Tracy Winters 0 stars for this goofy pirate flick which features Kristy McNichol (I call her Krusty McCluckol) as a lame dreamer with designs on being popular.Cliché gay pirate jokes, dumb songs, atrocious choreography, bad acting, incompetent direction, confused plotting, and general miscasting are some of the problems encountered when viewing this film. How McCluckol secured this role is beyond logical thinking. Chris Atkins as the male lead is at least pleasant to ogle. Too bad the same can't be said for Mucknuckle who resembles a sleepy chicken with a bad haircut.A prime example of a studio having leaped before they looked.

WakenPayne First and foremost, yes. This is not my taste in movies, keeping that in mind however my complaints that I'll list would be said whether it was my taste or not. I saw this movie today because my brother hailed it as one of the worst, period. In my opinion despite the fact I think it's bad it's not worst movie ever made material.The plot is that Maybelle is at a Pirate-themed... thing it's never really explained and she meets a man who is never given a name and yet he begins to fall in love with her and when he invites her to do some kind of scuba diving but other girls go instead and leaves Maybelle to go in her own boat to find them but is swept ashore.In her dream a pirate ship run by the Pirate King does whatever Pirates do and a man named Fredrick decides to leave. Meanwhile Maybelle is the youngest of her family, fathered by a Major General and one thing leads to another and it's contrived love at first sight for Maybelle and Fredrick... They don't even exchange a line of dialogue. Then the pirates arrive... fort some reason and they find out that Maybelle's father is a major General. Then we find out that the pirates stole the family fortune and it's up to Maybelle and Fredrick to find out where it is by... Going aboard the Pirate King's ship and get him to flex his back.Then after they find it and the pirates somehow know they've stolen it and go back and fight them for it, twice. The first time we find out that Fredrick was born on a leap year and therefore only 5 years old and thus indebted to the pirate King. Then they come back to fight again. Then there's the ending... Maybelle then uses the power of her dream to give her a happy ending out of complete nowhere and then she wakes up on shore to get married to Fredrick/that guy at the beginning and they barely know each other.Okay I get that there are real life character parallels to Maybelle's real life and her dream, the problem is that we are never given enough time to know any of the characters in the real world. If I were to compare it to The Wizard Of Oz movie, in that one we are given time to know the characters and we know why in Oz Dorothy chooses them to be the real life parallels. In this movie you can just as easily put Paul Hogan as The Pirate King and it would make just about as much sense.Then there are the songs. It's not that I didn't like any of them... although that certainly doesn't help, but how many times they burst out into song is insane. Things that should take up just a few seconds of dialogue take up almost 5 minutes of song time. Not to mention that most of them look like cheap music videos from the 70's.Then there are the jokes... If you can call them that. Seriously, the jokes are horrible. There's a Star Wars reference and when the Pirate King asks Fredrick how he used the Force and turned his sword into a lightsaber his response was that he "saw it in a movie once"... There wasn't any other delivery just "I saw it in a movie once." I know that was meant to be funny but it isn't.This movie in my opinion is awful. I would only recommend it to a combination of Gilbert and Sullivan fans and people who go nostalgic over anything from the 80's (preferably both). However this movie is really dated and the jokes don't really work and there are too many songs. If you are one of the people who I mentioned might like this movie then I would suggest to check it out. If you aren't a Gilbert and Sullivan fan nor someone who goes nostalgic over anything 80's then you would most certainly not like this movie.

clubgus A bit of Australian Comedy from back in 1980's, featuring some of the most nicest places in Australia including Melbourne, Werribee Mansion, Polly Woodside, Palm Beach, Sydney where Home and Away is filmed. I haven't watched the stage show but these characters are pretty Funny Gary McDonald with his police inspector impression, the sissy police officers, the major General etc.. It is a quirky film and things don't make sense look in the scene where Mabel and Fredrick are kissing at the beach landing there is a Rock with graffiti on it. Much of the film is a Dream so allot of the things you see don't make sense but you just take the film not seriously and you will enjoy it. The Songs are catchy and from watching the film it has inspired me to visit Werribee Mansion in Victoria and Polly Woodside in Melbourne City. A Classic Movie leave reality at the door and just take in some great 1980's humour.

catuus Well, I hate to admit to being wrong, but there actually is a worse Sullivan & Gilbert adaptation than "Gentlemen of Titipu". This one seems to pin its hopes on the presence of some delectable eye candy – namely, Chris Atkins, fresh from taking his clothes off in "Blue Lagoon". This is a performance that "runs the emotional gamut from A to B" – as the brilliant Dorothy Parker once snipped about the equally brilliant Katharine Hepburn.Don't worry, friends; it goes downhill from there.The film in question goes by the title "The Pirate Movie". The reason for the title is, apparently, that the people responsible have pirated some pieces of Sullivan's "Pirates of Penzance" – just enough to make you wish they had pirated the whole operetta and jettisoned the drek they added to the maimed remains they used.Appearing in this wanton travesty are a bunch of little- and un-knowns who couldn't have salvaged the production even if it was good. Which of course it isn't. So the whole baggage sinks under its own dead, dead, dead, boring weight. Well, it wasn't their fault, really; it was a job for a lot of people who, judging by their credits on the IMDb, didn't get many. The names are withheld to protect the presumed innocent.The story of "The Pirate Movie" follows the general and well-known outline of "Pirates of Penzance" (which is easy enough to look up if you don't know it) – although with a number of rather stupid changes that sap it of its original vitality. To substitute for this vapidity, a composer was hired to write some "up" music. His talent, if any, is scarcely on display. What we get meager quotations from some of Sullivan's "Penzance" tunes – although not always readily recognizable and usually not in the spirit of the original. Then there is a lot of stuff in a two-bit modern idiom that is also wholly out of touch with Sullivan's originality and wittiness.This film is so awful on so many levels it's hard to find anything positive to say about it. The color is vibrant; that is to say, wasted on what it shows. The sound is at least too good for the material.Ah, well. At least Atkins runs about in descamiado mode for most of the film, which I suppose is some slight compensation. And not enough. Avoid this turkey.