Ersbel Oraph
Boring. Dull. Uninspired. The jokes are old. The movie is slow. That should be it, but the IMDb staff asks for ten lines. And there is not much else to say. For a movie made in some small third world country that would count as good acting. For an A list cast that is bad acting. But Seth never went any better anyway.The story is silly and pointless. The dialogue is tedious. And well spaced to give the pain for the slow slow story.The jokes? Canned laughs would work miracles to give the viewer some hints.Contact me with Questions, Comments or Suggestions ryitfork @ bitmail.ch
Jack Venturo
Greetings Movie Lovers and Movie Makers! This month we will be discussing "TED". When you are a fan of "Family Guy" and/or adult humor in general you get excited when you see a new RED BAND trailer for a comedy like "TED" and let me tell you I was on the edge of my seat with anticipation for this movie and watched the trailer several times showing it to my friends and laughing every minute. My high expectations where my downfall… Jack "The Film Lover" says... "TED" was funny but not hilarious, I liked it, but I didn't love it. I expected more and maybe even too much, I wanted to have fun with this one, I wanted to feel like the cast & crew of "Family Guy " where going to elevate themselves to the big screen and get a standing ovation. I liked the movie; don't get me wrong but maybe they shouldn't have tried so hard to NOT be like "Family Guy" would it be so wrong to add a little more "Family Guy"? even some cutaways would have been great. It's a fun movie and has its cute parts and is a pretty good buddy comedy, especially if you are a child of the 80's and know your movies, there are awesome references in there of some of the greats… oh and "Flash Gordon" too. Mark Wahlberg and Mila Kunis where great together and have a nice balance and chemistry on screen, Ted was funny as I expected him to be and the three of them do create a good comedic balance. Oh and let's not forget the amazing party scene and one of the best fight scenes ever captured on film, I mean it's right up there with the bath house fight scene in "Eastern Promises" what? You haven't seen that movie? Well get a bottle of vodka ready and watch it! It's amazing! Jack "The Filmmaker" says… "TED" is a tough one, when making a movie to please the fans you have from a different form of media (Movie from TV show) you either have to add more of that media or nothing at all… there is no in between. When Trey Parker and Matt Stone did "Team America" they added tons of "South Park" and got a great comedy. When Mike Judge made "Office Space" he added nothing of "Beavis & Butthead" or "King of the Hill" and people didn't respond well. Not until a new cult following that has revived one of the greatest movies of all time. But in 1999? It was disappointing, and now with "TED" I think we needed more "Family Guy" not just a couple of hint voices here and there and seeing the cast in live action form but a lot more! Or nothing at all. I Love Seth MacFarlane but it took me a while to start retraining my brain to believe I was not listening to Peter Griffin's voice but Ted's voice! Giovanni Ribisi is a great actor but oh boy did he make this movie awkward at times, I wanted to laugh! Not feel uncomfortable. Oh and Jack "The Parent" says… Take no kids to this movie! Well maybe if you have a cool teenager and you want to have a hang out night with them, there are some raunchy jokes in there that might make the living room on family movie night get real quiet and awkward. Late teens will probably get more of the jokes than you do and in that case you might want to take one with you to explain things. God bless the internet!
Shilo
I laughed my head off at Seth MacFarlane's new comedy "Ted." Seth is the guy who created a popular adult animated sitcom called "Family Guy." If you have seen the show, you know what you're getting into with this picture. Raunchy humor, gags, and a stoner Teddy Bear. Let me just say that, this film is not for kids at all. It's very adult and the concept of a talking teddy bear might be appealing to younger audiences but it's very much an adult film.It's about a lonesome child, John Bennett, who makes a wish at Christmas time that his new teddy bear come to life and be his friend forever. The wish comes true and Ted comes to life. Word spreads the he is alive and he becomes a brief celebrity. Years go by and, John (Mark Wahlberg) is 35 years old and living a hedonistic life with Ted as his roommate. With his anniversary approaching, his girlfriend, Lori (Mila Kunis), wants to marry John but fears if Ted is always around, he will never move forward. When Ted moves out on his own, a creepy dad takes a twisted interest in the bear and it's up to his old friend to save him from being bear-napped.Seth makes his directorial debut with this film and If you've ever watched "Family Guy," then you're aware of the raunchy humor and this picture is no different. Peter is the boozy slacker, Lois is the dirty wife, Meg is the dork, Chris is the dummy and Brian is the brainiac. Seth is able to create a family of characters that never seem to run out of steam. There is always a cutaway gag, a laugh or a joke that will make you howl. The show has been running for years now and it doesn't seem like it's going to die out anytime soon. "Ted" is the same as "Family Guy." It's funny enough to keep you entertained and it never runs out of steam. Ted's foul mouth is enough to make you laugh but the situations he finds himself in with John are hilarious.Patrick Stewart opens the film with an explicit narrative and we meet young John. He's the kid that nobody likes in the neighborhood and wishes for a friend. When his parents, Seth MacFarlane and Alex Borstein, who voices Lois from "Family Guy," gives him the bear, he makes the wish under his sheets with a flashlight and the bear comes to life. Now the question I had is "How is a talking Teddy bear going to be funny?" I got my answer. Most of the laughs in the film comes from the bears dialogue. He's incredibly vulgar, he inhales vast amounts of weed from a bong and has a childhood hero in the form of Sam J. Jones from the 1980 film "Flash Gordon." He has a love for drugs and hookers and he offends everyone he comes in contact with. He ends up getting a job as a cashier at a local grocery store and has sex, somehow, with one of his co-workers, Tami-Lynn (Jessica Barth) in the back of the store on the produce.It takes on the issue of staunch friendship in a hearted way. Ted and John, call themselves the "Thunder Buddies." and it has something to do with thunder and a fart. Mila Kunis is sweet as John's girlfriend but she is under-used. When Ted is forced to move out, the real challenge begins. John is always running off to spend time with Ted even though it will get him in trouble. "How do you say away from your trouble-making best friend?" There is a sequence where Ted is at a party with John and they dare Sam to punch through a wall to prove he is Flash Gordon. Sam Jones has become a party animal and breaks through the wall angering an Asian man with a knife in one hand and a duck in the other. I actually had to hold my stomach because I laughed so hard. The scene descends into chaos and you will have to watch it to see an amusing fight between Ted and the duck.MacFarlane has given us a comedy we can finally laugh at but there's a subplot in the film involving a creepy father, Donny (Giovanni Ribisi) who wanted Ted when he was a kid. Now he has turned his sights on trying to get Ted for his spoiled chubby son, (Aedin Mincks). After all the jokes, it serves as the peril for the film. I supposed something has to happen in the end but it's basically a setup to give Ted a lot of time to poke fun at the chubby kid "Oh, I hear the fat kid." Even during a peril situation, MacFarlane manages to keep the steam going. I must say he is one of the most talented minds I have seen in a very long time. The film will presumably do well at the box office and you can bet there will be a "Ted 2." This is one of the funnest movie of the year but It's clear to me that this film will be in the crosshairs of younger kids given that it's about a talking teddy bear but it's much more adult than "Family Guy." I must stress to parents that the film is very adult and a very R-rated movie. A lot of parents will see the poster and figure a talking teddy bear in a movie could be cute. No, take your kids to see anything but this and enjoy it for yourself.
