Kingkitsch Really, how many movies feature ibexes, let alone a mutant ibex-fly that gets a drill in the noggin by a feisty granny? This may entice you to watch "Blood Glacier" next time you see it in the Netflix lineup of terrible, terrible horror/scifi movies. If you dimly remember having heard about this Alpine tale of terror, it's worth a six-pack and a bag of chips.While beautifully photographed, offering amazing views of bleak ice and mountains, this movie hasn't got a clue what it wants to do. Convince you of global warming? Scare you with mutant hybrid creatures that look like stuffed animals you'd win at a carnival? Tear your heart out with thwarted love and dog death? Make you laugh uproariously at the absolutely insane behavior of "smart" scientists? Teach you not to cry while eating bananas? BG is all this, and more.Throw these movies into a blender: The Thing, Alien, Day of the Animals, Old Yeller, Sound of Music, and that moldy oldie from the 50s, Night of the Blood Beast (the very first movie to speculate that humans make great hosts for birthing alien infants). Turn on blender. Wait about 80 minutes. Pour out your scifi smoothie and wonder how this ever got made. Take a drink of your liquid every time someone says "rabid fox", which in German sounds like "rabbit fuxes". Tack on one of the strangest endings you'll ever see and wonder if someone slipped LSD into your movie smoothie. No kidding.Pray there's no sequel. Four stars for insanity. One star for Tinni, the best goshdarn dog actor in the world. One star, because ibexes. Six is the magic number for this smelly sausage of a movie that features someone walking around a glacier in dirty underpants.Enjoy the schadenfreud!

Rabh17 This flick, I ALMOST rented from iTunes, but something told me: "Wait..." I'm glad I listened to my inner critic...so even though I slated this baby for a Saturday Night B thriller, it did itself in two ways: It Excelled and it Bombed at the same time.The set-up for the 'horror drama' is so predictable and derivative of 'The Thing' that it made me gag. Nevermind the side complaint that considering it about a 'Glacier' I didn't see all that much snow...nor did anyone even give the impression that it was cold at any time during the movie.Next-- they dubbed this movie. They really, REALLY should have gone with subtitles. But because they went with dubbing, by the time I heard "Don't eat bananas while you're crying!" I could only double over with hysterics. For the life of me, I don't know WHERE that line came from or what the script writer was thinking...but that line is Immortal in my view now.The Characters...they were just doomed. They were all going to die. They all DESERVED to die. And their Deaths had nothing to do with the Plot. They just deserved death on principle. And then the Director and the Script Writers deserved to spill blood on the rocks alongside them for good measure.The only person who I liked and who was spared was the Minister: She was a battle-axe of a woman. And evidently most Austrian women are battle-axes, because all the men were wimps or alcoholics in this movie.The screaming was good. It's ironic, because there was no tension or suspense by this point. It was just non-stop screaming and mayhem and I couldn't STOP LAUGHING...because this was NOT the intent of the Movie!!! Oh...and the Monsters were done pretty well. That's what the 4 stars are for.Good Monsters. Many Screams. Hysterical Dubbing.Watch this mess with Friends, Beer and Sarcasm on a Saturday Night.

davannacarter I'm not even going to waste too much time writing this review. This is basically an Austrian version of a SyFy channel movie. Don't let the high-gloss cinematography fool you. The technical problems of the movie first: horrible English voice dubbing reminiscent of Chinese Kung Fu movies. You'll have the voice actors stop speaking but the live actors are still moving their mouths. Plus, the voice actors did not fit their live actors. Voice actors who sound like they are in high school or college should not be dubbing for live actors who look like they're in their 40s. The other technical problem: get a tripod. These filmmakers need to get the stupid idea that swaying the camera from side to side throughout the entire movie heightens the realism out of their heads. No movie has ever suffered because camera wasn't shaking or swaying. But every movie that has constant swaying or shaking has suffered. Fact.As far as the story goes, there are characters acting real dumb and stuff that doesn't make sense. If you asked me to list at least two dozen really stupid things characters did in this movie, I could give you three dozen in one minute. Just goes to show you that SyFy channel doesn't own the monopoly on really stupid horror.By the way, the creature effects range from mediocre to terrible depending on who you ask.So if you want a SyFy channel movie with an Austrian flair and horrible Kung Fu movie-type dubbing, Blood Glacier is the movie for you.

Flow Blood Glacier is a German movie, thus, the interest is bigger, the expectations lower and the tolerance higher! At least in my case, as a huge horror fan, I take them from where I find them: Hollywood must always prove why they call them self top producers, Asian cinema will have to provide the ghosts and twists, European ones are starting to catch up (especially from North and Spain that offers great thrillers, a step behind horror, but a small one) and South Americans at their beginning!Now let's talk about this one for instance: the story is good, the acting great, the atmosphere very chilly, the monsters are bad, the kills are usually dumb, the plot becomes quite predictable especially towards the very ending. Would I call it a flop or a step up from your usual "in a deserted place" horror? Neither, as it fits just perfectly in the middle, thus, it got a 6 from me, just so I'll encourage Germans to continue their work. You can clearly see that they put heart in their efforts, they search for the best actors, they try to build up a good tension, but probably cause of the lack of experience, they sometimes forget how to keep things straight.So all in all, for a cold late night, or one with a nice storm outside, this one will do the trick. You will feel the actors, their pain, despair and fear. Blood Glacier is a good add-on for one horror fan who wants to catch them all.Cheers!