daviesjon-1 It's hard not to like Pirates of Treasure Island.You know you're onto a winner when the same location (in this case, the treasure island of the title) is described on separate occasions as being, 'hidden in the bowels of Satan' AND 'the devil's playground'. Not only does it create a kind of glib, cartoon element to the proceedings, but really makes you wonder what ol' Beelzelbub's getting up to these days.Other verbal highlights include 'Beware the one egg' (or something), 'All the powder in the world' (NOT in reference to cocaine), and pretty much every deathbed speech of the last ten minutes, as if being shot is now some open licence to soliloquise.The plot is the standard affair from the perspective of a bored, insipid landlord apparently keen to throw of the shackles of the easy-going beverage industry (complete with large-breasted obliging barmaid) to don a bandana and shout 'argh' at the rain, in a predominantly-ship-based 'adventure' that often serves as a mere backdrop for grown men to compete in a 'most audacious headwear' competition, talk in embarrassing accents and - again - shout 'argh' at the rain. Fortunately, the large-breasted obliging barmaid tags along to produce one of several dramatic 'You're a woman?!' revelations which, by the climax, sees our young hero leading a quartet of inappropriately attired floozies in a battle against the male oppressors - sorry, I mean Pirates - in what can at best be described as an abstract, watery pimp-off.Allegiences in this film may initially seem hazy, but allow me to elucidate: if a character has tits, they side with the protagonist. If they have a wig, they get shot. If they have a muddy face, then they're evil and must be stabbed by the people with tits. Easy.I'll close with some drinking game suggestions. 1 finger when you're unconvinced by a CGI insect, 2 fingers when someone inexplicably gets shot, and 3 when the camera deliberately repositions for the best angle of our leading lady's bosoms. If no-one yet knows she's a lady, down it.

Dean Chet Rickwaw The best $14.86 I have ever spent. I am now the proud owner of one of the finest movies ever produced. If you are looking for the experience of a lifetime definitely check this flick out. Great special effects, amazing plot, script and so much more! And the music... I have been listening to the soundtrack ever since I watched the movie for the first time six months ago. (I have seen it 52 times since) In addition, the action scenes were the most fluid and well crafted I have ever seen. This movie is a "must see," you will be disappointed if you miss this one. In a nut shell, this movie was an Amish boys 17-year-old dream.

Paul Welsh This DVD is on the TV now. Hired it for my kids.Watched the trailer first. I lie. I started to watch the film, found the first 5 minutes totally incomprehensible then decided to watch the trailer. Released "summer 2006" said the trailer. That set alarm bells ringing since it's only April 2007 now.I reckon this one went straight to DVD.The sound level at the beginning of the film was overly loud. I figured out why after a while. It's because the sound engineer had screwed up and you couldn't hear any of the pathetic dialogue, so they'd just upped the volume in general to try to get round it.It is terrible; like an amateur movie. The accents and pronunciation are lousy (worst British accents I have ever heard) and the acting is simply appalling.I couldn't believe this film was made in 2006 - it seems much older because the general quality of the film is so poor. Honestly, save yourself the bother and don't bother hiring this film for your children, buying the DVD as a gift or watching it on TV. I think this is one of those films that went straight to DVD.Yup, the worst movie I have ever seen. We are about to turn it off.

jtokach Okay, you might want to dismiss a review that claims "the worst I've ever seen", but I asked my wife to name a movie that she has seen that's worse and neither of us could come up with one...I've seen better acting in soap operas. There aren't words in the English language to describe how painfully horrible the acting is with the exception of Lance H. as Long John Silver.The story line is very poor (giant bugs???) and arranged in a way that just confuses the viewer. Characters are thrust into the story line without any previous mention. If you're not familiar with the story of Treasure Island and who the characters are, you'd undoubtedly be lost.Due to the terrible acting, piecemeal editing, and terrible story line, I have come to the conclusion that this movie was or was intended to be a porn.