ptrschckl ***SPOILER ALERT***Thank the powers-that-be that there's no more that a touch of Satan in this movie -- it's more than enough. From the incredibly long opening credits all the way to the end, this movie is mostly empty space. Our heroine's head is also mostly empty space, but she's pretty anxious to 'get out on her own' (we all know what THAT means) so our hero -- in a moment which is unusually realistic as far as this film goes -- takes an instant liking to her.They meet after he stumbles onto her family's farm where they introduce themselves to each other -- TWICE! We get to meet her family which consists of her creepily pleasant mother and her sweaty, cider-obsessed father who apparently finds himself VERY amusing as he chuckles a lot.After all the introductions, our heroes (Jody and Melissa, by the way [Jody's the guy]) take walks, meet Melissa's prune-faced Great-grandmother, go shopping, inform the viewers that fish live in water (who knew?), say each other's names a lot and go hang out at Melissa's private cabin. This is where Melissa does her witchcraft. While they're there, Grandma kills a deputy sheriff and gets sent to bed. Then the family locks Jody in the barn. Being the bright young man that he is, he starts suspecting that something is weird about this family.In a flashback, we learn that Melissa saved her sister Lucinda from a particularly mellow bunch of witch-burners about 120 years ago. Selling her soul to Satan was clearly the best way to do this, so now she's not aging, her sister won't die and she's still stuck with this stupid family. So now Lucinda is posing as her Great-grandmother until the deal can be broken. A good start to the deal-breaking comes when Melissa sets fire to Lucinda.After all this, Jody is sworn to secrecy and goes on his merry way. He gets pretty far, but then remembers he still didn't get any from Melissa, so he turns around. They roll around in the grass for awhile, and for some reason the deal is broken by that. Who would've guessed that breaking a pact with Satan could be so much fun? As a result, Melissa's actual age catches up to her. Jody's not too impressed with her new look, so he sells his soul to Satan to age her down again. So now, in an uplifting ending for all ages, these two morons are still tangled up with Satan. Happy trails!This movie is almost unwatchable. The dialogue is bad enough, but the pauses in-between are what really make you want to peel off your own skin. Even if you like so-bad-it's-good movies, only watch this film if you have A lot of patience. If you don't, try this film a-la Mystery Science Theater 3000.I give the film a 2/10 just because they managed to complete the thing.The MST version gets 8/10 -- one of the best episodes I've seen.

otisfirefly2001 This is completely stupid. I joke to film making everywhere.::The main problems::Acting is so terrible, it actually made me cry when I heard the dialogue being spurted out of the actors mouths. Not one of the actors could act and I bet they never got another job afte that. though they were probably too busy doing drugs to complete any other movies. The story is very lame, stupid, and annoying. Choke full of crap that would make even the most amateur film maker want to stop making movies. We get something in the story about witches and Satan, but nothing really pans out at all. It all just falls flat within the first three minutes of this lame movie, but by then you have probably turned the channel already. Which if I was not viewing the MST3K version, I proboby would have done within the first minute of this trash!The mood is overdone completely and really goes into overkill within the last few minutes of the movie. I think they tried to set too much mood and didn't take enough time on the plot, which might of helped this movie.The special effects are lame, and really only consist of bad face make-up which is really very lame. Though it is probably just the time period and might not have been helped. I do not want to recommend this movie to anyone....At anytime....Anywhere. This movie is very lame, and a venture down amateur film making lane! If you take a stop on crap film making street first of course.Do not see this movie unless it is with the help of Mike Nelson, Crow T. Robot, & Tom Servo. You can find it on Mystery Science Theater 3000 Volume 5. You might be sorry if you do not view it with them, as it is a headache inducing movie.

SERVOMOORE Seriously, if it weren't for the fact that the DVD of this MST3K Episode contained the trailer, I would not believe this got any distribution.I'm not saying this film had no merits: some cinematography ain't bad, the music's relatively cool, and.... it's just that everything is so bad that it completely blots out those assests to this film, driving this film down to Hell where it belongs. I spent the whole thing wishing it would end with an atom bomb detonating, and taking everyone out. I actually bear the lead characters a grudge: shame on you, Jody guy, you were boring and apparently arrogant enough to assume your fifty year-old guy's face was handsome enough you didn't need to act, and Emby(Melissa), I now take pride in my dreckiest films because they don't include YOU! How could you guys not see what a terrible script you were backing? Hmmm?Now, the old homicidal (Promicidal) woman, you make that Crenshaw guy in Boggy Creek Two seem likable and dimensioned: I wasn't supposed to like you, but you went too far. Bad direction, bad characters, and most annoying, this script is ARROGANT in it's anti-Christianity. look, guys, your ability (what little there is) to make regular people seem bad doesn't prove a thing. You are in no position to criticize anyone else. Rating: .5/4, good for making fun of and destroying.

thenintengenius Like most who've commented, I saw this film with the help of MST3K, and I have to admit that this is one of the very few films I couldn't watch without it (along with the Coleman Francis trilogy and Manos).There is so much wrong with this film that it's hard to start. The plot (if it can really be called that) is a retread, a boring premise (house with dark secret) that's been done to death in every other horror film ever made. The male lead, Jody (yes, JODY), is an ineffectual dope whose most memorable contribution to the film is yelling "Zah!" The "villain," Lucinda, is an ugly troll-like hag who can only spout gibberish when she's not busy hacking useless side characters into giblets. The love interest, Melissa, is a empty-headed ditz whose most enjoyable moment is showing Jody where "the fish lives" (and, quite fittingly for this film, is the character with the "dark secret").Combine all this with horribly stilted dialogue (it feels like almost 3/4s of the film is pauses, either between lines or between words) and pacing somewhere between "cold molasses" and "glacier" (not to mention the fact that the first verse of "Amazing Grace" is used about 20 times in the film) and you have a movie that doesn't even manage to be affably mediocre or so-bad-it's-good, much less scary. Avoid this film at all costs, unless MST3K are shielding you from this film's dreadful slowness.