JJonsey I have watched a lot of total crap in my time and NEVER have I seen a Satanic medieval henchman lead a pirate, a couple of vikings and what appears to be a smattering of unarmed peasants into battle against a troupe of GUN Wielding renaissance costumed buffoons and women who appear to be from the deep south circa 1860. You might as well have Harry Truman wearing confederate gray lead Jesus and Harry conick Jr. into battle against Canada and it's mighty army of Huns in 1534 using laser guns and crossbows for all the accuracy in this movie.Even the MST3K version doesn't have enough jokes to contain the awfulness of this asstastic abortion.PS - Thats just the first 3 minutes.

Scott As the most recent installment of Mystery Science Theater 3000 movies I have seen (Parts: The Clonus Horror doesn't count because I've already seen it) I immediately went out and rented this movie after I saw the show. I wanted to see this movie as it was originally made if I wanted to form an honest opinion about it. And, after seeing this movie twice, I have come to the conclusion that this movie wasn't so terrible. "But it has such a low rating! You're just not an easy critic!" No I am not. I consider myself to be very harsh. In some of my other reviews I have bombarded movies to no end with my opinions. I simply feel that a movie should automatically be voted so low merely because it was shown on MST 3K. On the IMDB scale of 1-10, I gave this movie a three (3) and here's why.This movie has a decent plot. No, the plot's not the journey of Tee to the lost cellar, it's not the victories over Lord Voltaire and it's definitely not the Delta Knights attempting to bring about the New Renaissance (they could have done that years before if they hadn't waited for Tee to come around). This movie's decent plot was the back story of how the lost storehouse came to be, through their inventions and writings of Archimedes and the technology of the lost continent Atlantis. That is where the story induces interest into me. I think it's interesting to have a story where Leonardo da Vinci was really a thief of good ideas and Archimedes was the real genius. It's a new twist on old facts, and therefore it deserves some credit. I think if this movie had more of a budget, it could have been made into a very decent picture. The MST3K viewing of this movie produced two of the funniest quotes I have ever heard from the show. Both quotes came from the scene where Baydool comes out of the bathroom holding his pan of pee and Pearl exclaims "Ewwww! Wizard wiz..." I think the house shook I was laughing so hard. But then, not five seconds later, he threw his urine on the guy trying to steal Tee and Baydool makes the goofiest and Tom says "That's my pee!" After that I lost it. I was rolling on the floor, stuffing my face into my pillow trying to muffle my laughter. Boy those two quotes really made that one episode worth watching because most of the stuff after that wasn't really that great. I would actually prefer to watch the movie without Mike, Tom and Crow and make my own jokes instead of having the show tell me what's funny about the movie. I would much rather use my own humor to make my own jokes to degrade this movie.All-in-all, I think you people judged this movie too harshly. A movie being on MST3K doesn't necessarily qualify it for being a terrible movie. Thank you and good day. -Scott-

divaclv ...there was a production company that wanted to make a sword-and-sorcery flick on a shoestring budget. So they hired out a California Rennaisance Festival and had the extras wander around in front of the merchant shops, and used them for the backdrop of an unoriginal story about a kid, a whore, and Leonardo daVinci (I am SO not making this up) off to find a bunch of junk Archimedes left lying around after the fall of Rome.Of course, it fails spectacularly. It fails even more spectacularly if you're actually involved in RenFest or SCA-type activities, because then you can tell that the costumes on the extras come from about fifteen different time periods and locations. And that nobody, no not even the Vikings, wore horns on their helmets the way the Vulchare's henchmen do. And that nobody PERIOD would have dressed in the EFX-chorus costumes they stuck Olivia Hussey and David Warner (as Vulchare) into.The painful segments of this film are innumerable. Such as the pee-throwing scene. Or "advanced" spy techniques employed by the Delta Knights, which involve meteorlogical discussions and that writing-with-lemon-juice-on-paper-and-heating-it-to-reveal-secret-message trick that children's science shows always do. Or Richard Kind in an annoying cameo and possibly the worst fake beard in film history (yes, even counting the wool on Captain Santa's face in Space Mutiny). Or the way the whore solicits the kid for sex even though he's not old enough to shave. Or the guys who wear Halloween masks and live in a summer camp obsticale course, one of whom screams "I'M COMMMIIIIIIIIIIING!" in what sounds for all the world like Cheech Marin's voice. Or the notion that Leonardo wasn't a genius, he was an irritating schmuck who stole all his ideas from Archimedes.The MST3K version, of course, is priceless. I highly recommend it--it will ease the pain.

Ian-37 How did Olivia Hussey get roped into this? For that matter, how did David Warner get roped into TWO roles!?Set SOMEWHERE in Europe during medieval times, it's a pastiche of unidentifiable movie genre. Its saving grace is the inspired casting of Richard Kind, thick New York accent and all, as a klutzy wizard - it's worth the price of admission (if you can find a copy!).This movie is simply much worse than it would have been with a coherent plot and intelligent dialogue. Does it border on being so bad that it's good? Yes!