Scott LeBrun Outlaw Joe Baker (Dean Martin) wants to do something momentous in his life. To further this end, he agrees to acquire a Gatling gun from a fellow outlaw, Johnny Cobb (Albert Salmi), in exchange for any woman Joe can find. (Johnny is starved for female companionship.) Johnny starts "holding up" stagecoaches, looking for women, and one day he snatches Mary Anna Morgan (Honor "Pussy Galore" Blackman). The catch is that she turns out to be the never before seen wife of Joes' longtime nemesis, Cavalry colonel Morgan (Brian Keith).Amiable Western comedy never really does deliver "something big" itself, but it's easy enough to take for an hour and 49 minutes. The script by James Lee Barrett isn't really that funny, or that witty, but it does have its moments. Director Andrew V. McLaglen has some fun with the material, as does the well chosen cast, who provide the main reason to watch this romp. Critics have excoriated it over the years, but in truth it's not all that tasteless. By and large, the people who perish are lowlife bad guys, and the violence is never particularly gory. Everything is gorgeously photographed by Harry Stradling Jr. The music score by Marvin Hamlish is so ridiculously peppy that it's quite amusing.Dino is good in the lead, and Keith is a solid straight man in the face of some real buffoonery from the people around him. Lovely ladies Blackman, and Carol White as Joes' would-be fiancée Dover, add to the attractiveness of the scenery. Lots of familiar faces fill out the supporting cast: Ben Johnson, Don Knight, Joyce Van Patten, Denver Pyle, football star Merlin Olsen, Robert Donner, Harry Carey Jr., Judi Meredith, Edward Faulkner, Paul Fix, David Huddleston, and Bob Steele. There's also an endearing canine co-star for Dino who rides in a pouch strapped to his horse."Something Big" offers nothing special, but it's reasonably entertaining for the duration.Six out of 10.

zardoz-13 Andrew V. McLaglen's lackluster western comedy of errors "Something Big" amounts to nothing big. This hokum is about as bloodless as you can imagine, and McLaglen and "Undefeated" scenarist James Lee Barrett have contrived a dusty southwestern horse opera about a free-wheeling gunslinger, Joe Baker (Dean Martin) who rides around with cute doggie in a bag and 30-year cavalry Colonel Morgan (Brian Keith of "The Deadly Companions") on the verge of retirement. Baker (Dean Martin of "Five Card Stud") plans to do 'something big' that requires the use of a Gatling gun. The man who can deliver a Gatling gun to Baker wants to be paid off with a woman. Johnny Cobb (Albert Salmi of "Lawman") doesn't want to be paid off in money. Cobb's request drives poor Baker crazy because he cannot find a suitable woman for this quirky lug of a guy who lives with a bounty on his head and cannot set foot outside of his bailiwick. Meantime, the first decent woman that Baker finds for Cobb turns out to be Mary Anna Morgan (Honor Blackman of "Shalako"), the wife of Colonel Morgan. Morgan leads a detachment from the fort to recover his wife. As it turns out, Mary Anna has a soft spot for Baker and vouches for him to her stiff collared husband. He wants to confiscate the Gatling gun, but Mary Anna informs him that he has been retired for two days. Baker appropriates the Gatling gun, hightails it to Mexico, and wipes out a bandit stronghold that belongs to the most notorious bandit, Emilio Estevez (José Ángel Espinoza of "Big Jake"), who supposedly has a cache of treasure in a mission. At the same time, Baker is being stalked by Dover MacBride (Carol White of "A Prize of Gold"), a woman from Pittsburgh that he promised to marry."Something Big" benefits from a seasoned cast of western veterans, including familiar faces like Bob Steele, Edward Faulkner, Ben Johnson, Denver Pyle, Harry Carey, Jr., and Paul Fix. The saving grace is that this horse opera looks like a western. This shouldn't be surprising when you consider that McLaglen had done five westerns with John Wayne. The real shooting doesn't start until the final reel, but it is nothing like a profane, blood-splattered, Sam Peckinpah western. Everything before the big shootout at the end involves Baker planning his incursion against the dastardly Mexicans. Martin saunters through the role without a care in the world. You can tell when his stunt man is performing his riding chores. Sometimes, we do get to see Dino riding hard across the terrain. Basically, what we have in a cowboy version of "The Rat Patrol" with Dino in the back of a wagon cranking the handle on a multi-barreled Gatling gun and mowing down Mexicans by the dozens. If you've seen any John Ford westerns, such as "She Wore a Yellow Ribbon," you can spot the obvious reference that McLaglen and Barrett make to that classic John Wayne western. The Marvin Hamlisch orchestral soundtrack sounds like McLaglen and he were trying to imitate Burt Bacharach, complete with a song. According to McLaglen, the company that released "Something Big" went bankrupt and "Something Big" languished at the box office. This was Martin's second-to-last western, with "Showdown" qualifying as his last sagebrusher. If you enjoy bland westerns that refuse to take themselves seriously, "Something Big" is for you.

whynotwriteme Whatever happened to light-hearted western movies like 'Something Big'? Now, whenever Hollywood manages to let a western slip out among the 'Die Hard' ripoffs and teen romances, they are always ponderous, grim, indictments of the murderous whiteman's persecution of indians or sombre stories about tormented gunslingers. By 90's movie standards, nobody in the Wild West seems to have ever cracked a smile. 'Something Big' is a movie from the good old days of politically incorrect westerns. Dean Martin plays a likeable outlaw with plans for something big to finish his career in the west. Plans involving a Gatling gun, a fortune in gold, a kidnapped wife of a cavalry officer, Apaches and Mexican bandidos galore. The movie has a cheerful adventurous mood to it, with all kinds of touches of atmosphere like Dean Martin's pet dog Scruffy, the skeleton propped up in the saloon, and the John Ford-like dialogue between Brian Keith as the cavalry officer and Ben Johnson as his scout. 'Something Big' has almost the same mood as a pirate movie, only set in the west. An exciting story with likeable scoundrels after a fabulous treasure. I remember seeing this on TV as a little kid and wishing my life could be like that of Dean Martin's character in this movie. If you love westerns and do not feel like watching a big important 'message' movie like Dances With Wolves or a revisionist gunfighter story like Unforgiven, you should try to find this film on TV. It is a shame that 'Something Big' never made it to video. Western fans need more fun, guilt-free entertainment. I disagree COMPLETELY with Leonard Maltin's review, and I am sure all other real western fans will too.

Lindy-11 I loved this movie when it came out! Dean Martin made a suave cowboy. I loved the comedy lines all throughout the movie. Don Knight did a great straight man to Dean's comedic one. But Dean Martin and his little dog stole the show. This movie had a killer cast with Ben Johnson, Brian Keith & Honor Blackman. Dean Martin came out west to do "Something Big" before he married Don Knight's Sister from the old Country. Well, he was having so much fun in the old west...the Sister came looking for him. With time running out he needed to trade a woman for the big gattling gun so he could get the treasure from the "Bad" Mexican Bandiditos! So what does he do, he accidently get's the wife of the Army Fort's Commander. Now everyone is after Dean!!! You can't rent this one...because it was never released to be taped! If you want to see it you will have to wait until some movie channel decides to show it...when ever that will be!!!!!!!!