any of TV3's producers personally, but it seems to me like they're torturing us rather than entertaining us. Simon Sez is a "comedy" so offensively stupid, it makes the Scary Movie series look like Bergman films. It seems to have been written by six year olds, for six year olds, but the foul language and violence would be too much for kids, so what was the target demographic, anyway? Oh right, idiots.Dennis Rodman, professional basketball player (which is always a good sign) stars as Simon, a secret agent of some kind. He takes part in a kidnapping gone wrong. I won't waste any more time explaining the plot because it couldn't have taken more than a few seconds to write it. Simon is accompanied on his mission by annoying white sidekick Nick Miranda (played by excruciatingly unfunny Dane Cook), who desperately wants to be Jim Carrey, and a sexy Emma Sjöberg.This is not a good movie. It's over-flooded by dumb action, hilariously retarded lines, and annoying characters. My favourite is the English/French/something villain Jérôme Pradon who wants to blow up the Eiffel Tower ("Why? Because it's big and it's beautiful and I'm tired of looking at it!"). Best line since "Frankly, my dear, I don't give a damn". Seriously.Even the special effects suck. Avoid! And TV3, how about a Coleman Francis marathon next Sunday?