TheLittleSongbird Jolly Roger: Massacre at Cutter's Cove isn't without its redeeming qualities. The strip scenes are amusing, Kristina Korn is easy on the eyes and likable and, although his character is made too much of a wimp at times, the talented Rhett Giles does give a decent performance. Unfortunately, that's the only praise I can give. It is a cheap-looking film, though I've seen cheaper, with dull lighting, very annoyingly slipshod photography and special effects that are so fake and lacking in any finesse or technical value. The music is obvious, unfitting and has nothing memorable. Jolly Roger: Massacre at Cutter's Cove also has some of the most sophomoric dialogue I've heard in recent memory, the story holds no surprises, as we have seen it all before and executed far better, has no atmosphere or nail-biting suspense and is eye-rollingly ridiculous at times too. Some of the scenes are clearly repetitive of others in the film, but clumsily disguised to not make it look so. There are no likable characters, again I don't mind stereotypes and clichés as long as they are written well and interestingly, which Jolly Roger: Massacre at Cutter's Cove failed to do. Jolly Roger is the one character you sort of root for, though Korn does decently with really bad material, the others are obnoxious in the worst sense. There are many killings, but they offer no genuine sense of horror, they're bloody but crude-looking and unoriginal and they are often very randomly placed. The acting is generally awful, Tom Nagel is bland while everybody else, especially in the scene where the Mayor talks to the kids about LeChuck, overacts to the point of utter embarrassment. Korn and Giles are the only two exceptions. All in all, not terrible or the worst movie ever, but it is a good idea to skip this one. 3/10 Bethany Cox

bigsaltyholesofprapness I cannot begin to describe how good this film was. It made me cry with the powerful emotions it evoked! Masterful acting and whoever directed the murder sequences was definitely on form that day. Who would have thought that it was possible for someone to completely disappear whilst decapitating one's victim with one's own bare hands?! Then it was into the fish tank with the head and on with the film which was an absolute roller-coaster of a ride and had me gripping the arms of my seat in terror/hysterics/ expectation/effort to suppress the need to urinate.Unfortunately there were no intended jokes, but it was enough for me that at the beginning of the film one of the budding actors quipped: "Did you hear about the pirate movie?", "No", "It was an arrrrrr Rating!" Or something suitably terrible to that effect. Pure class.This film had become a firm favourite and my friend and I are soon discovering that if you play the game of 'good film bad film' (can you guess which one Jolly Roger was boys and girls?!) sometimes the bad film ends up the most entertaining! Yay for bad films! Peace out!

danthewrestlingmanorigin Please do not view a film with a storyline like this, and give some pretentious review on it. It's a killer pirate horror/ comedy, and judged as a killer pirate horror/comedy it's an excellent film. Rhett Giles is hilarious as Jolly Roger, and is very different from his other serious toned Asylum roles like Frankenstein Reborn. The death scenes here are well staged, and Jolly Roger doesn't mess around, racking up a very large body count, mostly by decapitation. You also have plenty of sexy skin scenes, including the drop dead hilarious strip club scene. " Is That A Musket In Your Pocket, or Are You Just Happy To See Me?" is the type of gut busting dialog you can expect. The basic story is actually pretty good here, and with the success of historical period horror films like the excellent Straight Into Darkness, somebody should try to make a serious pirate horror film. If you enjoy tongue in cheek horror like Jack Frost, Santa's Slay, or The Leprechaun series, I can pretty much guarantee you'll enjoy this. Asylum should definitely do a sequel, as this is one of there better efforts.

Paul Andrews Jolly Roger: Massacre at Cutter's Cove starts late one night in the small American coastal town of Cutter's Cove where six teenage friends are on the beach enjoying each other's company. Lovers Alex (Tom Nagel) & Jessie (Kristina Korn) begin to argue while another couple head off into the night for a bit of nookie when the guy spots an old chest half buried in the sand, he opens it & finds a skull which he throws into the sea. From the watery depths the skull begins to develop flesh & a body, eventually a nasty pirate known as Jolly Roger (Rhett Giles) is fully re-animated & returns from the dead. Roger starts by killing Alex & Jessies friends for which they inconveniently get the blame, can they convince the police that a zombie pirate was responsible? Can Roger be stopped in his quest to avenge his own death by killing the ancestors of the founders of Cutter's Cove who killed him? Watch it to find out...Co-written & directed by Gary Jones I thought Jolly Roger: Massacre at Cutter's Cove was pretty poor throughout, even by straight-to-video teen slasher films standards which aren't that high in the first place. The script by Jones & Jeff Miller moves along at a fair pace, doesn't seem to take itself too seriously & features a fair few admirable traits like some good gore & the first ever cinematic scene featuring a zombie pirate visiting a strip club for no apparent reason other than to be gratuitous & get a few naked females on screen, hey it worked for me! On the negative side (how long have you got?) it's dumb, stupid, poorly written, predictable nonsense. I would imagine that the filmmakers decided that Pirates of the Caribbean: The Curse of the Black Pearl (2003) did good box office & with a sequel due out soon thought they would take the whole pirate theme & make a Scream (1996), Friday the 13th (1980) rip-off with a wise cracking zombie killer. Hey presto instant hit!Director Jones was obviously working with a low budget so I'll cut him some slack, Jolly Roger: Massacre at Cutter's Cove still looks terrible though with no visual style at all. It's not scary, it's more cheesy fun, you know it's the sort of film you can't take your eyes off because it's entertaining for the wrong reasons. To it's credit there's some decent gore, a woman is split in half, there's some decapitations, severed heads, severed arms, severed hands, kebab skewers in eyes, impalings & some really cool slashed throats & thankfully the filmmakers weren't afraid to use plenty of fake blood.With a supposed budget of about $500,000 it's not much of a surprise that the special effects aren't up to much, this ain't no Pirates of the Caribbean in any way, shape or form! The acting was average at best even for this type of film.Jolly Roger: Massacre at Cutter's Cove is an OK watch as long as you go into it knowing that it's crap. If your looking for a good film then forget it because Jolly Roger: Massacre at Cutter's Cove ain't it, but if your just looking for something to laugh at that has the usual language, bad jokes, blood & severed limbs & a fair amount of nudity then you could do worse. I've seen better, much better but at the same time I've seen worse, although not by much.