Platypuschow Willy Warlock is back *Huzzah* and he's been recast AGAIN!This time he's facing off with a coven of witches who like ripping peoples hearts out and satan and occult and.....yeah, same as usual basically.With the usual brand of sex, terrible sfx and a bafflingly poor story the Witchcraft franchise returns for its 13th addition to the franchise. By now you'd think they'd have had at least one watchable film, if only by accident! Alas they haven't.As amazing as this sounds all things considered, this is a contender for the worst one yet. The plot was even more jumbled than usual and all these different actors playing the same character is just making my head spin.Watch at your own peril.The Good:NopeThe Bad:Weirdly darkPoor sound qualityLaughable sfxPoorest plot yetThings I Learnt From This Movie:Lucky no.13 doesn't apply here

Michael_Elliott Witchcraft 13: Blood of the Chosen (2008) * (out of 4) After a six year hiatus, the WITCHCRAFT series is back with its (so far) final entry. Will Spanner (Tim Wrobel) is back and this time he's once again investigating the death of a friend, which once again has him tangling with evil forces. Ahh, the thirteenth entry into this series is quite a strange one for a few reasons. You can tell that the screenwriters wanted this series to return to the fans and they even offered up various things connecting to previous entries. As you might remember, there was a character who started off a man but switched to a woman and this here is explained. We even have returning characters going as far back as the second film and there are even other moments where plot points from previous movies are mentioned. I certainly applaud the screenwriters for attempting to give fans some sort of connection but sadly it's all wasted because this film is downright hard to watch. I say that because technically speaking this film is just a disaster as nearly every scene is so dark that you can't make out what's going on. The audio quality is also extremely low, which at times makes the dialogue hard to understand. It's strange that the technical quality would be so bad here and it really hampers the sex scenes, which is usually the drawing point for this series. These scenes are so dark that quite often you can't see any of the actual nudity! The performances are pretty much what you'd expect from the series but I will say they aren't the worst. The special effects are basically limited to the killers ripping the heart's from the victim's chest but none of them are all that believable. WITCHCRAFT 13 is certainly just going to be for fans of the series but it's doubtful many of those will make it all the way through.

Woodyanders Successful nice guy lawyer and warlock Will Spanner (a solid and engaging performance by Tim Wrobel) investigates a series of gruesome ritualistic killings while struggling with his own dark past. Director Mel House, working from a straightforward script by Michael and Jeffrey Wolinski, relates the fun story at a steady pace, maintains a generally serious tone throughout, delivers a pleasing amount of delicious female nudity and sizzling soft-core sex, and tops everything off with a nice smattering of grisly gore (various guys have their hearts ripped out and eaten). The earnest acting from a game no-name cast constitutes as another plus: Steven Scott contributes a neat turn as helpful occult expert Eldridge while Lynn Michaels and Richard Flood do sturdy work as the two cops on the murder case. Moreover, a hot and sexy bevy of lovely ladies ensure that this pictures remains watchable from start to finish: lovely Jennifer Lafleur as desperate and attractive client Dolores, buxom redhead Zoe Hunter as the enticing, but dangerous Skylar, tasty blonde Roxy Vandiver as the slinky'n'seductive Keely, the gorgeous Anjanette Clewis as the lethal and wicked Leandra, and the fetching Falin Proffitt as eager and smitten intern Laura. The rinky-dink (not so) special effects possess a certain endearing tacky charm (the CGI stuff in particular is amusingly crummy). Robert Ybarra's shuddery score does the quivery rocking trick. William Leonardo Molina's cinematography is pretty plain, but overall acceptable. An enjoyable piece of junk.

WpnX71 It's still a turd.This movie can not be compared to anything Mr. Von Trier has done. Mel House is not a brilliant filmmaker that hits every beat with a press of a button on the camera.The story surrounding Witchcraft 13 is completely uninteresting and boring. Some witches are killing some pointless guys to try to find/get to Will Spanner because he is important in some way. That's all there is to the story. And the twist at the end is just plain stupid. The movie is so bad no one cares that they are brother and sister, to be honest, the movie should have been about him finding out that and then struggling to be with her or not.This is another movie that incorporates unnecessary characters. The two detectives can be taken out and the movie would still be just as bad. And the witches could have been cut down to two at max.The acting is well below bad. Poorly delivered lines and unbelievable performances (in the bad way, not good) are a huge distraction and provide more laughable moments rather than serious intense moments. Even the sex scene was a one camera set up that makes a porno look like Citizen Kane.The special effects in the movie are awful too. The lightning bolts and fire balls look like they came from an early 90's fighting show.All in all, this is one of those flicks that you sit back on wonder, "why did someone make this movie?"