Transylmania

2009
Transylmania
3.8| 1h36m| R| en| More Info
Released: 04 December 2009 Released
Producted By: Voltage Pictures
Country: United States of America
Budget: 0
Revenue: 0
Official Website: http://www.transylmaniathemovie.com/
Synopsis

Spoof horror in which a group of college kids do a semester abroad in Romania and realise that if the partying doesn't kill them, the vampires just might!

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Claudio Carvalho The moron American student Rusty (Oren Skoog) arranges a student exchange program for his closest friend and him to study in Romania for six months and meet his Internet girlfriend Draguta (Irena A. Hoffman) to have sex with her. He travels with the potheads Pete (Patrick Cavanaugh) and Wang (Paul H. Kim); Pete's girlfriend Lia (Natalie Garza) and his twin sister Danni (Nicole Garza); the naive and romantic Newmar (Tony Denman) and his easy and stupid girlfriend Lynne (Jennifer Lyons); the nerd Brady (Joshua 'Worm' Miller) and the crook Cliff (James DeBello). His friends actually intend to party and score the Romanians. While traveling by train to Razvan, they learn that five hundred years ago, the vampire Radu lost his beloved Stephania, whose spirit was trapped in a music box. Radu has kept Stephania's body and has been seeking the music box to bring Stephania back. Meanwhile, a Radu's minion retrieves the music box but is deadly wounded by the vampire slayer Teodora Van Sloan (Musetta Vander) and he drops the object in a gypsy's basket. Newmar buys the music box and gives it to Lynne. When they arrive at the university, they are welcomed by the Dean Floca (David Steinberg) that is a dwarf. Meanwhile Rusty meets Draguta and finds that she has a horrible hunchback and the dean is her father. Further, Dean Floca is a psychopath that keeps a torture chamber in the dungeon of his house. When Lynne opens the music box, she is possessed by Stephania and Radu is identical to Rusty, and the brainless American students get into a messy situation.I have already written that parody movies are always of the type "love or hate" it, and "Transylmania" is no exception. I am not intellectual, I love cinema as culture, but also as entertainment, so I like them. Further, when I see this type of spoof, I know exactly what I am going to see: scatological jokes, funny and surrealistic situations and definitely a movie that will never be indicated for an Oscar. This is the type of movie that you must shut down your brain and start laughing.What I do not understand is some comments of persons that should never watch this type of movie. What do they expect to see when they go to the movie theaters or buy / rent a DVD or Blu-Ray entitled "Transylmania"? An art movie, with hidden messages, an epic, a classic or a film with politically correct jokes? Honestly, if I did not like this genre, I would never spend my time watching it and writing bad reviews. My vote is six.Title (Brazil): "Transylmania – Uma Universidade de Arrepiar" ("Transylmania – A Shivering University")
Coventry All through my viewing of "Transylmania", I kept picking my brain where I knew the names of David and Scott Hillenbrand from. I knew it had to be horror-related, but seriously couldn't place them. Afterwards, upon checking here on this website, it finally made sense! They are the genius minds behind "King Cobra" and "Demon Island". Now, both those movies really sucked but at least they were serious intended horror attempts, whereas "Transylmania" is a spoof of the genre. Not only have we been saying way too many horror spoofs coming out in the last couple years, but there also aren't any valid excuses in case a spoof is embarrassingly bad. The good news is that "Transylmania" definitely isn't any worse than "Stan Helsing" or "Scary Movie 4". The bad news is that it sucks nevertheless and hardly contains any juvenile and sexist gags you haven't seen approximately three dozen of times before. As part of a student exchange program, a bunch of idiotic college kids travel to Romania for one semester. One of them is anxious to finally meet his sexy Romanian internet girlfriend while the other just intend to party hard and score with the easy local beauties. Rusty's romantic plans backfire as it turns out the lovely Draguta has a hideous hunchback and a psychopathic midget father and the rest of group runs into trouble with ancient vampire curses and bodily possessions. I chuckled perhaps a total of four or five times throughout, but the rest of the film was derivative and infantile. The acting performances are all neutral, with the exception of the late David Steinberg as the crazy dean with a dungeon full of torture devices, and the Hillendbrand clearly know as little about comical horror as they do about cheesy horror.
Roland E. Zwick If studios could do product recalls, the witless and inept "Transylmania" would be high on the list of returnable merchandise. This truly pathetic stab at horror movie comedy involves a group of brainless college students from America who enroll in a summer school session held in a vampire-infested castle in Romania.The incoherent storyline is matched by the amateurish acting and low-grade humor, which frequently reaches back - badly - to old Marx Brothers and "I Love Lucy" routines for laughs.Actually, the movie has seemingly saved all its clever and funny parts for an epilogue that runs all of six minutes. If the other ninety had been half as good, we might have had something here. But, any way you slice it, "True Blood" this ain't.
Heislegend Yeah, sure...horror comedies are nothing new but usually they tend to have at least some elements from both genres. Transylmania is obviously not trying to be a horror movie, but it's not really a comedy, either. Sure, it tries, but it probably won't get more than a few chuckles out of you. That's what I don't get here. If you're making a horror themed comedy then you've got a ton of things to work with. This film just kind of falls on it's face at almost every opportunity. It feels like a bad mash up of all the worst aspects of a National Lampoon movie mixed with the eye-rolling stupidity of some of the more unsuccessful modern teen sex comedies. Simply put, it's just stupid...and not in a good way.